11 Days

SILENCE IS LOUD

I ran as if my life depended on it. I ran until my legs ached. I ran until my knees creaked from the force of each step. I ran until I was out of breath and my heart pounded violently in my chest, threatening to rush out of it. I stopped right in front of a lamppost and hugged it like my life depended on it. I was breathing hard; I was not in very good shape to say. Exercising had never mattered much to me; over the course of five years I had gained quite a bit of weight. I didn't consider myself thin or chubby, I was somewhere in the middle. As long as my pants still fit then I had no problem with my figure. Few people walked on the sidewalks, at least five cars had passed by in front of me since I stopped running. And I ... I was still trying to regain my strength. Hell, I was exhausted from running like that. I would have to go back to the store later for the hair dye to return to work for the night shift. I felt a little tap on my shoulder, and I stiffened. I looked over my shoulder slowly and there he was standing behind me.

He was panting hard, barely holding himself in check by chasing after me. I wanted to run again from him. From the embarrassing position I had threw myself in.

“I’m… sorry for spying on you and then throwing the money. I’m so sorry.” I blurted out while I still held onto the post. “I shouldn’t have exploded that way either at the diner.”

He held up both hands up as if asking me to stop talking. My mouth immediately closed and zipped it shut for good. He reached into his denim jacket and pulled out a small spiral notebook. I stared at him as he flipped the cover and through several scribbled pages until he found one in blank. He began to write on it. He turned it so I could read.

Why did you run?

Was he serious? “Because I was embarrassed, obviously?” my arms tightened around the post even harder. “Why are you using that thing?”

He wrote again.

I can’t speak.

“You can’t… Oh!” Immediately let go of the post and covered my face with my sweaty palms. This just keeps getting better and better. Way to go, Aviana! I had made fun of a mute man. “I am really sorry!” I raised my voice hoping he could hear me better. He shook his head furiously and chuckled. Then pointed at his ear and made an ok sign. “You can hear me?” A nod. “Of course, you can, you heard me talk about you.”

What’s your name?

“I don’t give my name to people I just me. Sorry.”

His brow furrowed in confusion; his full lips pursed at my answer. He wasn’t expecting for that one. When he started to write again, I immediately noticed he started with an I’m- my hand reached out for his notebook and snatched it away from his grip. His jaw dropped at such a bold move from my part, however he made no attempt to reach for it back.

“We don’t do that here. We don’t give out our names so easily in this town.” When he tilted his head I added, “for our own safety. Once we feel someone’s trustworthy, we share about ourselves with them.” He raised his hand, palm up and quirked up a brow. “Here you go.” I apologized once more and handed back his notebook.

I have to go back to that store. I left in a rush.

“You run quite fast.”

He chuckled and nodded. He has dimples.

“I have to go back there as well,” I felt nervous around him. Probably it had to do with the fact that I had offended him more than once. “Would you like to walk with me?” My face felt so hot. Too hot. The sole thought of him seeing how red I was mortified me even more. However, he didn’t attempt to tease me about it. To my relief, he agreed to my idea. “Great!” We both walked in silence with our eyes straight ahead. My intention was to do a little talking to break the ice, I soon discovered that silence said more than anything else that could possibly come out of my wild mouth. Today was not an easy day for me. Tomorrow it would be exactly five years since I received the first letter. It was always like this. Then I would mark the days on the calendar -11 exactly- until my birthday and I would spend a large part of that day crying and hiding in my bed until a new one arrived. For me there was no peace during that short period of time.

After a while we were both back at the store. He opened the door for me, and I thanked him as I stepped inside. Carla was nowhere to be found this time. Most likely, she was watching us from a comfortable place and thus absorbing every little detail of the scene unfolding in front of her eyes. Again, I found myself in the same dilemma as not long ago as the new guy searched for whatever he was looking for on the shelves. I sighed frustrated with my indecision and took the usual things then went to look for him in the adjoining aisle. He heard me stomping towards him for he glanced up and smiled shily, displaying those adorable twin dimples. “What you got there, six?” He gave me confused look while tilting his head. “Table six. You were at the table number six earlier.”

His lips formed an O in understanding. He eyed me for a long time as if gauging what should he do next, he’d decided to hand me back the envelope I had thrown at him before I escaped from him.

“I can’t accept that.” I took a step backwards, he stepped forward. “I didn’t wait for you today, if anything you should tip my friend… just not so much money.” Tentatively his hand reached for mine and deposited the envelope on my open palm, then closed it into a fist. “I can’t accept this, please, do not insist. You probably did it to teach me a lesson, I get it.” Six sighed taking a step back, giving me some room to breathe easy. “It’s alright. If you want to make use of that money, we have a dog shelter and is in dire need for donations.” He smiled wide, quite boyish it seemed to me. More dimples! “Welcome to Quiet Gate, Six.”