Finding you: A Christmas special

Four months ago: "What do you mean Caleb!?" I screamed, tears were in my eyes and I held his phone in front of him. He stared at me, "what are you doing with my phone Elena?" He asked as he reached to grab it back. I pulled my arm back, not giving it to him. "You've been cheating on me!?" I screamed, our baby in his crib, unaware of the world that he was born into. My chest hurt and my eyes burned, my throat had a huge lump and I was shaking with emotion. "Explain this, please." I was begging, but what else could I do? My entire family depended on one moment and this was it. My baby was asleep, I could see his gentle face on the monitor... "It was nothing, just someone I wanted to take out for coffee..." Caleb turned around, "A prostitute Caleb? You wanted to take a prostitute out for coffee!?" I couldn't stop screaming! "Stop lying to me! Please!" My face was streaming with tears and snot and my throat was drying up, it has been three days since I gave birth. "How could you do this to me? To our baby?" I cried harder, "you're over reacting Elena! You need to calm down." I stared at him in disbelief, overreacting? "How am I overreacting!?" "Elena, please think of Mason, he's asleep and you're causing such a disturbance it might wake him. He shouldn't be subjected to this!" Shouted Caleb, becoming increasingly irritated with me. "Disturb him? You don't think having his home broken by his father's actions will create enough disturbance for the rest of his life!?" Slap! His hand landed against my face so fast, forcing me to the ground. I clutched at my cheek, looking up at him as the tears that now fell, stung and burned my cheek. He fell beside me on the floor and took my face into his hands, "Elena, I am so sorry!" "Caleb- why?" I was defeated and then our baby started crying and I got up and went to his room to nurse, Caleb following. "If you want me gone, I'll leave..." He said, trailing off towards the end, "maybe it would be for the best." He nodded and left. As soon as he did, I felt an overwhelming sense of loss and pain in my chest. I looked at my son, how was I going to explain this to him!? I cried harder, why would Caleb do this? How could he break up our family like this? Three months ago: "What's the truth Caleb!?" I screamed as Mason cried in the other room, "What does it matter, anything I say will always be a lie to you!" He screamed, I walked away and sat with Mason, nursing him and rocking him as I sobbed some more. ~~~ "Maybe we should get a divorce," I said as I sat down next to him on the couch, "if that is what you want, I really don't want to lose you," he said as he looked at me with puffy eyes, "I truly love you Elena, and I want to work on things," he said, "how can we work on things? How do we ignore your ex and the prostitute?" I asked and I watched his jaw clench, "you're always going to hold on to the past, aren't you?" He stood up and started walking away, I followed, "for us to work on things, we both need to be honest Caleb-" He spun around, "even if I'm honest Elena, you still wouldn't believe me so what's the point!?" He snapped at me, and I took a step back. Two months ago: "So have you looked at the couple's therapists?" I asked as I nursed Mason. "I haven't gotten a chance to," he said bluntly, not looking up from his phone, I glanced at his phone but couldn't see the screen, who was he talking to? "Who are you talking to?" I asked and his eyes snapped up at me, "why do you have to be so insecure Elena!?" He shouted, standing up and knocking the glass vase over, it shattered into a million shards, some big and some tiny. Mason started crying and Caleb left, slamming the door behind him. One Month ago: "This isn't working," said Caleb as I made breakfast, "what?" I asked half paying attention, I was exhausted from Mason's sleep schedule. "We should get a divorce." I froze at his words. Divorce? There was silence between us as I tried to process what he was saying. I was trying so hard to make things work, at least for our son but it seemed like he wasn't interested in any of it. "Caleb," I started, "Elena, I filled out the divorce papers, all you have to do is sign it." His words were emotionless, "how can you be so cold?" Tears were filling my eyes, my chest hurt and I couldn't seem to breathe, "what about Mason?" I asked, "he needs you now because he is a baby and I plan on being in his life, I will come and visit as soon as I am able to." Visit?? Visit where?? "What do you mean?" I asked, he pushed the vanilla docket towards me, the heavy pen on top, "your ticket is on the inside, there is some money included, if you draw the divorce out, I will sue for custody and take Mason away. You know that I am capable of that." I cried as I picked up the pen, my hand shaking. "I thought you loved me?" I sobbed, He stood up and hugged me, providing me with temporary comfort, "I do love you Elena, I always will." Not true, if you loved me, you wouldn't have ever cheated, but those words I knew I couldn't say. He let me go and I signed the papers. A train ticket and a cheque for $20 000 inside. I was shocked as I looked at the amount he was giving me, "Caleb?" I questioned as I raised the cheque, "take it or leave it sweet heart." I felt like my entire world was crumbling on top of me. I couldn't breathe.