BRIANNA

11. WHAT DO I LACK?

JC'S POV

As soon as I got home, I made a beeline for the shower, hoping that the cold water would do something—anything—to snap me out of the haze I’d been stuck in for hours. The icy blast against my skin was supposed to help, supposed to shock me back to reality, but instead, all it did was remind me of how little control I had over my own mind right now.

The water cascaded down, but it wasn’t enough. It didn’t wash away the thoughts, the images, the way my body reacted when I thought about her. Brianna. Her name was like a trigger, lighting up something in me I didn’t even know existed. Every time I thought I had her out of my system, she found her way back in, invading my thoughts like some kind of addiction I couldn’t kick. What the hell is wrong with me? I can’t stop thinking about her, and it’s driving me insane.

I leaned my head against the cold tiles, letting the water soak through my hair and drip down my face, but no amount of cold could cool down what was raging inside of me. It wasn’t just physical, though God knows I’ve had my fair share of girls before—plenty of them, actually—but this? This was something else entirely. None of them had ever stayed in my head the way Brianna does, like she’s embedded herself somewhere deep, somewhere I can’t reach to pull her out.

And the craziest part? I haven’t even touched her. Not in the way that matters, at least. I haven’t kissed her, haven’t laid a hand on her, and yet she’s all I can think about. It's no secret that I’ve been with girls before—beautiful ones, too—but none of them has ever managed to get this far under my skin. They come, they go, and I move on. But Brianna? She’s different. And it’s driving me crazy because I can’t figure out why.

I closed my eyes, letting the water run over me, but it didn’t help. The more I tried to shake her from my mind, the more vivid the thoughts became. Her face was etched into my brain, her smile—the kind that lights up a room, like she doesn’t even realize the effect she has—playing on repeat in my head. There’s something about her, something beyond the surface that keeps me hooked, even though I barely know her.

Sure, she’s beautiful—gorgeous, actually, with her deep eyes and that body that seems designed to make guys like me lose all sense of control—but that’s not it. I’ve met plenty of beautiful girls before. Hell, half the girls in school look like they stepped out of a magazine, but Brianna? She’s… I don’t know. Maybe it’s the way she carries herself, like she doesn’t need anyone’s approval, like she’s perfectly fine on her own, but still, there’s this vulnerability that draws me in.

But the thing that’s really messing with me? It’s the way I’m reacting to her. I’m not the kind of guy who obsesses over girls. I get what I want, and I move on. Simple as that. But with her, it’s like my brain can’t stop replaying every moment I’ve seen her, every word she’s said, every look she’s given. And that mouth of hers… God, that smart mouth.

She’s sharp, quick-witted, not afraid to speak her mind, and I can’t help but wonder what it would feel like to kiss her, to taste those words before she can even get them out. The way she talks back, the way she stands her ground—it’s like a challenge, and I’ve never been one to back down from a challenge.

I turned the water off, frustrated that the shower hadn’t done what I needed it to do. I stepped out, grabbed a towel and ran it roughly through my hair. I stared at my reflection in the mirror, trying to get a grip on myself, trying to convince myself that I could just let this go. But who was I kidding? Even now, with my skin still damp and my muscles tense, I could feel the pull. I couldn’t stop picturing what it would be like to lay my hands on her, to touch that smooth, perfect skin, to see if it felt as soft as it looked. My hands tightened around the towel as I imagined running my fingers through her hair, pulling her closer, and feeling the warmth of her body against mine.

And it wasn’t just about her looks—though those alone were enough to drive any guy wild—it was her. Everything about her. The way she carried herself, the way she seemed so grounded despite everything. The way she didn’t seem to care about all the superficial crap that most girls at school were obsessed with. Brianna wasn’t like them. She didn't look like the girl who's constantly on social media, posting pictures of herself in designer clothes or angling for attention. She was real. And I think that’s what scared me the most.

As I tossed the towel aside and pulled on a pair of sweatpants, I found myself wondering what it would be like to see her again, to actually talk to her instead of just watching from a distance like I had been. Would she even be interested in a guy like me? I wasn’t sure, but that didn’t stop me from wanting her.

Fuck! I need to stop thinking about her before I embarrass myself any further. This isn’t me. This is not Jacob Charles at all. I’m the guy who never gets hung up on anyone. I’m the one who keeps his cool, who’s always in control. But right now, it feels like I’m spiralling, and it’s all because of one girl—one damn girl who’s managed to do what no one else has ever done. I can’t let this keep happening. I need a distraction, something to get her out of my head because if I don’t, I’ll drive myself crazy with thoughts of her. I stood there for a moment, running my hands through my damp hair, trying to pull myself together.

