unbought truly loved

Altamira I was so spent after the funeral mass . The skies were dark , the air thin. I was disgusted to be at the cemetery . Everyone had left except for myself . "it's just you and I ",I said. Staring at then tombstone with pure disgust and anger , " Cassandra Spear sunrise 1996 sunset- 2019 " "Now am all alone , you were the last one . "I said. Her grave was fresh , the soil darker than the sky . Once again the cemetery boasted of a newcomer a wasted life. She's no more . "what were you thinking through that stupid brain of yours , " I muttered angrily. " now look at you , cold in a coffin , goodness Cassandra why did you take those drugs , why did you ruin your life ?You came from rehab two days before . Was it so hard for you to sober up! "I said . " you know what , you got what you always wanted a peace of mind "I said Cassy is my twin sister. We lost our mom before we met her. She died while giving birth to us , specifically when she was pushing Cassie , the doctors had asked her to choose one child to be aborted or she keeps on going she choose the baby , right after pushing Cassie she had a hemorrhage , the doctors could not stop the bleeding and that's how she passed away . She gave her life for Cassie it's so sad my twin sister lived her life so recklessly . Well that's the story I was told as to how my mom died but the truth is she was a crack w***e ,she loved to skii , the white powder was like her best friend , she was so devoted to sniffing it and feeling so good The sweet old take was just a sugar coat people say so kids don't get traumatized thinking their mommy was a wonder woman . My dad well , he's a great deadbeat . I have never seen him or met him at a personal level where we have a cup of coffee and chat about how school was ,he managed to hack into my bank account and drew everything ,I was so dry yet I had debts to pay , arrears to clear and ofcourse a few of the peddlers my sister owed money to . I heard quite a lot about him and it's anything but good . He's a heavy drinker and a gambling addict a womanizer and involved with some drug cartels something like that . Anything he can sell to gamble he will sell . I sometimes think he sold one of his organs either his brain or his kidney. But am starting to believe it's his brain . "this is the last straw for you dear twin , you lived like dirt and now you are dead on the dirt . Ronny is alive , he didn't even come to your funeral . He called you a crack w***e . I always told you to never comfort yourself with someone but you just never listened "I said I wore my gloves . " Rest in peace dear twin sister ", I said. Cassie was a drug addict. She was on and off rehab. This all began in highschool she choose the wrong company simply because she wanted to fit in and be like other girls , she was introduced to crack , the did weed ,molly , purple sprite , list goes on and on , I wasn't even ashamed of writing it on her obituary that she died from Heroine overdose and how she used to use those drugs , I authorized her pictures to he used in rehab centers as a warning to anyone using drugs . I spent all my money from the pathetic job at the strip club so I could pay for her rehabilitation due to smoking crystal meth her teeth rotted out , I booked her a dental appointment to have her teeth removed and new one fixed , she got new teeth but stuck to her habits which was getting out of hand . I don't really hate stripping what I hate us the fact that I am working so hard for someone that's puffing cocaine like showers of blessings. I Stripping has been something I love doing who cares about standards , the society should stop judging women by their careers. Just like everyone else we gotta pay taxes , take kids to school and bring food in the table. Enough with the lame pep talk . Oh yeah back to Cassandra... She was really cunning. She would play her cards so well and manage to convince the rehab center to release her . She was very seductive that she was nicknamed cleopatra. She knew how to fake it she would get a golden globe without a sweat . She would pretend to have changed ,I would be so happy that the rehab came through but I was so wrong she would secretly drift back to doing drugs as she would lie to me she went to church for a fellowship. When I would demand for a drug test she had well hidden pee of friends that don't use drugs and use that pee to decieve me into thinking she was clean and doing well ,then would fall back when I wasn't looking . I enrolled her to a private rehabilitation center it was not cheap .It cost about 2000$per month I haven't added accomodation, food , clothing and counseling services . It was known to have helped celebrities get back on their feet after months or even years of drug and substance abuse , very confident that if it worked in someone else it would definately work on Cassie . Just because someone else got better doesn't mean Cassie would ,her mind was made up it was drugs all the way . That too as you would expect didn't work. She left me paying a hefty loan I took to enroll her into rehab. Cassy was in and out of jail like it was a public restroom . I wasn't surprised to get calls that she was found at house party taking drugs or selling drugs or even obtaining drugs. Drugs were her life ,she ate them drunk them., breathed them. Her world was just drugs heroine and cocaine in particular. I feared that someday I will indeed get a call and this time it will not be to go pick her from the station but to identify her body ,I had that feeling but I choose accept for what is to come to come . And as I feared ,it did come to reality .. One fateful day I got a call while I was dancing on the stripper pole . It came from an unknown number ,which didn't surprise me knowing damn well it could be Cassie at the police station calling if. I could bail her out .As many times as I promised myself I wouldn't bail her I found myself doing so. She is my twin sister I had to take care of her . I was called to head down to the station. I asked for an off and left to station .When I got there was no Cassie. Instead I was escorted to the Sheriff's office. That's when I was told that Cassie was found dead in an apartment, cause of death ... heroine. He showed me the first responders pictures , Cassie laid on the floor foam covering her mouth ,her gorgeous blue eyes as open as day .Her body stiff as wood . I identified her body even when I knew it was her, I don’t get this morgue protocols. I hated the choices she made .Her friends are all alive as well as her beloved boyfriend . They never came to her funeral. Only a few members of the church came . I walked back to my car and coughed the engine to life. My phone rang . I huffed hoping it's not more of the condolences messages .I have gotten so many from strangers , am not saying am ungrateful for their support . I am not a fan of texting and replying sorry for your loss messages , their apologies wouldn't bring Cassie back to life. I knew that sooner or later she would meet her demise . I wasn't sure when . I picked my phone. " Mira , how are you doing" came Kelly's voice. " am taking things slowly trying not cope with the loss " I said . " Am really sorry about losing your twin "she said. " I will be fine ,thank your for the concern "I said " I would like to invite you to a house party to cheer you up a little .My cousin is turning eighteen I would love it if you came "she said. " am not sure if am in the mood for a party right now "I said. " oh stop it Mira, Tyler would want you to attend ,come on please "she said Knowing damn well if I said no she will keep bugging me . "okay fine then I will come to your party " I said She giggled excitedly. " see you at seven , look like the hottest doll .",she said. "I will " I replied . Since I was grieving my manager had allowed me to have a day off .I was allowed to report the next day . I really needed the day off ,to take in the loss of Cassie that now things will be very different without her . Getting used to that feeling us not a walk in tbe park , before her funeral ,I would randomly wake up in the middle of the night to confirm if Cassie came home , then I remember sadly she's in the morgue , sometimes u would call one of her junkie friends if she is still there and can drive home only for them to tell me. She's dead . Kelly's party may be useful to me especially at this time . I had one more look at Cassie's grave at a distance from my car before driving away. I hope she sobered up in purgatory.