Night with Sole Regret

TIE ME XVIII

Her hands were free, so she repeatedly clenched them, and her toes were capable of curling under, but that only managed to remind her of the knot in the instep of her foot which kept her n*****s hard for some inexplicable reason.

“You’re shaking,” he said, moving to stand before her. “Don’t fight it.”

“I’m not,” she said breathlessly. She looked at him, strangely not embarrassed that he had an unfettered view of every private part of her body. She felt separate from herself. Like an observer of her own form.

“Not physically fighting it. Mentally.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“How do you feel?”

“Trapped.”

“Are you sure?” He held her gaze, his dark brown eyes intense and deep.

She couldn’t look away. “Actually, it’s more like someone else is trapped and I’m watching her with envy.”

“Are you allowing yourself to feel the ropes, Dawn?”

“I don’t know.” She honestly wasn’t sure what she feeling. She was new to this. What was she supposed to be doing? What was she missing? She tried thinking about the ropes pressed into her flesh, forcing her into a position she would never be able to hold on her own. Keeping her there. Holding her completely stationary. Can’t move. Can’t move. Suddenly, it was as if a fist reached into her chest, squeezed her heart, and robbed her lungs of air.

Kellen stepped between her thighs and held her gently so that her forehead was resting against his shoulder. His hands felt so soothing against her shoulders that she practically melted. “Don’t panic,” he whispered. “I’ve got you.”

“I’m not sure I like this.”

“Do you want me to release you?”

He’d worked so hard to tie her this way, and she felt a million times better now that he was near. “Not yet. Just hold me a while longer.”

“I probably should have tied you on your bed your first time. You would have felt more secure. More stable. I just couldn’t stop thinking about how sexy you’d look on the surface of your piano.”

“I feel secure as long as you’re close,” she whispered. She angled her face and kissed his neck. He tensed slightly, but didn’t move away. She prayed that this wasn’t one of those triggers that sent him fleeing, because once she started, rubbing her lips against his throat, nibbling, licking, sucking and kissing, she couldn’t stop. If her hands had been free, she’d be plunging them down his boxer shorts right about now. God, she wanted his c**k in her hands, her mouth, her wide open p***y. She was suddenly thankful that he’d tied her, so she wouldn’t attack him.

His ragged breathing stirred her hair. His hands went from holding her shoulders to provide comfort to massaging her breasts to provoke excitement. He kneaded them gently in his palms while she desperately sucked on his neck, his shoulder, his collarbone, wishing she could reach more of his flesh. She wanted so much more of him. When he began to rub her n*****s between his thumbs and forefingers, desire ignited deep inside her. She moaned in torment.

“Find your balance,” he said gently.

She had no idea what he meant until he started to slide down her body and she teetered forward. She leaned back slightly, catching herself on her hands.

Kneeling on the floor between her wide open thighs, Kellen looked up at her as he tied his hair back with a leather strap he’d tugged from beneath the cuff on his right wrist. There was no hesitation at all as he shifted forward and plunged his tongue into her quivering hole. He traced her opening repeatedly, drawing her fluids into his mouth with each swipe. She could see it. She could see everything. When he’d collected most of what she’d had waiting for him, he nibbled his way up one swollen lip and then latched onto her clit with a tight suction. His tongue worked the swollen bud as he sucked and sucked, drawing her higher, higher.

“Oh God,” she cried.

Two long, thick fingers slid deep into her clenching p***y. A third pressed against her ass, but didn’t enter. Her hips bucked involuntarily as she exploded in bliss. As soon as the pleasure began to recede, Kellen began to thrust his fingers and rotate them in wide arcs inside her. She moaned for mercy as he kept her pleasure heightened far longer than she’d even known was possible. When her legs began to tremble from overstimulation, he slipped his fingers free and released her clit so he could slide his fingers into his mouth.

She watched him suck her fluids from his fingers with her mouth hanging open. She’d thought the sight of him between her thighs had been sexy, but that… that made her p***y quake with the tease of another o****m.