My mind went straight to the party. Yeah, that’s it. The party. Plenty of girls, plenty of distractions. It’s the perfect opportunity to shake this off. All I need to do is lose myself in the music, the crowd, and the energy. Maybe if I focus on that, Brianna will finally stop haunting me.

With that decision made, I pulled myself together and threw on something decent—nothing fancy, but enough to blend into the party scene without looking like I was trying too hard. Preparing for the night ahead helped take the edge off, at least a little. But no matter how much I tried to distract myself, I could still feel her presence lingering in the back of my mind, like an itch I couldn’t quite scratch.

Shaking my head, I made my way downstairs, determined to get out of my own head. I was halfway down when I came face to face with Paige, my sister, who looked like she was about to explode. Great. Just what I needed. I braced myself as she stormed past me and plopped down on the couch, arms crossed, her face twisted in fury.

"I'm done with men!" she practically shouted, her voice dripping with frustration. "Like, what the f**k?!"

I groaned internally, knowing full well that whatever had her riled up was about to become my problem. The last thing I needed right now was to hear my sister’s rant about guys, but there was no escaping it. Not when she was like this. I could feel the tension rolling off her in waves. She was pissed, and when Paige got pissed, there was no stopping the flood of emotions that came with it.

"Tell me, Jay," she continued, her eyes narrowing as she turned her frustration towards me, "is there something wrong with me? Like when you really look at me, do you think something is missing?"

What the hell was she talking about? I stopped mid-stride, caught completely off guard by the question. Paige was far from insecure. In fact, she was one of the most confident people I knew, so hearing her doubt herself like this was weird. I opened my mouth to say something, but before I could, she hit me with another question.

"Just pretend that I’m not your little sister for a second," she demanded, her voice tinged with desperation. "Pretend I’m just a girl you go to school with. Do I look like someone you would date?"

I blinked, utterly thrown by the direction this conversation was taking. My mind immediately flashed back to a girl I couldn’t stop thinking about—a girl who had been dominating my thoughts all day. Brianna. Her smile, her eyes, the way she seemed so effortlessly perfect. It took me a second to realize I was smiling, lost in thoughts of her, and not paying attention to the fact that Paige was still waiting for an answer. s**t.

"Of course I would," I replied automatically, my mind still half-focused on Brianna. "You’re perfect."

Paige’s eyebrows shot up, her expression shifting from frustration to confusion. "Are you even talking about me right now?" she asked, her voice a mix of disbelief and annoyance. "Jay, this is serious. I need you to focus."

"Why don't you tell me what happened?" I asked, trying to sound calm, even though inside I was reeling from what Paige had just said. I needed to understand where all of this was coming from because this sudden outburst didn’t make sense without context. Paige wasn’t one to freak out without reason, and if she was this upset, it had to be something big.

She sighed heavily, her frustration evident in the way she crossed her arms and leaned back against the couch. "I met this new guy at school," she began, her voice a mix of anger and confusion. "He asked me out, and I agreed. Everything was going great—like, really great—until today. I saw him with another girl." She looked at me, her expression a blend of disbelief and hurt. "That’s not even the worst part. The worst part is... I’m more beautiful than she is. Younger too. I just don’t get it. I don’t understand why he would leave me for her. What do I lack?"

There it was, the real issue. It wasn’t just about being dumped; it was the blow to her confidence. Paige, who was always so sure of herself, now sat here doubting her worth because of some guy. My chest tightened, half in anger for what that asshole had done to her, and half because I hated seeing her like this. But before I could say anything to console her, my brain latched onto something else she said, something that made my blood run cold.

"How old is this guy?" I asked, the hairs on the back of my neck standing up in anticipation of an answer I knew I wouldn’t like.

"He’s 24," she replied nonchalantly as if it were no big deal. "And I think that girl is maybe 17 or 18, I don’t know."

What the f**k? What. The. Actual. f**k. "What the f**k!" The words exploded out of me before I could stop them. I was on my feet in an instant, pacing the room as the shock and anger surged through me. "Paige, what the hell are you doing with a guy who's 24 when you're only 16?" My voice was louder than I intended, but I couldn’t control it. I felt like my brain was short-circuiting, like the world had suddenly tilted off its axis. "Who is this guy? Someone, please, tell me that I am dreaming—that my little sister is not dating someone older than me!"

Paige rolled her eyes, clearly not appreciating my reaction. "I didn’t tell you this so you could judge me, okay? I just wanted your advice." Her voice rose defensively, her arms crossing even tighter across her chest. "And you have no right to judge me. You’re worse."