Deceitful Romance: Loved by a Manipulator

Ultimately, when you reach out your hand and have no one to grab onto, you lose hope. Hope; the last thing that never dies, the last trace of light that shines in someone's eyes. Spontaneously and involuntarily, things don't go your way, the rug is twisted underneath your feet and you stumble. The crash is agonizing. But there's always hope. Someone will help, someone will be there, something has to go your way. What happens when that isn't the case? Do we cry? Fight? When a child looks at its mother, it finds itself wondering how she has an answer to everything. A mother. An answer. A guide. When all of that perishes and we're left alone, what do we do? A nasty smell. It was coming from somewhere in the kitchen, possibly the old, rusty refrigerator. It burned through the air, filling the whole apartment with its nastiness. Must be the eggs. Or the butter. Perhaps the lunch she cooked yesterday, or even the salad she hadn't eaten since last week. The salad. That must be it. Her hand gently trembled as she brought the burning cigarette to her lips, taking a long, deadly drag of the flavored nicotine. Her lungs filled with the poison until she exhaled slowly, smelling the blueberries and mint. Smoking was one of the last things she was supposed to do, but the tiny moment of peacefulness in her mind protested against that. It had been only two months since she moved into the apartment complex with her new roommate who was a distant relative. Or so she was told. The small hallway led immediately to her bed in the living room and the stained, white wall separated it from the dirty kitchen. She was supposed to clean for the day, but as always, the lazy and nagging voice in her head suggested it was alright to wait until the last moment. Clothes, shoes, slippers, bags of chips and sweets all lay on the floor and on her bed. Packets of cigarettes, long emptied, covered the tiled kitchen around the full trash bin. It was as if a caveman lived in the apartment and not a girl. Her roommate was returning tomorrow morning. Though she desperately wished she stayed f*****g with her boyfriend. Maia's breath shuddered and she coughed out. Her loopy eyes dragged across the unsightly view, taking in the complexion of a once clean complex. She rose from her place on the floor, picking up the papers, boxes and wrappers into a bag. Her lips would part occasionally as she fought the urge to breathe in deeply and let her lungs fill with fresh air, but the apartment smelled like cigarettes and rotten salad. She opened the balcony door and let the night air venture in. The first floor wasn't that high. She would probably only fracture a bone. Maybe not even that. Taking her time with the cleaning, the odor slowly evaporated. She was done tidying up in a few hours, but alas, it was too late to go to sleep. Her bus would be leaving in thirty minutes. Class was starting. Sighing begrudgingly, she strutted over to the bathroom. She had some hot water left, just enough for a brief shower. Stripping out of her shirt and panties, she entered the oversized tub and turned on the shower. A quarter later, she was done and tying up her shoelaces. Everything was clean. Just to be sure, she went into the kitchen and checked the knives. Clean. The tiles also clean. Picking up the trash and all the expired food, she exited her small kingdom and locked the door securely. She'd be in trouble if someone broke in and…Well, there's nothing to steal except for her expensive thongs she never wore. But her roommate would definitely be mad and she'd had to deal with bickering. Not that the girl was smart. She did study something related to philosophy somewhere in the city, but that didn't necessarily make her clever. No. She was just a spoiled child. Her boots trudged on the wet ground, arms lifted to throw the trash into the container. Once rid of the horrific smell of the food, she went down the hill and reached the bus stop. Five minutes early. Perhaps she had time for a smoke. That thought left as soon as she saw the bus pull up in front of her. The redness never changed. It reminded her of the lipstick she always used to wear when going out to party. Red. Deep, blood red, inviting and seducing. None of her past friends would prefer her choice of clothing, but back then she was more than comfortable with it. Long sleeves. Always. Everywhere. Even now, when the weather is rainy but smothering, the heat of the sun suffocating and the burning rays biting the skin even at half past six in the morning, she wore a thin layered jacket over her black, sleeveless shirt. Jeans covered her legs and winter boots that went good with the styling carried her into the bus. She took her usual spot at one of the seats near the window, hugging her bag and turning up the volume of her music. The blue earpieces made the tracks on her phone live in her ears, successfully blocking out the comments, conversations and stares from the accompanying people. Their mouths moved as the engine roared and the bus lurched down the road. Unsuspecting and gossiping, the