The Price of Freedom

Chapter 16: Absurdité

DINAH

The fact that I can’t drink alcohol because I’m still on pain meds is a b***h and a half. How do people who don’t drink numb their pain? Do they just pretend like everything is going great? What I would do for a cheap bottle of vodka right now.

“How do I look?” Serena asks me as she tries on her thirtieth outfit of the day. She’s currently getting dressed to go meet with Catarina, and she hasn’t found the perfect outfit yet.

“You look great, why are you stressing?”

Women who are naturally slim can quite literally wear anything and it would be called fashion. I don’t understand why she is stressing so much. But then again, I don’t understand half of the things she does, so maybe she’s just excited to start this new career.

She turns around to look at me, her face scrunched up in derision, “Because this is my first official meeting with The Catarina Dubois, and I want it to go well.”

“It will, just be confident in yourself,” I try reassuring her. Confidence is key right? Especially if you’ll be walking around in lingerie in front of millions of people. There is a certain level of confidence you need to do that.

Serena curls her last strand of hair before turning to look at me, “Will you come with me, please?”

“Sure, it’s not like I have anything better to do,” I mumble putting on my sneakers.

We make the 10-minute walk to Catarina’s store and I am left in awe. I never thought a lingerie store could be so classy. Her designs are beautiful and intricate and they still look comfortable to wear. This woman is incredibly talented.

“Bonjour Serena,” Catarina greets us as we enter the store. She gives Serena a hug and then proceeds to kiss my cheeks, “Bonjour Dinah.”

“Hello Catarina,” I respond, she is overly affectionate, but I guess French people are known for that, or I have just turned into a cynic.

Catarina turns to Serena and holds her face in her hands, “Magnifique comme toujours.”

Serena turns to me confused not understanding what Catarina just said. I told her to take French in high school, but no, apparently, she didn’t have time to learn a new language, after all ‘I already speak Spanish what more could I need?’

“She just called you beautiful,” I translate for her.

“Sorry I don’t speak French,” Serena smiles apologetically.

“Not a problem little dove. Now I have a contract ready for you, I’ll give you some time to read it and if you have any concerns, we can discuss it.” She ushers us upstairs and to the back of the store where she leads us into her workspace.

Now that I have a closer look at Catarina, she doesn’t look as judgmental as I original thought, maybe I’m the judgmental one. She’s beautiful, her features are soft and angelic, her hair looks shiny and soft and so black it reminds me of midnight. Her blue eyes sparkle so bright, it seems like she hasn’t had to witness the harsh reality of life, or she just refuses to allow the negativity to hold her back.

“Sounds great,” Serena responds, she takes a seat at the desk and begins reading the contract.

I wander around the room looking at all the fabrics and designs Catarina has spread about. I never knew so much work had to be put in to design one tiny piece of cloth.

Catarina comes up to stand next to me as I admire one of her designs, she doesn’t say anything, but I know she wants to ask about the injuries that are still visible. I saw the look on her face when she saw me, she was surprised for one, and definitely worried.

“This was my first design, I’ve kept it out ever since to remind myself where I started,” she tells me.

“It’s beautiful,” I honestly compliment her.

“Dinah, I know we don’t really know each other, and you’re new to London, but if you ever need someone to talk to, we can grab a coffee maybe?”

I move my gaze from the design to her and she is just smiling at me, not the I pity you kind of smile, but the genuine kind. The kind that makes you want to smile and see the world with rose colored glasses.

I find myself matching her smile. This is the first time I have genuinely smiled since Jacob, and it feels amazing. I am so happy that I want to cry, what the hell did she do to me?

Before the tears can start falling and my voice would begin to crack, I spoke up, “Thank you, I would really like that actually.”

I think I just made my first friend in London.

Serena calls for Catarina after she’s done reading through the contract, and I try to compose myself before I go over to them.

“Since you’ll be the face of my new line, I would like for you to work exclusively for me for the next year. I have other models as ambassadors, but I want someone new and fresh to be the face. So, in about two months I’ll have a runway show to display the new line and that’s when you’ll make your official debut. Until then, we’ll be working on ad campaigns, social media posts, advertisements and things of that sort, that will be released after the show, how does that sound?”

“Like a dream,” Serena squeals. I can tell that she wants to jump up and down from excitement but is refraining from doing so.

“Do you have any questions for me?” Catarina asks as she signs the contract.