He pulled his fingers free, took a deep breath, and said, “So f*****g good,” before he leaned forward and licked desperately at her juices.

He rubbed her clit with two fingers while he sucked at her p***y.

“Give me more, baby,” he pleaded.

When she came a moment later, he moaned with satisfaction at the flood of fluids that met his probing tongue.

Fuck, he was good at this.

He stood abruptly, drawing a gasp of surprise from Dawn. He freed his massive c**k from his shorts and began to stroke his length in rapid, hard tugs. She couldn’t decide where to look. At his eyes squeezed shut in bliss? His mouth hanging open as he gasped for air? His heaving chest? Taut abs? His hand tugging his length in rapid, sure strokes? Oh God! Dawn’s p***y clenched in time with his motion. She could almost feel him inside her as he pleasured himself between her thighs. She strained toward him. Fill me. Fill me. Fill me, she thought. He cried out as he erupted. His fluids spurted from his body onto her belly and one breast. A second shot splattered across her thigh. His hand went still.

He leaned against her, his forehead against her shoulder, his shaky breaths warming her chest. She wished her arms were free so she could hold him tight. She nuzzled her face against his neck, and he wrapped his arms around her and pulled his body against hers—chest to breasts, belly to belly, c**k to seam. She didn’t move, afraid he’d pull away. His hips began to grind, rubbing the length of his still hard c**k against her opening. He moaned as if in agony and his cockhead slipped inside her. Yes, she thought. Please. But she stayed silent, her eyes squeezed shut in preparation for his rejection.

He shifted his hips downward, but instead of pulling away, he pressed up inside her, claiming another inch. She clung to the piano beneath her hands. God, how she wanted to hold him as he slowly entered her in a deepening pattern of retreat and conquer. Her body adjusted to his thickness, stretching to accommodate his girth. When his balls pressed against her and she knew she had all of him, a tear dripped from beneath her eyelid and streaked down her cheek.

He buried his hands in her hair and pressed his lips to her cheek. “Dawn?” he whispered brokenly. “What did I just do?”

She wanted to speak, to soothe him, to say it’s okay, Kellen, it’s okay, but emotion clogged her throat and she couldn’t find the words.

He jerked abruptly away, pulling free of her body, away from her, and she couldn’t cling to him, couldn’t stop him from fleeing into the bathroom and slamming the door. And she couldn’t stop the tears flowing down her cheeks unchecked.

Kellen leaned back against the inner surface of the bathroom door, trying to catch his breath. What had he done? s**t. What had he been thinking? He hadn’t been thinking. He’d completely lost control.

It was Dawn’s fault for being so beautiful, so sweet, so warm and wonderful and willing. So absolutely amazing and accepting and so… not Sara.

He slammed his fist into the wall, relishing the pain that snaked through his knuckles and up his arm.

He could still taste Dawn’s juices, still smell the musk of her s*x, still feel her warm, soft heat sheathing his c**k.

How could have done that? Just entered her like that? Promises to Sara aside, he hadn’t even been wearing a condom.

He approached the sink, fumbling in the dark until he found the faucet. He turned on the water and cupped his hand to draw several sips to his mouth.

His promise to Sara echoed through his head. Never, honey. I promise I’ll never come inside another woman. You’re my one and only forever.

Technically, he hadn’t come inside Dawn. He’d entered her after he’d spent himself all over her.

He banged the wall again.

What in the f**k am I doing? Qualifying my actions so I can tolerate the guilt again? He called bullshit on himself. First he had convinced himself that Shibari was okay because he’d never tied Sara, then performing oral was acceptable because Sara didn’t enjoy that particular act, then it was fine if Owen was the one touching him and making him come because Owen wasn’t a woman, and now Kellen was trying to convince himself he could enter a woman, just as long as doing so wasn’t his reason for ejaculating. Hey, Sara, how’s my promise to you looking now? I failed you again.