Not Even Human

Chapter Fifteen

“We are not killing your dad.” Mr. Fernandez spoke harshly, and I scoffed.

“First of all, he’s not much of a dad if he’s trying to get me back just to hurt me again.” Mr. Fernandez’s jaw clenched with annoyance, and I continued, “Besides, you said that I could be stronger than him.”

He shook his head, “He’s your dad. If anything, he’s probably the only one out there that’s like you- and he’s also probably stronger.”

“But what if I trained? What if I could be stronger?” I couldn’t mention the faction of Vampyrs that could have him killed either.

“We’re not in the business of studying ‘ifs’, kid. We’re in the business of keeping you and my family safe.” His tone raised, and I could recognize that it was time to leave things alone. I realized even if the clan could protect me- they could protect the humans but only if they knew about each other. I suspect there’s a reason Mr. Fernandez is hiding the truth from me- and a reason the vampyrs hide the truth from humans.

I looked away, feeling defeated, “I just want a home.”

I heard him sigh, before he spoke softly. “Maybe… maybe we should leave the country before he gets closer. Maybe then-“

“I can’t do that to you and your family.” I scratched the back of my neck, leaning back. “Maybe I’ll go by myself this time.”

“You shouldn’t have to be by yourself out there-“

“We have to face reality, Fernandez.” I tapped my fingers against the table, looking up at him with a stoic expression. “I’m supposed to go off to college soon anyways. I can’t live with your support forever. And I shouldn’t be alone- but I have to be.”

“I’m not gonna abandon you, Kim.”

“You’re not abandoning me.” My lips trembled, finding myself resisting the urge to tear up, “If anything, you’re letting me go. And this will be beneficial for everyone involved. Your family won’t move anymore- you won’t be at risk anymore. You won’t spend a lot of money on me at all-“

Mr. Fernandez looked away this time, and I could hear his breath struggle…

“I’ll let you know if I find another way… if not…” He trailed off, before clearing his throat and speaking again, “I’ll book a flight just in case anyways. When would you like to leave?”

I contemplated for a moment. The vampyrs were doing a lot to help me join their clan, and the wolves wanted me dead… maybe I could be a part of them still, but not there, like Gabe had been. I looked up, my mind set, “Next month.”

“Don’t you want to spend more time here?”

“The sooner the better.” I spoke without emotion. I didn’t want to be sad… I had to get my s**t together. I had to be stone cold. After all, I’ve done this a million times before.

Mr. Fernandez sighed, “Well… I guess we should arrange an outing before then.” I looked up expectantly, wondering if he’d be able to say his feelings. “For… old times’ sake, you know?”

When he first found me, I had asked him to take me out for fun- to be like my dad was supposed to be. He only did it on my sixteenth birthday… but never again.

I nodded, a smile on my face. “I’d like that.”

Mr. Fernandez took out his wallet, putting a ten dollar bill on the table, and putting back his wallet into his coat. He got up, looking at me with silence before signing. “See you, Kid.”

Again, I was alone. I took my caramel frappe, walking home in silence.

It was only about ten minutes until I got home, and sat on the couch. I sighed as I thought to myself about everything that was happening lately… everything was a complicated mess when it came to Gabe and the vampyrs and Monica. But did it matter anyways? I was leaving soon.

I looked over to see Gabe’s journal on the table… Come to think of it, I never even read it.

I opened it slowly, and ran my fingers over his cursive name on the first page. He had written his full name of Gabriel Edwin Romaro… That’s kind of a funny middle name. I turned another blank page to see the first entry dated on October twenty-seventh of… 1641?! I knew he was old, but not that old. Well, he was eternally… twenty something?

It read:

‘October 27th, 1641

Gabe here. I don’t quite understand what I need a journal for- if I’m immortal, won’t I remember most things? It’s not like I’m human. Though Nana does say it’s important- but I’m only ten!

I miss my father. She says I should write about how he looks before I forget. If I had to say an animal, I would say a raven. And all I could remember about my mother was that she was soft, dare I say gentle. Like… a little bluebird. Yes. I feel less bitter about remembering my mother now. More… happy.

Now I know why Nana said to write things down- was it all so I could remember her? Nana is too clever these days.’

