let me love you

I was sitting there holding that red flower tears were continuously rolling down my cheeks I was just thinking about one thing and the question that was playing in my mind was why and I don't even remember when I fell asleep Flashback One day when I woke up I still felt my eyes heavy and teary I always cry before sleeping ughh I stood up and walked slowly inside the washroom after throwing the water on my face for a few minutes I looked up at myself in the mirror I plastered a smile on my face and then came out wiping my face with a towel and found Anu on my bed ughh Ohkay she had set the bedsheet still I don't like anyone on my bed Me- Anu what are you doing here you know that I don't like anyone touching my bed or anything else in my room Anu- diii why are you always angry or shouting why don't you enjoy your life (The girl is Avneet) Avu- can you plz keep quiet I don't want to listen to anything just get lost I shouted oh no my heart ughhh Anu- it's okay calm down diii I'm I'm going just calm down I nodded taking deep breaths I sat on the bed whispering soothing words to calm myself down after a few minutes I was feeling normal I went out after getting Fresh mom and dad were on the table waiting for me Avu- good morning I greeted with a smile plastered on my face and sat there they greeted me back Avu- I'm sorry Anu for shouting in the morning I was just umm I don't know I just was angry without any reason Anu- it's okay dii completely fine you alright now Sonia- what happened to her Aman- what happened princess Avu- I'm fine mom dad I just found myself breathing heavily nothing else Aman- you alright now I just nodded and got an unsatisfied nod back from them Aman- I was saying that my best friends son is coming here for a few days to live with us he is going to have some work here in the city for a few days he was going to stay at a hotel but I thought why when we're having a house here he is like a son to me so good Wowwww now this was remaining Sonia- when is he coming Aman- today in evening take care of him provide him whatever he needs he should feel like home here Mom and Anu just nodded ohk nice now I would have to give a nod too so I finally gave a bored nod while rolling my eyes which wasn't noticed except for my chimpanzee sis you know what I just love to play piano and sing too if I'm well I'm gifted with a beautiful voice I write lyrics full of my feelings which are mostly painful I completed my breakfast and stood up to go back to my room but before that I helped mom to clean the table I took some dishes and settled them in the dishwasher mom was standing with me and I was keeping the dishes Sonia- Avneet beta Avu- hmm Sonia- tomorrow we'll collect your reports and you're having an appointment with Dr Gupta I looked up at her took a deep breath and said Avu- mom go it's just the reports I'll not come with you Sonia- but beta.. I cut her in the middle Avu- mom plz I don't want to it's just the reports I'll go for the checkup next week She sighed and nodded I Avu- I'm going to my room don't let Anu disturb me plz Sonia- ohk but do spend sometime with her she needs you she wants her elder sister to be like sisters Avu- this is for her good only I don't want her to be attached or dependable on me she'll have to be her without me too mom Sonia- but.. Avu- I want some rest I cut her in the middle and went to my room closed the door and opened my little drawer and my secret lover was there my dairy it's my everything I took my dairy out and wrote many things tears were continuously rolling down my cheeks I was biting my lower lip some times while writing few things you wanna know what I wrote so listen I wrote My dear jenny ( I have named my diary as Jennifer and Jenny is her nickname) Today again my heart was thrashing inside me my lungs were begging for air for a few minutes I calmed myself and went down mom and dad were worried Anu wants a sister and I love her the most but I don't want her to be dependent on me it'll be hard for her to move on in the future mom wants me to go for an appointment but I don't want to I'm afraid my reports are coming tomorrow the doctor would tell my issue to mom tomorrow and i know it'll be worse I love you jenny that I'm able to speak my heart out to you I love you so much and you know what dad gave a f*****g good news his best friends son is coming I want privacy and that person will be in my house more than a week I don't get why dad gives free advices to people well leave all that I have to go i have wrote a new lyrics I'm trying to sing that see you again. Love you Your Avi. Yeah so that was my chat with Jenny I went towards the balcony my balcony it's mine attached to my room my second favorite and peaceful place I slid the large glass door which is mostly like a window ohk was a joke yeah so I slid it and sat on the stool of my piano I started playing it all of my feelings come out through it and then I started to sing a song. After singing I sat on the swing with my novel I was reading recently I continued reading smiling lost in the imaginary world and I didn't even noticed that I completed half of it ohk it was super interesting but this is too much I almost read 162 pages of this book and I'm damn sure I would have completed 170+ plus but again Anu disturbed I told mumma to stop her but...ohk so let's spend sometime with her I opened the door an she came inside Anu- can I sit in your bed She said with a cute voice and puppy eyes that made me laugh at her question and the way I nodded still laughing she jumped on the bed with a giggle Avu- but don't mess it up Anu- I won't She promised and I sat beside her and she hugged me which was so comforting I hugged her back after a while we both pulled back and this was the first time I was letting her be like younger siblings I want her to enjoy her life it was a little awkward we were silent looking at each other and then here and there waiting for the other to speak finally she broke the silence Anu- di can I ask you a question Avu- sure I said as I crawled beside her half laying half sitting with the support of headboard. I never sit so close to anyone. Anu- do you love me? I felt a pang in my heart why is she thinking that I do I love her the most she is my life but what's the reason she is thinking all this...