“At the moment no,” Serena responds signing her name.

Catarina takes the contract and files it away before giving Serena a hug, “I’m so happy to be working with you! Okay, well we can get started now if you’d like, I’ll take your measurements and you can try on some of my new designs.”

Serena nods and Catarina pulls her towards a tiny circular stage at the center of the room.

“That’s my queue, I’m going to head out, do you know your way home?” I ask Serena before I leave.

Before she could answer Catarina holds my arm, “Dinah please, why don’t you grab a couple of things as a welcome to London gift.”

“You don’t have to do that,” I tell her honestly. I don’t really like to see my bruised and broken body, so I doubt I’ll be wearing any cute lingerie anytime soon.

“Nonsense, look around and see if you like anything,” she insists calling over one of the attendants to hold my things.

I look around the store and after about an hour of eyeing different items, I find a simple black bra and matching panty set, everything else seems too pretty for me to want to wear it anytime soon. I make my way back to Catarina to thank her for the gift and let Serena know that I’ll meet her at home.

“Is this all you got?” She asks me looking through my small bag.

“Yes,” I respond quietly, is it rude that I didn’t get more? What if she thinks I don’t like her designs. Oh god and we were just starting to become friends; she’ll definitely not want to be my friend after this.

“Absurdité!” she yells.

Catarina checks the sizes of the bra and panty I got and stormed off into the store. She came back with the attendant that helped me and piles of lingerie in their arms. They start stuffing the items into boxes and bags. While Catarina is busy folding the items, her phone dings with a notification and she pulls it out.

“Merde!”

“Is everything okay?” I ask.

“Just gossip magazines, you know how they are,” she tells me with a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes, something is definitely wrong. “Serena darling can I speak to you for moment?”

Serena nods and Catarina waltzes over to show Serena her phone. She reads over the phone for a few minutes and gasps, then hands it back to Catarina. I see them whispering about something and anxiety begins to creep in.

“Umm Dinah, I’m going to show you something but you have to promise to remain calm,” Serena explains as she walks over to me with Catarina following closely behind.

“okay?” I agree cautiously.

Catarina hands me her phone with an article pulled up, my eyes are automatically drawn to the title in big bold letters and then down to the picture underneath it. It’s a picture of Serena and I at the park a few days ago.

“Liam Evan’s new side piece pictured in a heated argument with his ex-fiancé supermodel Elsa Ivanov!”

“What the f**k is this!!!!” I scream not able to contain my anger.

My blood is boiling, I barely had a conversation with that woman, and somehow that translates to arguing with her. I wouldn’t fight another woman for a man. If a man is giving another woman the idea that she has a chance then she can keep him because I deserve better.

Serena takes back the phone and hands it to Catarina, “I said stay calm!”

“How can I be calm when they think I was arguing with her,” I respond as I start pacing around in a panic.

No people are going to think I am crazy or jealous of her. Or even worse that I’m insecure. That last one is right, but I don’t want the whole world knowing.

“It’s just a gossip magazine, no one will actually believe this,” Catarina attempts to convince me.

“The conversation was less than 5 minutes,” I think out loud. In the time she introduced herself to me, how were people able to get pictures that quick? How were they able to recognize who she was talking to, for all they know, it could have been a random stranger. No one should have thought twice.

“I hate this.”

Serena grabs onto my shoulders to keep me still, “You should call Liam, maybe he can get rid of it.”

“I don’t want to talk to him right now,” the last thing I want is for people to get pictures of us and come up with a different story.

“This isn’t his fault,” Catarina defends him.

“Yeah well,” I can’t find anything else to say because it isn’t his fault, he wasn’t the one who took the picture or posted an entire article about it.

“You know we’re right.”

******

I hailed a cab and went straight home after that, Serena stayed at Catarina’s store to finish their first fitting session. I didn’t want to ruin it for her, and she has to start getting used to working. I have no doubt that Catarina would be understanding, but I don’t want to take advantage of her either.

I called Liam to come over while I was in the cab, the last thing I want to do is go outside so people recognize me. Catarina insisted that I take all the bags and boxes she packed for me, so I had to lug them all to the apartment. After a struggling ten minutes, I was finally behind closed doors.

There was a bottle of wine in that the previous owner left here as a gift for us, and I haven’t had the chance to drink it, but I am seriously contemplating it right now. I am sitting at the kitchen island just staring at the bottle calculating how long it takes pain medication to leave your system.

