It Will Be An Eternity Before I Forgive You (MxM)

It Will Be An Eternity Before I Forgive You Volume 1 Takano Masamune Chapter 1: Prologue *** Every time I remember his hate filled eyes I shiver… Those venomous words that slipped out his mouth while he glared at me, made me feel like I’d reached the bottom of the barrel… There was nothing left for me to do or say at that moment, all I could do was stare at him and try to memorize his handsome face that I will probably never see again… But even if he is in another body, even if he forgets who I was, even if he resents me with his entire being… In our next life we will be lovers again… and in the one after that… and every other life that follows, until our souls are completely deleted from existence, we will continue bumping into each other inevitably falling in and out of love with no clear end goal in mind… How cruel a fate it is… To live a life of insufficiency… Having to work day and night for pennies, exhausting yourself to the point where you can’t take it anymore. It was a horrible thing, a man in a pitiful situation without a way out… Desperately trying to find a way to make ends meet, with no one to rely on, no one he held dear, nor close… Though… I was no saint either, all I ever wanted was to dominate that man. To have him all to myself and no one else… I didn’t want to see him sell himself for others, I didn’t want to see him dating others, I didn’t want him to be seen by anyone… He would be only for my eyes to feast on… Only I to witness his bruised body moving up and down trying to please me. His shaking hands when he first took me in his mouth. And I would be the only one to listen to his voice as he cried out sweetly my name each time I thrust into him… I don’t know if it’s a twisted joke that fate decided to play on us but… We will never be separated, it’s been proven already… It doesn’t matter who he becomes, or who I become. Once we are reborn we inevitably meet in each life we have. Such is our destiny and neither of us can fight against it… However I wonder… why must he always meet such a cruel fate? And why must he always hate my entire existence the second he meets me? When I’m here lost in my affections… Each time he is in a different body, with a different scent, with a different voice, taste, stature, hair color, skin color, eye color, name… yet… he remains the same person I fell in love with hundreds of years ago… And he will remain the only person I’ve ever fallen in love with until now… Because… whenever I see that person I fall in love again and again and again… Whether he is to be a man or a woman… Regardless of times, regardless of our social standing, regardless of his endless hatred towards me… No one compares… and no one ever will… Such was my existence… it’s like my life’s purpose is to meet him and be separated from him in the cruelest of ways possible. As if some kind of sick joke that those above me have decided to play… As I foolishly drown in my emotions, he lives his life miserably for years before I find him, but even after I do… even after I give him all the luxuries he could ever ask for… I am met with nothing but resentment from him… Because despite how strongly I feel for him, he will never feel the same way towards me… But I still don’t know why that is… There is a single thing I remember he said to me in the first life we met in… it was a phrase that would become engraved in my memory so that I will never forget… With a voice filled with desire to kill, with his arms wrapped around my neck but applying to pressure to it, his eyes glared at me as if I was the worst being to have ever stepped foot on this earth… He said to me: “It will be an eternity before I forgive you…” I am yet to understand the meaning behind his words… Since our very first lifetime is the only one I cannot seem to fully recall… What I did to him to make him despise me so, and what he did to me to make me love him so… I have no explanation for either of them… Maybe we were never meant to meet in the first place and this is our punishment for going against the fate that was chosen for us… Maybe we are both sinners that are cursed to meet each other and ruin each other’s lives completely each time… Or maybe there is another reason for it… a special reason for us to continue meeting like this over and over again years after years, lifetime after lifetime, without a break we inevitably end up in each other’s arms one way or another… As if pulled by an invisible force… or maybe it’s the red string of fate? We can either be destined lovers or cursed spirits that are only meant to harm one another after we meet… It can be a good or a bad thing and neither of us will ever know for certain… But the thing I find truly pitiful... is the fact I am the only one that remembers all of our reincarnations… My partner on the other hand is blissfully oblivious to all of this… he may never know and that might be for the best of both of our lives… Yet… I can’t help but feel like I’m the only one that’s carrying a burden all throughout this endless cycle of life that I am forced to repeat for all eternity…