Rock Star

Chapter 3

3

She had no idea how she'd ended up here. Her mind had gone completely blank once she had punched the button for the ground floor in Bryan's building, but she now found herself pounding on the door to Josh's tiny apartment in an infinitely less impressive building.

Her childhood friend flung the door open and took one look at her face before he pulled her into his warm arms.

“Mom or Bryan?” he asked, her face nestled in his chest.

“Bryan,” she managed, tears streaming out hard and fast now, wetting his dark green t-shirt.

She wasn't sure how long they stood there, her crying pathetically into his chest in the still open doorway, but eventually he pulled her into his apartment and kicked the door shut as he led her into the kitchen.

“What the f**k did that asshole do to you? If he hurt you, Serena...” he began, his dark eyes thunderous and his long brown hair falling into his face. “No, no, it's nothing like that. Not physically, anyway,” she said. She collapsed onto one of the stools around his kitchen counter. “I went to surprise him after the charity dinner. He told me he had to work late and wouldn't be able to make it. So I thought it would be a nice surprise if I cooked him a late dinner for when he got home. Only,” she wiped at her eyes and took a few deep calming breaths before continuing, “he was already home. And he wasn't alone.”

She had been friends with Josh since his family had moved in next door to hers when she was seven, and he was eight. She didn't need to say anything more before he strode back to her and pulled her into his chest again. He ran his hand up and down her back to comfort her while letting her cry it out. He whispered what she assumed were words of comfort into her ear, although she couldn't quite make them out over her loud sobs.

Serena was an ugly crier, and had been her entire life. As a result, she was loathe to cry in front of people, but Josh had known her for long enough that it didn't seem to matter anymore. Besides, it wasn't as if she could stop if she tried.

They stayed like that for a while, with Josh stroking her back until the tears subsided, and he only let her go once she was silent once more. He turned to flick on the kettle before muttering, “No, something stronger,” to himself, then flicked the kettle off. He reached into the fridge to pull out a bottle of wine.

For most people, wine is probably not considered “something stronger,” she thought to herself. But she wasn't a big drinker, so wine was plenty strong for her. Had it been Katie, her sister, or Mary, her best friend, a bottle of vodka would have been more appropriate. Maybe even more than one.

Josh opened the bottle and poured two huge glasses before returning what little was left in the bottle to the fridge. He kept quiet, waiting for her to talk, knowing that her thoughts would be all jumbled and that she would need time to process before telling him the rest of the story. So they just sat there, sipping their wine in the kind of comfortable silence that could only be born from years of friendship, until Serena began to talk.

“I’m such an i***t. Of course I was never going to be enough for him. Why the f**k did I make myself believe that a guy like that would be happy with a girl like me forever? You should have seen this other woman, Josh. I could never compare with someone like that.”

Still he kept quiet, waiting for her to continue. His only reaction was a slight lift of his eyebrows, as if she had said something surprising. Though she couldn't imagine what, so she kept venting.

“I mean, how long did I think it would be before he realized how just plain boring I am? I mean, I’ve known the guy three years. I’m actually surprised that it took him this long. I mean, f**k. We’ve been together for two years, and we haven’t even done it yet. Well, I haven’t done it. Seems he has been doing it.”

At this, Josh's mouth opened a bit, and he sucked in a quiet breath. s**t, she thought, now I've gone and made him uncomfortable. s*x was the one thing they didn't talk about. Whenever the topic came up, he always kept his mouth shut.

She had asked him about it once in all their years of friendship. Katie and Mary had been laughing over what they called their “sexploits” one rare night they had all gone out clubbing together, and the two of them had headed for the dance floor after the conversation. Josh had just sat there shaking his head. Serena had no doubt he was definitely not celibate, as she had seen him with many girls over the years, though never the same one for more than a couple of weeks. Still, he had never breathed one word about s*x to her.

His answer that night had been simple. “It's not something I want to get into with you,” he had said and stalked toward the bar, effectively ending that line of questioning.

Fast forward to however many years later, and here she was, just throwing it out there. She felt she was just excellent at f*****g things up tonight.

“Serena honey,” Josh said finally, ”I've known you for longer than I care to admit, and believe me when I say there is nothing plain or boring about you. If he couldn't even keep his d**k in his pants until you were ready, then f**k him! You can do so much better than that arrogant prick. And no, I'm not just saying that. You should be with someone who worships the ground you walk on. Not someone who throws scraps of his time at you and only wants a trophy wife for his stuffy work functions,” he fumed.

He seemed genuinely pissed off. At this realization, she let some of her own anger go and let him channel it for her. He really was a great friend.

They stayed like that for hours, talking and sipping their wine, although she cried occasionally. Eventually she texted her mom to say she was at Josh's, and that she would see them in the morning before she passed out in Josh's spare bedroom, still clad in the tiny designer dress her mother had laid out on her bed for the charity gala. It seemed like decades ago.