Blood & Pain: My mafia brothers

Shouka's p.o.v. I am suffocating inside a closed cozy room. In front of me, there was a man, I had known since I was a kid...his penetrating blue eyes inspecting my emotionless face, a blue pen pressed between his lips that he is chewing like a toddler. Geez. I am turning eighteen tomorrow, and still, I am more mature than this old man. He is smiling at me right now, " So, how are you feeling, Shouka." I looked away and stared outside from the window instead. There is no snow anymore...just leaves coated with water droplets and roads filled with puddles of water. Spring is finally here. I sighed, " Fine, I guess." " You know I won't be able to help you if you won't let me." Help me?! I scoffed as I looked back at the old man, making sure to hide my clenched knuckles under the wooden desk dividing us. I don't want him to know how angry I am. There is no point. " You want to help, Uncle Francis?", I raised my brow, not even ashamed to taunt him. " Doctor.", he gave me a stern look and put his pen on the cold brown desk, " I am your doctor now." He is my therapist. But whatever. " Okay...", I leaned over my chair now and looked straight into his ocean eyes. " So, Doctor Francis...do you really wanna help me? Do you think you can help me?" I am the only daughter of the Russian Don. The only sister of the most wanted criminals; the triplet Italian mafia bosses. There is no one alive who can help me. " Yes, I can. Tell me what's wrong, Shouka?" I wanna laugh. " Stop them." My life is ruined. It wasn't like it was perfect before but I somehow made it happier. I was homeschooled since I was a kid. I had no friends. No freedom. Nothing to live for. But, five years ago...when my kind loving brothers left to become the most ruthless monsters... My papa, he suddenly allowed me to join school and live my life like a normal teenager. I was thirteen at that time. And since then...my life has been as perfect as it can get. I have three best friends, Stella, Stony and Gianna. And yeah, also my bodyguard Dominick. I think he is more than a friend to me. He is family. So, I have friends, I don't do ballet inside a closed room anymore, I perform whenever I can. Also, next week... I am starting college. A medical student. Surgeon to be precise. The youngest one the country has ever seen. My life has been so perfect... until last week, when my brother Zero told me about our other three brothers...the triplets, they are coming back for my eighteenth birthday tomorrow. And not just to visit, but for good. Forever. Those three never even talked to me all these years. I was sure they had forgotten the weird sister they left behind. And now suddenly, they are coming back. Why? I don't need them now. They left without a goodbye. They left to become what I loathed the most. Even though I hadn't seen them for five years, I could still tell they weren't the same. I honestly don't want another criminal in my life. My breathing is getting painful, and I know I should control my emotions. Not good for my anxiety. But it's not in my control anymore. Just like I have no control over my life. " S..stop them from coming..." I watched as Uncle Francis noted down something in his diary. That's what this old man wanted. To open up my brain like some kind of experiment. If I ever get enough courage, he will be the first person I will kill. His gaze shifted up at me again, " Stop who, Shouka?" " My brothers from coming back here...", I am shouting right now. This man is the only person who makes me act this way. Bastard. I glared at his pretty wrinkled face, " They are not even my real brothers, why are they coming back..." It was cruel. So damn cruel for me to say that. Felix, Knox, and Rome...they are the sons of Roman Moretti, the old Italian mafia boss. He was my Papa's adopted brother and his best friend. After Uncle Roman was killed by his own twin, my papa took his sons in, raised them like his own. Even though they are not my blood family, all three of them loved me more than my own brother. And Rome, he practically raised me like a father even though he himself was a kid. I was three when Mamma left, he was eleven. I can guess how hard it must be for him to be responsible for a toddler. But Rome...even Felix and Knox, they loved me like a parent, loved me like a brother. They were so kind...so perfect. My family. My everything. So yeah, I know it was cruel of me to say such a thing. But I am angry. So damn angry. They left without a goodbye. Without any explanation. They left to do a thing they promised they would never do. They promised me that they would never become like Papa, so why had they left for training? Why did they become the triplet mafia bosses?! I don't want them anywhere near me anymore. I don't want to accept it, but I am kinda scared of them. " Shouka!", Francis sighed, looking at me with those gentle blue eyes that used to calm me when I was a kid. They stopped working a long time ago. Nothing works anymore. " You know your father loves all of you equally. Blood or not, they are your siblings...just like Zero." " Don Dane never does anything fair. He never loved us equally.", I huffed, standing and picking up my purple bag from the empty chair next to me. This is enough therapy for today. I need to leave. Now. " He never even loved me. I was just a nuisance for him. Unwanted baggage to protect..." I should stop my blabbering, really. " He is your father." Fuck my father. He is a criminal. The only memories I have of him are of killing and torturing people...and he was even