A knock at the door brings be back from the precipice of disaster and I rush over knowing it must be Liam. I check the peephole first, because the last time I opened the door without checking, well Jacob happened.

Thankfully it’s just Liam, so I open the door and let him come in. He doesn’t even take a seat before he starts talking, he genuinely looks worried.

“Hey what’s the emergency, is everything alright?” He asks out of breathe. Did this man run all the way here to be so winded. I’ve seen him run for more than ninety minutes, he’s in great shape.

Damn why does he have to be so attractive. He’s wearing a pair of joggers and a windbreaker and he still looks as fine as ever.

I quickly remember why I called him over here, “Everything is not alright!”

“What’s wrong Dinah, you’re worrying me?” He questions me searching for any new injuries.

I walk around him and pop the bottle of wine open, “I met a woman, tall, blonde, gorgeous, and Russian, ring any bells?” I tell him as I pour two glasses.

I hand him one of the glasses before he responds, “You met Elsa?”

“Wasn’t really much of an introduction, she recognized me from the airport picture, called me short, and hoped you’d find the time for me,” I answered as I tipped his glass for him to drink.

I can’t drink, and I’m trying to be more responsible now, so I’ll just live vicariously through him.

“Elsa is not a good person, please stay away from her,” he warns me, and he actually looks upset. I can’t tell if he’s angry because I talked to her or because he claims she isn’t a nice person. I can vouch for the not nice part, but that doesn’t automatically make her terrible.

“I wasn’t even planning on meeting her; I didn’t even know who she was! Now the whole world thinks I’m jealous of her!” I shouted, I was annoyed, and a little bit furious now. I can’t even drink and I would rather not be sober for this conversation.

“What are you talking about?” Before I answer I take the empty glass and hand him mine, he looks at me weird but takes it anyways.

“Well, drink it,” he doesn’t question me, he just takes a sip as I watch him gulp it down. A small drop is left on his lip and I just want to run my tongue across it.

Instead I lean against the island, pull out my phone and show him the article. His face turns into a scowl as he reads through it.

When he’s finally done, he raises his eyes to look at me, “I’m so sorry Dinah.”

“Can you fix it?” is all I ask, because at the moment that is all I need from him. Well, I’m a liar, he could definitely give me something else.

“I’ll see what I can do, but the article has been released already, the best I could possibly do is get them to take it down, but people must have already seen it.”

That is obviously not what I wanted to hear, “Liam, I don’t want this, you may be used to being in the public eye, but this isn’t for me. Please if you can, just have it taken down.”

He steps closer and places his arms on either side of me blocking me in between his body and the kitchen island. “Dinah look at me, I’ll fix it. Just trust me.”

“No Liam, I can’t. I really like you, but I was stupid to think that I could be with you and stay in the dark,” I say shaking my head not being able to meet his gaze.

Liam places his forehead on mine, and I can smell the wine on his breathe, “Tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it.”

I feel lightheaded being so close to him, but I need to focus on the real problem, I can’t lose my senses right now.

“There’s nothing you can do; this is your life. You’re an amazing athlete and your life will always be under public scrutiny; you belong to your fans. I just don’t know if I’m willing to give up my privacy.”

He took a deep breath and before I knew it my hands were holding onto his neck and my lips found his. My eyes fluttered close as Liam’s hand found the way to the back of my head, his fingers gently tangling through my hair, the small sting I felt from the pain was nonexistent as his lips played with mine.

He picked me up and placed me on the island as his arms wrapped around my waist and my legs wrapped around his. I was panting for air, but I didn’t want to let go, not just yet. Liam’s mouth devoured mine with persistent and indulging swipes of his tongue, and oh god did it feel good.

My hands slipped under his jacket and I felt his body tense wherever my fingers skimmed over him. Our kiss became more heated and persistent and when he reached inside my shirt and I winced at the contact once he reached my ribs he drew back.

“I’m sorry,” he gasped in between breathes.

I took a few deep breathes attempting to ignore the pain from my fractured ribs, and focus on the heat and passion I felt from his kiss instead. “It’s okay,” I finally responded.

Liam gave me one last peck on my lips, “I’ll fix it. I promise.”

I snaked my arms around his neck and laid my head on his chest as he continued to regulate his breathing, “I know.”