CHAPTER 4-2
1015 Words
They had spent a year of their lives together at the Secret Seminary, but this was the first time Simon saw Hannah cry. He wrapped his arms around her, and she buried her face into his chest. “You scared me so much.”
“I’m sorry. I ... I didn’t really want you to find me. Not yet.” Could she hear how fast his heart was racing?
“I am so glad to see you,” she breathed.
“You have no idea how thankful I am to hear you say that.”
She wiped her cheek. “What do you mean?”
“For as long as I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you break one rule. Not one.” He pulled away. If he held her for even a minute longer, he would never find the strength to let her go again. He let his fingers brush against hers for a brief moment before dropping his hands to his sides. “You’ll probably hate me for this, but I’ve been following you.” She didn’t say anything. Was she angry? He hurried to clarify. “It just didn’t seem right, sending you out all alone. No one to look out for you. I know the Sterns said it was safer to travel separately, but, well, you’re so young. And if anything happened to you, and I wasn’t there to protect you ...”
She raised her eyes to meet his. “I understand.” His throat burned. He reached for her hand, and this time her fingers intertwined with his.
He shifted his weight. “It just didn’t seem right, walking away from you, always wondering what happened to you. I didn’t think I’d be able to handle not knowing.”
“Me, either.”
He heard the tremor in her voice but resisted the urge to take her in his arms again. They had work to do. “I wasn’t planning to scare you like that. I was hoping you wouldn’t even notice me. Then, when I saw what you were about to do with that list ...” Simon laughed. “Did Mr. Stern teach that to you one day when I was sleeping in?”
Her expression was enough to cut off his chuckle. “How long were you going to keep following me?”
Simon stared at her bare toes. “Until I knew you were taken care of, I guess. And I thought you might need some more granola bars.” She scrunched up her face, so he explained. “I saw you give your food away to those kids at the bus station, and I ... well, honestly, I was ashamed. I wouldn’t have even thought of that. And then it made me even more worried for you. I mean, here you are less than a day into ministry, and you’ve already given away your shoes and all your food.” Her face fell. He placed both hands on her shoulders. “I didn’t mean that in a bad way. Like I said, it made me ashamed of myself. But it also made me want to look out for you. Make sure you had everything you’d need.”
“So those extra granola bars were from you?”
There wasn’t any righteous way to deny it. “I put them in your backpack when you were making your first delivery.”
“You’ve been with me this whole time?”
“From a distance, mostly. Sometimes closer than others.”
“I thought I heard something last night.”
“I never meant to scare you.”
“What about your own assignment?”
He stared at a point just past her ear. “I’ll still finish it. Soon.”
She lowered her eyes. “Thank you for being with me. I was really hoping that ... I mean, I really needed some extra courage.”
“So you’re not upset?” Simon held his breath, studying every muscle, every pore, every blemish on her upturned face.
She smiled softly. “Even Jesus told the disciples to go out two by two, didn’t he?”
He picked up her backpack and hefted it over his shoulder. In response to some silent agreement, they both set off at the same time, with Hannah ever so slightly in the front to lead the way to her next delivery.
***
* * * *
She was panting by the time they stopped at dusk. Simon lowered their backpacks and sat down near a grove of trees. “You get some rest,” he said. “I’ll keep watch.”
She had napped almost the whole day away after her meeting with Mr. Tong. She wasn’t sure she could sleep now even if she wanted to. She studied Simon’s darkened face. “How much rest have you had since we left the Sterns’?”
“An hour or two. Not nearly as much as you.” He grinned. Hannah stretched her legs and checked her map. They were about a kilometer or so from her next delivery site. The house was near the center of town, so they would have to wait several more hours until it was dark. There were worse ways to pass the time than sitting next to Simon, watching the massive clouds outlined in pink from the setting sun.
He rolled his neck from side to side. “I’m not sure I can sleep right now, either.”
She felt her cheeks warm up. She brushed off some imaginary dirt from her pants. “Were you planning to come with me all along?”
He drummed his fingers against his knees. “Not in so many words.”
She raised an eyebrow.
“I just knew I couldn’t leave you alone,” he explained. “But I never consciously decided to follow you. At first, I thought I’d just wait around and make sure you crossed the river all right. But when you gave away your shoes and all your food, I knew I couldn’t let you go by yourself. I thought you might need me.” He stared down at his chest and mumbled into his shirt collar, “Just like I need you.”
The words were so quiet Hannah wondered if she heard them right. Or maybe she wasn’t meant to hear anything at all. He looked up at her. “I don’t want to do this alone.” He took her hand in his. “I want to stay together. Help each other out.” She didn’t know what to say. He peered into her eyes. “Well?”
“Yes.” Hannah didn’t realize her lips were trembling until she tried to smile. “Yes. That’s what I want, too.”
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