Chapter 2: ALEJANDRO, FORGIVE ME.
2014 Words
ALEJANDRO’S POV.
“The s*x doesn’t mean we are back together.” My words to Kiki reiterates in my head and I stand up from my swivel chair to pace around my study.
I am supposed to hate her. I wish I can forget how it felt when I buried myself inside her. I wish I can get rid of her voice in my head, but the saying is right. One can never forget a special woman. Kiki was different and that was why I should have avoided her, but she was like a drug to me.
“You are not drunk anymore. Neither of us is.” Her words continue to reiterate and I ball my hand into a fist as I move to get a bottle of beer.
A knock on the door distracts and me, just right before I let whosoever is at the door in; Lucy steps in and I move to sit as she walks in further.
“I would like a glass too.” She says as she sits and I look at her.
“Grab one.” I reply nonchalantly and she sighs.
“To the very end you still do not love me.” She comments as she moves to get a glass for herself.
Sitting back, she grabs my beer bottle and fill her glass half way before smiling. Anyone can tell the smile isn’t a happy one as it doesn’t get to her eyes. Of course she has had a lot of drama happen in her life in the last few weeks. Finding out her parents aren’t her biological ones and her birth mother dying right before she can say the words on her mind to her because of the reason why I could never love her like I had in the past.
“I still remember the days where I could call for you once and you will come running to me to take me away from my toxic parents which I recently found out weren’t my real parents. I know this won’t change anything, but I regret ever cheating on you back then with Lorenzo cause I lost you forever. I only did it back then because I was drunk and bitter. You had left for some weeks to manage some businesses and he was there; he comforted me and took advantage of the fact that I was too drunk.” She says and lift the glass of beer off the desk.
“It is all in the past now.” I reply and gulp down the rest of the beer in the glass at once.
“To you it might all be in the past now, but to me they are memories I can never forget. Memories that never leave me, that hurt and make me sad but it is really in the past now. You know I wish I could tell the woman who left me to my foster parents how much pain and betrayal I felt when I found out I had a twin sister I never got to meet and a brother I had always wished I had to protect me. I wanted to ask her why she gave me to them and let me grow up this broken. Now, I think I was really born to feel pain and live in the background of everyone’s life like the second main lead in the movies who never gets the love and attention he or she deserves despite the love the second main lead have for the main leads and the efforts shown.” she refills her glass, this time to the brim and I watch her eyes get teary.
“Lucy…”
“I know you hated me and you felt like I was imposed on you by your mom and my foster parents. I had let myself act like a spoilt brat who felt like she could do whatever she wants cause of her parents wealth. I had let my pains get into my head. I had hurt Kiki many times without thinking I would hurt you too. I was and still very different from Kiki and it made me somewhat jealous. She also grew away from her parents, but she was so different from me and had the man I love the most and when you two separated and there was a need for me to return, I had imagined our contracted relationship would turn into some real love again; like those contract romance novels but again fictions are really fictions and I can never match up to Kiki. Now, you think I am so drunk and that’s why I have so many confessions, but I am not drunk. You remember I have quite the resistance.” She attests and move her glass to her lips to fill her glass again.
“Your limit is the fourth glass.” I tell her as she places down the bottle and she smiles as she brush her fingers through her hair.
“Thank you for letting me know you still remember somethings about me. The night is long and our friends are out, so we have tonight to get drunk.” She whispers and sniff to hold back her tears.
She is right. I have held on to Kiki for so long. Lucy was my first love and she might have her differences and behaviors that resulted to my hate for her, but she has been there for me even when I couldn’t reciprocate her love. The last few years, Kiki has left me, moved on and even got engaged to her boss and here I am still thinking about her when there is someone who I can love like I used to love in the past is right in front of me.
Lucy,has stayed somewhat celibate and loyal to me during the contracted period and as she has said; she did so with hopes that as we two stay together we will get to love each other again, but Kiki’s dresses are still in my wardrobe. My shirts that used to look like a gown on her are still in my closet and her ring is still very sentimental to me.
