Sincerely, Yours

Chapter Four

I woke up the next morning with Cole on my mind. Strangely, he popped up in my dream last night but as a singing taco. Chuckling at the memory of the strange dream, I began to prepare for work but mid-way getting ready, I got a call from Mrs. Madell. She had told me that she would be home today and was expecting guests so I could have the day off. 

Happily, I put the clothes I had set out for the day back into my wardrobe and laid back down on my bed. What was I going to do with my day? As I have said before, I am a stay-at-home type of person so my social life isn't the best. I considered calling my best friend, Rosetta but at this hour, I knew she would be in class. She was currently studying for her degree in Hospitality, which was a passion of hers. I decided to leave her a text, letting her know that she should call me when she's done with her classes for the day so we could hang out.

*****

Glancing over at the little clock on my nightstand, I saw that it was 11:23 am. I knew my mom would have already left for work and she would be back until much later. A smile came to my face when I realized I would have the house to myself for at least the next 5 hours.

With the click of a button on my stereo's remote, it chirped on and I selected my 'USB' option. The first song that started to play from my playlist was one of my favorites; Pretend by Kevin Gates. As my music pulsated throughout my room, I grabbed my tray, along with my grinder, and began to set up my first blunt of the day. 

Yes, I am a smoker. As was my mother and quite a few people in my family. So I supposed you could say I was raised around weed. I developed a love for it since I was about 14 years old and I've been smoking ever since. Before you say it, No, I am not addicted. I take breaks every so often and I won't die if I haven't had a blunt to smoke.

Cole popped back up into my mind. I wondered if he was a smoker or someone who isn't really about that life. Shaking my head, I attempted to rid myself of thoughts of him. This man should not be interrupting my thoughts this much, this fast. Yet here I was, letting him. Slowly but surely I was allowing this man to cloud my thoughts and I still was not exactly sure as to why. Sure, he was good looking and charming with the Godly smile but he affected me in a certain way that I wasn't sure how to deal with. This type of thing was a first for me. I've had crushes before, caught feelings and all that good stuff, but never to this extent. 

I shook my head, trying my rid myself of these thoughts once more and smiled at the perfectly rolled blunt before me. This is how I'm going to free myself of thoughts of Cole, even if it is for just a couple hours.

******

I passed the blunt to Rosetta and lowered the music a bit. "So you see my problem," I said, " I just can't get him off my mind, girl. And I have no idea why."

She looked at me with a raised brow as she blew smoke out of her nose. "And all this is after one conversation?"

I shook my head and chuckled. "Actually, it started for the first time I saw his back."

Rosetta looked at me again with another raised eyebrow and passed me the blunt. Before, she could say anything I said, "I know. His back. It's strange but it just happened and... well... it's making me feel this type of way every time I'm even at the house."

"Sounds like infatuation to me, "Rosetta said with a shrug, "It happens more than you think and people confuse it with being in love. Do not even go down that path."

I watched her face turn a bit more serious as the mention of 'infatuation'. Almost like she has had a bad experience with it herself. Although we had been friends for a very long time, there are things that we don't know about each other. We both agreed that there are some things that you just don't feel comfortable talking about so we don't force one another to go into it. I sensed this might be one of these things and by the look on her face, I hoped she would talk to me about it so I could help my friend with whatever she had weighed on her heart.

In response, I shrugged and said, "What if he could actually like me? I mean, it's not impossible."

Rosetta glanced at me in the corner of her eye and sighed. "Just take my advice on this and don't entertain him. Do not let him see how badly he affects you and do not get involved."

I squinted my eyes a bit and peered at my friend. Passing her the blunt, I watched her spark it and take a deep puff. She held the smoke in for a few seconds then let it out with another sigh before she said, "It won't end well, Ray."

'Ray' was her nickname for me. I never really liked it because it sounded boyish but over the years, it started to grow on me. "I'm gonna head out. My mom needs me to get some stuff for the market," she said and put the blunt down in the ashtray. Rosetta grabbed her bag and straightened up her clothes a bit.

"I'm sorry," I said as I stood up next to her. " I didn't mean to upset you." Genuinely, I was concerned for my friend. Obviously, she did not want to talk about it and I would not push her. But, how I am going to help her when I don't even know what she went through or how traumatizing it may have been for her?

My friend shot me a small smile and hugged me. "I'm fine," she said, "Just... be careful okay?"

I nodded and returned her embrace. Rosetta left shortly after and I was left asking myself more questions than before she arrived. As curious as I was about her and her situation, her words led me to think about Cole more than ever. Maybe it was infatuation I was feeling but would that be such a bad thing? Rosetta made me feel more confused about this more than ever and I laid back down on my bed with a sigh.

Perhaps she was right and I should leave him alone before I begin to regret this. However, at the same time, I have to consider the fact that just because she had a bad situation, does not mean it will happen to me. 

My mind felt more full than ever before as I weighed the pros and cons. But one thing was certain...

I was not looking forward to tomorrow.