enjoying doing that. He is no father. Don Dane is a monster. No wonder Mamma left him for another man. Roberto was also a criminal though, Papa's right-hand man. But I am sure he must have been more of a human than Don Dane. " Shouka..." I stopped near the door when I heard Francis calling me from behind. Taking a deep breath, I gave him a last glance. " Time is up, Uncle." He glanced at the wall clock which was showing one pm. Time is indeed up. Shaking his head, he ruffled a hand through his greyish-brown hair. " At least, try that exercise...when you have your sleep paralysis attacks again. Remember what I told you to do." " I will try." I won't. Or maybe I will. I am not sure. It's not gonna work anyway. Nothing will work. My life is f****d. Without uttering even more rubbish, I turned around and left his office...and then his house. Unlike his other patients, I don't have to visit his clinic. I have my sessions in his cabin...that's not too far from my lake house. Merely a walking distance. But still, guards had to follow me around and I had to stay inside a bullet-proof car that's waiting right in front of me now. Always on time. Sighing, I walked toward it. It's parked near the fish pond. Five of the guards around it with their Range Rover. Mine is some pink sports car I have no idea what its name is. I guess Knox sent it for me last year...but he never talked to me all these years. So I can only hope. And... I don't care anyway. Ugh. Actually, I do. I do care about cars and other expensive things. I am a teenager after all. I... just don't want to sound ungrateful or anything. I know I have been lucky to have food and shelter. Kids my age...even younger than me are dying with hunger. I know. How lucky I am. It's just...I am so tired of all this...this fake life. Always pretending. Always acting like we aren't the bad guys. When my family is the worst. The reason for half of the bad things that are happening in the world... If staying in a family of criminals is a stroke of luck, then I would have preferred a lick of curse instead. " How was your session, miss." I smiled at the guard who asked me that, " It was nice." He smiled back, nodded his head, and leaned over his black car again. A single look at his handsome face, and anyone would never guess that this man killed a person just by choking him between his bicep. But he did. I was right next to him when that happened. I am not blaming him or anything. I also knew about his past and what he had suffered as a kid... But again, that doesn't mean what he does now for my Papa is any good. But who am I to judge anyone? I am the daughter of that monster...and deep down, I am just like him. Shrugging those thoughts away, I stepped towards my car. Dominik was going to open the door for me, but I did it on my own and settled in the passenger seat instead of the back. His green eyes glanced at other guards...dummy is probably scared that others will report him to my papa that he has been unprofessional, again. I sighed, " Let's visit the streets again, Dominick." His eyes snapped at me, " It's not safe in daylight, miss." I only have to pout to melt this giant. He shook his head, walking towards other guards now. " Let me see what I can do." Yay. Grinning I watched as he talked to the guards, probably giving them some kind of excuse to take me alone with him. Finally some freedom. Dominick is the best. He had known me since I was five, I guess...he was thirteen when I found him in a cell next to me. I was kidnapped...he was the oldest son of the man who kidnapped me. It was a long story... I was saved obviously, and Papa took Dominick as revenge for kidnapping me. And since then he is been my bodyguard. But he is more of a family... He often said I saved him from the life he's been suffering. I don't think that way, I think I just trapped him in a golden cage instead of that metal cell. Nothing more. I couldn't stop my smile when Dominick sat next to me in the driver's seat after those other guards left. He gave a side glance to me as he started the engine, " You know I will be the one responsible if something happens to you, Shouka." I stretched my body as I yawned, " I won't let anything happen to me or you." That earned me a chuckle, " Somehow I trust you, little queen." Dominick knew where I wanted to go. So I don't need to tell him the direction. We usually visit that area...the poor side of the town. The place where my family committed its crime. I have no business going there. But... I like treating people. Even though my papa killed more people than anyone can count. I wanna save as much as that. I wanna become a doctor. And I know it's not ethical to treat people without a proper license. And I am not even eighteen yet. But, I don't think anyone there cares about ethics. It's Dominick and my little secret. Honestly, I don't know why I even do that. I guess... I just wanna see if this can make me happy. Helping people. And it does. It makes me so happy. " You have your kit with you, Shouka?", Dominick asked as our car turned towards downtown. I nodded my head as I watched the dirty streets pass by, " Yeah, in my bag." We drove in silence after that. Not even music was needed when we were together. It's just so peaceful. I used to feel this same with my brothers, the ones who left me. Sometimes, I missed them. Sometimes... I imagine them here with us. How good it would have been...how happy. But now when they are really coming back tomorrow, all I want is for them to stay away from me. So far away that not even their shadows can reach me.