When I saw her again, I almost went to her and when she pulled the trigger at Martins; I felt guilty for changing her so much. If she hadn’t met someone like me, she would most probably not have killed someone. But! When she came into my room drunk I was also drunk, but not drunk to unconsciousness I felt my heart elate. When our lips met, all the memories of our kisses swept back to head. Her tongue against mine tasted the same as before and her tears that met my thumb warmed my nails.
Her body against mine feels perfect and her voice soothed me.
“Hey Devil, I am here.” Lucy snaps me back to reality and I raise my glass.
“Cheers to the long night.” I say and she clinks her glass with mine.
“Cheers to all the words I still have to say.” She replies and we both move the glass to our lips.
I still miss her.
“Colton and Kiki broke off their engagement, it is top one on France entertainment news page.” She says as she unlocks her phone and pass it to me.
Kiki’s beautiful portrait attracts me and I shift my gaze to the headline.
‘France most anticipated couple breaks up, no reasons known yet.’ I read and I look at Lucy whose gaze is fixated on my face.
“If she has ended things with Colton, then you can get your woman back.” She finally speaks.
I might feel attached to Kiki, but one thing I would never do again is to beg to take her back or attempt to make her mine again.
“What if I want you instead?”
“No. You do not. You know what you want, you think of what you want everyday and you still have things that remind you of her. One opportunity she had that I never had was having your child. Even though you both lost your child, the connection between you both is undeniable. You know the way our friend group is, I heard you two had a thing the last night we stayed in the hotel in France.” She tells me and I shake my head.
“I can love you, you can make me love you.” I argue.
“I have, I tried my best, I have been here but you never once could feel what you felt for Kiki for me cause she is the one for you. You may not believe in soulmates and love anymore but she seems to be your soulmate. You do not want me and you can never love me, even if you try cause if you get rid of her you would have few months after she left you.”
“Can we not talk about her?” I request and she shakes her head.
“I think I found someone.” She tells me and from her slight slur I can tell she is becoming drunk.
“Do you love that someone?”
“Alejandro, I am leaving for France.” She starts.
“I have decided to leave for France and I hope you respect my choice. Tell my dad that I am not sorry for taking an extra two thousand dollars because he at least owes me that. When Joe and Mike wakes up tell them I am grateful for everything they did for me. At first, I wanted to leave a written note for you but I thought not… you deserve more. Be happy please and move on. I loved you and I will always love you.” Kiki’s words returns to my memory.
“It’s France for you too?” I ask.
“I am sorry I remind you of her. I know how hard you tried to forget her. As a good friend come and join me in packing my stuffs. I will leave with just my clothes and cosmetics, you can sell out my house. Put it up for sale and when you have finally sold it, you can transfer it to your account.” She says and stand to leave.
Standing too, I walk out after her and she heads towards her room. Dragging out her trolley bags as soon she gets into her room, I move to help her. Her hand touches mine and we both stare into each others eyes until I am stroking her cheeks. She shuts her eyes and as soon as my lips touch hers, I feel her tears wet my thumb.
“Alejandro…” She whispers and another lone tear drops on my hand.
“Let it flow.” I whisper and connect my lips with hers again.
Sucking her upper lip, she sucks my bottom lip and I secure her body to mine with my right hand as her hand moves over my chest as we deepen the kiss.
“Alejandro,forgive me.” She whimpers and I let go of her waist.
“For what?”
“Let’s just stop.” She says and move away from me.
She opens her closet and takeoff at least six of her clothes from the hanger, she dumps it into the opened trolley bag. Holding onto her hand, I stop her from moving and pull her close to me.
“What’s wrong? Tell me why you asked me to forgive you.” I speak softly and she lets out a shaky breath.
“That’s the look in your eyes. The cold stare you give to those you have killed right before killing them.” She is whimpering.
“Lucy, talk.”
“I tampered with the stocks you blamed Marco for cause I wanted to compensate myself, I am sorry.” As soon the words hits my ears, I let go of her.
- Writer
