7. Why can't you love me
1040 Words
Celine's p.o.v
I was a happy mess, Rea was really kissing me back, her tongue was crushing mine roughly yet very gently at the same time, my hands were itching to pull out the ribbon from her hair and feel the beautiful silkiness I had been dying to touch.
She was about to pull back when I pulled her closer, trapping her in my embrace, she was way stronger than me, but she let me pull her, I didn't want her to go back to Daisy, not yet, she was mine.
She pulled back breathless and rested her forehead on mine, I closed my eyes and enjoyed the heavenly moment we shared.
"I have to go." she whispered when I opened my eyes.
"No, not yet, please." I whispered back sadly.
She slowly let me down then brushed my hair backwards.
"I know that you are my bond, and bonds are suppose to love and protect each other, not hurt each other, Celine, I really want to love and protect you, but I can't." she whispered as tears formed in my eyes.
"Hey, shh don't cry, please, not the tears." she whispered as I froze in shock.
Did she care about me? Or was she feeling pity for me?
"Why can't you love me?" I asked.
"I can't explain, but I just can't." she answered seriously.
I forced a smile on my face, she really did love Daisy very much.
I turned and walked back into the house leaving her standing alone, my vision was a little blur from the tears.
I got into my room and walked into the bathroom, I slowly knelt in front of the bathtub and picked up a razor blade.
I extended my hand slightly and took in a sharp breath when the blade was pressed on my skin.
"Do that and I swear, I will reject you with words, you will no longer be anything to me, not even a stranger, I will never ever talk or look at you, and this I promise you." Rea's voice startled me.
I dropped the blade then quickly stood up and turned to look at her.
She stood in the doorway furiously looking at my hand.
"I wanted to convince myself that you couldn't harm yourself, I really wanted to believe you wanted to live, if not for yourself then your territory." she said loudly.
"I do want to live Rea, but not for my territory, I want to live for you, I really do love you a lot even though you don't see it, I have loved you for a long time, what should I do to have your love back? you don't love or look at me the way I want you to, I feel so lonely, hurt, neglected and unloved, did you know I had kept myself pure for you? I am so weak and I have no dragon, despite being r***d and forced to bend over just to please them, I kept on living and fighting for my last breath because I had hoped you would one day look my way, and save me from all my demons, Rea you did look my way, but even though your eyes saw me, your heart was closed for me but opened for another, I have no will to live anymore." I yelled out in tears.
She angrily walked towards me, when she lifted her hand I closed my eyes waiting for her to hit me.
When I was pulled into A warm embrace, I opened my eyes and looked at her in shock.
She looked sad and very hurt, I made her feel so bad, it was all my fault.
I faked a smile and pulled back.
"Don't put my words at heart, that was all in the past, I'm now fine." I said.
She got my hand and pulled me closer then hugged me.
"You should never be used to such treatment, if you are not fine, don't say you are, if you want to yell, yell, don't ever hold back on how you feel." she said as tears rolled on my cheeks.
I was hurt, and I felt like ending my life a lot of times, having her treat me with such kindness was what I had longed for, but then again this was just out of pity.
"Don't do this Rea, I won't manage to let you go if you become this kind to me please, I don't want to hurt more than I already do, you have Daisy, so just go to her already." I cried.
She quickly pulled back as I cursed at myself, I could have held on a little longer to her, but I just had to ruin it with my stupid mouth.
"Daisy? There is nothing between Daisy and me, she is already bonded to the twins, even if she wasn't, I wouldn't choose her over you, Celine, me not wanting to love you has nothing to do with anyone." she said as I blinked in disbelief.
"But you always care for her." I said.
"Yes, because she is my female leader, that's why I care for her, Celine, you are my bond, you have all the rights to be jealous, you have all the rights to love me as much as you want, the reason why I didn't want to reject you with words was because I couldn't bring myself to hurt you, yes I don't want to be in love, but kissing you felt great, if you would be willing to love and stand by my side despite my gender and not being loved like you want in return, then I will be willing to protect and acknowledge you as my bond, I won't love you, but I will be yours, so what do you say?" She asked seriously.
I looked at my hands then at her.
Being by her side was all that I had longed for, even if she wouldn't love me, just having her next to me was enough.
"I willingly accept to be by your side Rea." I whispered softly.
She pulled me closer and kissed my head lightly.
"Great, now let's go home, together." she whispered as I smiled happily.
- Writer
