Grateful for You

Grateful for You By J.D. Walker “It’s time to come home, Jared. You’ve been gone long enough.” Mom called me at least once a week for a chat, but this was the first time she’d asked me to return to the family farm. “You know I can’t do that.” She sighed. “Can’t or won’t?” “Does it matter?” I asked as I leaned back against the brick wall of the restaurant where I worked the evening shift as a cook. “My coming home won’t change what Walt did.” “Have you considered that Walt did what he did to get your attention?” I scoffed. “What? No! He couldn’t stand the pressure of being out and proud, so he took the coward’s way out.” “And you know this for certain because you took the time to talk to him after the incident, right? Wasn’t it you who left home a week later without speaking to him, not even once? You’re the coward here.” I took a drag off my cigarette before responding. “Whose side are you on, anyway?” I was surprised and annoyed at the direction our conversation had taken. Mom had never been this adamant before. “You’re being stubborn, and there’s always two sides to every issue,” she replied. “You didn’t even give him a chance to explain, which means you were expecting something to happen all along. Why, Jared?” “You don’t know what you’re talking about. And there’s no side when your lover cheats on you. Pretty cut and dried, in my mind.” I tapped the ash from the cigarette and watched it fall to the ground. “See, that’s the thing. It’s always got to be your way, according to your rules. Did it ever occur to you that there’s another way of doing things?” “Please, Mom. This—” She cut me off. “I know you, honey. You’ve been in love with Walt Schneider since you were boys. You grew up together, and your father and I raised him like one of our own. He did something stupid, sure. But there’s a reason behind it, and he deserves a chance to explain. Haven’t you pouted long enough? It’s been five years!” I crushed the cigarette under my boot heel. “Mom, I’m done with him. He made his choice. My coming back won’t change that.” “God, you’re such a stubborn little shit.” Mom had always been a swearer. “He f****d Bree Smith in our goddamn bed.” After all these years, that still made me angry. Apparently, I had a stubborn memory, too. “Look, it’s Thanksgiving week coming up. Can’t you take time off or something? They have other line cooks to replace you, right? I’d love to see you, and so would your brothers. We miss you, sweetheart. Skype, phone calls, and email aren’t enough. Come home.” “I dunno…” I did miss home more than anything, but…Walt made it hard. “Hop on Greyhound, and someone will meet you at the station. And if you don’t want to see Walt…But once you get here, I think you’ll realize how things have changed. Think of your nephews and nieces. They miss their uncle,” she wheedled. “And I’m getting old. I could die any minute.” Hardly. She was as strong as an ox. Jesus. “Mom, come on. Don’t guilt trip me into coming. That’s not fair.” “I’m your mother, and all’s fair in love and war.” “Cute. Real cute.” I rubbed a hand down my face. I would likely regret this, but it had been forever since I’d seen the farm. “I’ll be home in time for Thanksgiving, but keep Walt the hell away from me, understand?” “I love you, sweetheart. Safe trip. It’ll be good to have you here, even if it’s just for a little while.” “Love you, too.” She hung up, and I reached for another cigarette. Goddamn you, Walt Schneider. I still loved that cheating, conflicted bastard, which was why I hadn’t gone home in years. I didn’t want to cave at the sight of his perfect smile. My pride wouldn’t allow it. So what if I was sulking. I had a right, didn’t I? I would go home for a visit. I hadn’t seen my family face to face in years, so that was the official reason for my taking this trip. I needed to be over Walt, and stay over Walt, no matter what my mother envisioned for the two of us. Or what my heart whispered to me in secret.