Isabella
When I wake up, I’m confused for a few seconds but as I pull myself away from the hard chest that I’m snuggled against, things slowly start falling into its place. Flashes of what I did last night start clouding my brain.
Going to the bar.
Dancing.
Drinking.
Ray’s insults.
Meeting the handsome stranger. Luca
Oh my God, sleeping with him.
Oh my God!
Oh. My. God.
What was I thinking?
I begin to panic as I pull myself away from Ledger who is sleeping like a log, peaceful and handsome and I instantly regret when I miss his body warmth. But I should not be reveling in the feel of his body against mine. That wasn’t my plan.
Nothing of this was in my plan. It just happened.
But now that it has happened, I need to leave.
This would be the best night of my life but nothing more than that.
I do not want to make my life complicated. All I have to focus on is my career. And as wonderful as it feels to be with Luca, I am not ready for this relationship.
Perhaps, even Ledger must think the same. So, it is better I leave before he wake up.
I do not want to make us feel awkward after we had such an amazing night.
I make sure my movements are not very jerky. I do not wish to wake him up in the process. Grabbing my clothes from the floor, I make a beeline to the window. Its still dark outside and I doubt I would get a cab but that doesn’t stop me from getting dressed quickly and leave the room with my heels in my hand.
Thankfully, I book myself Uber and sigh when I get one.
As I lean my back against the seat, I can’t help but think about last night. I can’t believe I lost my virginity, something I was holding on to for so long, to a stranger. But it felt so right in so many ways.
Would I have enjoyed losing it to Ray as much as I did with Ledger.
No way!!
Even the thought of it makes me want to puke.
I come home to find it empty. Christy must have spent the night somewhere else but it isn’t new to her unlike me. I drag myself to the bathroom even though, all I want is to slump on the couch and sleep. Taking a quick shower to rinse of the tiredness and ache, sweet ache, may I add, from my body, I finally drop my body on the couch. It doesn’t take me more than few seconds to drift off to a deep slumber.
Ledger
She’s gone.
That’s all I can think about the entire day.
If given a chance, I would have wanted to wake up with her in my arms. I would have loved to make her a cup of coffee and asked if she was okay. And if she wished, made another round of love with her.
I didn’t want to degrade what we had last night by referring it to as s*x. It wasn’t just s*x that we had.
I have had a good share of s*x in my life and I know, how it leaves me physically sated but empty inside. However, this one has left me fulfilled yet yearning for more.
The thought that maybe Isabella doesn’t feel the same makes me highly insecure. Of course, she wants it to be nothing more than a one-time thing.
Heck, we don’t even know anything except our first names and what we were celebrating for. It’s never meant to mean more and I must respect her decision if that’s what she wants.
To be never found out.
To never see one another.
Although, I don’t understand why it leaves me edgy and restless?
For the rest of the week, I immerse myself in work. Work. And lots of Work so that my mind doesn’t drift back to that night but if I thought it was that easy, then I was so wrong.