My Cursed Alpha

I was late

I pulled up my pants and turned myself around, as he zipped himself back up, and headed to bed. I had been looking down the entire time, counting in my head from Z to A. Something I would do that helped me not to think anything.

'Please use protection, Please, we aren't even married yet'

I had begged as he had pulled down my undergarments and he had quickly placed his hand over my mouth, to make me silent? to not hear my voice? I didn't know.

'Take the pill', He said from the bedroom, and I nodded my head knowing that he couldn't see me at all.

'I like how you have the confidence to wear sexy clothes with this cute chubby belly', He had said again, as he was lowering his pants and moving his hand over my body.

Every inch of my body had screamed to move away, but my mind had tried to rationalise saying that he was complementing me and he wanted me.

'Don't take off work like you did last time. You don't have your periods, I don't know why you were acting so bitchy'

I nodded again. Even though I was in pain, I tried to deviate my mind. I wanted to clean myself up as soon as I could, but there were dishes I had to do.

He had told us not to get a maid since we didn't have enough cash, and I would do them everyday after coming from work, but today he had told me that we would be going out to eat, so I couldn't.

By the time, I was done with the dishes, I noticed that he had fallen asleep, occupying the whole bed.

I looked at the sofa, and knew that just like the other nights when he didn't wish to sleep with me, today would also be the same.

I had taken the pill and had decided against the idea of taking a shower this late at night. If I get sick, who knows what would happen to the house. There was no one to clean, cook or do the dishes.

.

.

.

.

'I am going to work, and would be late today, they are laying off employees in my office and God knows what would happen if I get fired, who would look after you'

You weren't looking after me. I wanted to say, but just smiled and waved, handing him the lunch I had made for him.

'I hope you had put enough sugar unlike last time. I don't know how many times you would embarrass me in front of my colleagues.' He placed a kiss on my cheek as if he had not just insulted me and then patted me on my backside.

I almost flinched and jumped from the touch. After last night, I hadn't felt like being touched for a while, but I didn't react a bit.

My eyes went to the calendar and I felt like someone had stabbed my chest hard.

My period was late. I should have gotten them this week, but...I hadn't realised it at all.

It might be late due to the pill, or the stress or...or something else. The panic in my body was rising as I thought about the worst outcome of all, counting all the times I had felt weak and sore and cramps for no reason, even a bit nauseous in the mornings.

But I had been careful, only me, not him at all, but I had. I repeated it in my head over and over again and quickly picked up my purse and wore a shawl above my dress.

I could be late to work, but I need to go to the doctor first. This shouldn't be happening. He would...he would kill me, or worse.

The drive could have been hours long or it felt like that. The clinic wasn't much far, but it felt like an eternity.

I had told him again and again, to use protection, but he has silenced me every time he did it, not caring about the toll the pill was taking on me every day.

My head was in my hands as I waited for my turn in the clinic. I could feel curious looks coming from all sorts of women, the one working in the hospital and even the patients.

I was pretty young to be there, and no one cared if I had any other problem, they would only suspect one thing, the same thing I was tensed about.

The form reads 'unmarried' and another judging glance from the receptionist. My fingers tightened the shawl I had worn.

Everyone was with their partners and there I was sitting alone, at the age of 19, lost and praying that everything was well.

'Its probably stress, and over work, but you shouldn't be taking too many pills at this age, it could harm you a lot'

I didn't know how to tell the doctor about my conditions. I just posted a fake smile and thanked her as I stepped out.

The Results were negative, and the time taken for them had made me age 5+ years.

The day I realised how alone I was. There was no one whom I could have talked with about my scare or came along with. The hours I sat in the clinic, the anticipation, the fear, everything added to the fact that, no one was coming for me.

With a little hope, I texted him

'My periods were late so I did a text, it's negative, nothing to worry about'

'WHAT THE HELL?'

'If they are negative why are you texting me and increasing my stress, don't you know that I am already over burdened'

I held the phone in my hand tight, and quickly wiped off the tear falling from the side of my eye.

'Keep your tensions upto you only, and I don't think that I released inside you. I am more careful with these things'

He had, a couple of times, I had remembered and had taken pills.

'Be more responsible from now on'

I didn't bother to text back or say anything, it was out of the question that he would understand what I was going through.

Reaching back home, I dropped a sick leave mail and crashed on the couch again.

I would be more responsible.