I smiled at Gabe’s childish manner. He was too cute. Unlike today, where he was a handsome yet mischievous player of women… I turned to the next entry, seeing it was two years ahead.

‘October 31st, 1643

I’m back. London is still boring, well, the town I’m in is anyway. Nana still speaks of writing the things I see everyday. I think it’s stupid, but old people are smarter at times so here goes.

I went into this forest, and I felt like an animal with the way I was able to hear and feel everything. It was incredible. I could run so fast without fear of anybody seeing me- I could climb to the tops of the trees and swing off the branches like monkeys- I could hear animals and wild bears growl. I could feel the bugs on the floor and near my shoes. I even found a ravine!

I tried to test if I could run on water with speed, but I sunk after half a second. I’ll try again tomorrow- I’m sure I just need to be faster. I’m thinking of building a tree fort as well. Maybe I can make some friends like that too.’

I kept reading. It was so fascinating.

‘January 1st, 1644

Sorry for the long wait. Who am I apologizing to, you ask? You, my lovely and not alive diary.

Anyhow, I’ve built the fort. It took a long while…

Who am I kidding? I’m a vampyr! It took me two weeks to build and a week to decorate. Aren’t I the best?

I made one friend, I think. Their name is Levi… I want to be friends with them forever.’

The next date startled me. Why so long to write?

‘September 16th, 1647

I had my first kiss with Levi today. I thought I’d write it down to remember. It’s been too long since I wrote… I don’t know why I stopped.

I find it best to live in the moment, I suppose. My mind seems to run on its own.’

The pages afterwards described his dates and hangouts with Levi over the span of years. All cute, fun, and even described how his schooling and graduation was. Until…

‘May 14th, 1650

Nana is dead. It never occurred to me she could die. I don’t know why I had ever gotten the notion she would stay alive forever with me. How did I figure that?

For the first time in my life, I’m scared. Will I outlive Levi? If I turned her… she’d love me forever. We could be together forever, couldn't we? But first, I’d have to tell her what I am. It’s honestly a miracle she hasn’t figured me out yet…

I pray to you, Nan. Let her be open minded to me.’

I swallowed, almost scared of what the next page held. Obviously, Levi wasn’t in his life anymore. What happened?

‘July 17th, 1650

Levi left me. I finally worked the courage to confess, to show her what I truly was born as. And after many choice words… she left me. Years of friendship and love are gone in an instant because of who I am.

Maybe I am a monster as she said.’

I shook my head, turning the page and eyes widening as I read.

‘January, 1654

I don’t know the date. I know it’s winter…

I’m starving. I don’t remember where Nan would get the blood supply. I started to forget to drink some years before when I still lived with Levi. I needed to be human with her after all…

I’m literally starving. I think I might go crazy. I should perhaps rob a blood bank. And I think I’ve gotten a little wrinkle. Am I aging?’

I frantically turned the page, needing to know more.

‘October 13th, 1654

I’ve killed twenty three people. I went on a rampage- I’d never gotten the courage to rob the blood bank. I was frightened- and now I’m terrified of myself.

I killed. I was starving- I went mad. I’m convinced I’ve gone mad. This is all my father’s fault- if he had been here with me. If he had…

I have to go. I have to find others like me. I have to go.’

More pages of dread, guilt. I skimmed them all quickly until I found one that was different.

‘January 30th, 1786

I’ve found others. They’re kind. They know how to feed properly using blood bags, and are teaching me their ways. I’m so fond of them. I can learn to be my kind properly.’

I put down the book, biting my lip as I processed over all I just read. He’d been through so much… I frowned, wondering what he did in between all those years. How he’s so much better now…

My phone rang, and I raised an eyebrow at the unknown number. I answered hesitantly, “Hello?”

“Kim! Kim, it’s Reyna-”

“What’s wrong? Reyna, are you okay?”

“The wolves- the wolves trapped me on this roof. I’m in the shade, but the sun is moving and if it hits me-”

“You’ll die.” I gasped, “What roof?”

“It’s a roof in the human area- It’s somewhere near the school? I’m- I’m not sure. I don’t usually travel during the day- and everything looks so different in the night.”

“I’ll find you.” I said, “I promise.”