humans continued their deceitful chatter, talking behind their closest back. She hated that nature. The need to spit on someone when they're not looking and later smile in their faces. She also hated listening to the words. Supplementary information was unnecessary. Know what you want and must. Nothing else. Leaning her head on the window, she turned up the volume even more and indulged in the daily dose of daydreaming. A world of her own where people weren't as poisonous and envying. Her eyes would occasionally glaze over, muscles jerk in surprise of the intensity. Her imagination went wild and sometimes she got too lost in the dream, blocking out everything before her. The images before her eyes were in her mind and in those moments… nothing else mattered. Nothing mattered. She lifted her head just in time to see that the station she was supposed to catch her next bus at was coming up. Immediately, the imaginary world disappeared and her eyes stared at the cruelty of the one she was really in. She slipped past the old, fat woman who grunted lowly at her hastiness. If you would only move your fat legs. She stood at the door and ignored the glare. Not that she could hear the menacing words. No. She could only see the fire rising in the old lady and the desire to curse, spit and fight swarming in her muddy, hazel eyes. It was only a glimpse, but Maia caught it. Something she couldn't miss. Maia always read their emotions from their eyes. Anger, spitefulness, embarrassment, shyness. She recognized when someone wasn't fond of her, or floating her waters. Those she couldn't read, she gave the benefit of the doubt, but cautiously, she would remove them from her potential acquaintance list. Acquaintance. Not a friend. Risking herself with a friendship was too dangerous. Being in one is even more frightening. Despite that, there were people who found her quietness, shyness and reserved manner pleasing. The two girls she had met at the start of her college adventure, were just like that. Still, she kept her distance. Opening up was risky. Being too close would mean she didn't consider them as ‘friends’, so saying just enough and exposing just as much was the best route. Never give all of you 'cause no one will give you all of them. One person told her that and she strongly stood behind that statement. It was true, honest and the proof that she wasn't the only one afraid to reveal her secrets. The reason we search for love is 'cause we're scared to be alone. Scared to be lonely. Somewhat true. Somewhat obscure. Her brows furrowed as she left the bus. Thirty seconds in making an eye contact and she was already on the topic of love and trust. Maia couldn't understand the way her brain worked sometimes. Especially in those situations. She waited, impatiently, for the second bus to come. Luckily for her, she still had time to get to class, even be early at that. Maia hated being late or waiting on someone. It gave her a sense of nervousness and it made her feel uncomfortable. When she boarded the second vehicle, she avoided all eyes at all cost. If not, she would be boring her eyes into someone's soul and feel exposed and bare before their stare. She hated the thought of that. Twenty minutes later, she was strolling to the doors of her college. The tall, broad and old wooden door opened with a squeak. She waltzed in, going straight for the stairs and the small bridge that connected two buildings of the institute. The usual women at the food stand at the corner greeted her and she gave a brief, incoherent nod. Taking her place in front of the elevator, she invited it down and in a minute or so, she was on her floor. Maia caught a glimpse of black and golden hair and she knew that her crew was already at their usual spot. She came to them from the side and greeted with a faint smile while popping her earpieces out. “Greetings, Miss I'm-too-tired-to-come-over.” The raven haired girl smiled. She was tall, slim and with a nice figure. Flat chested. Her slender arms and feminine hands stretched out as she patted Maia on the shoulder and returned to smoking the half burnt cigarette. Curls and round eyes, gentle features and full lips, Sky was a beauty by Maia's standards. She looked gentle, but her posture was straight as a rod, tense and speaking volumes to others that approached. “I was busy cleaning and resting.” “Yeah, sure and I was busy enjoying my Lord of the Rings marathon.” She pursed her lips in a slightly pouty manner, puffing out the inhaled smoke. Maia let out a raspy chuckle and shook her head. “Leave her be, her roommate was finally out.” “Yeah. I thank the dildo in her closet that she finally left her room.” Sky gasped in shock and laughed at the news. “A dildo?” “Yep.” “Why were you going through her closet?” “We share it.” Sky's eyebrows arched into the air and she laughed once more. A gentle chuckle and a pleasant sound of her voice. Maia turned her eyes to the goldilocks. The girl reminded her of an angel; pure and innocent, kind and fragile. The big, blue eyes always stared at her with compassion and understanding. Lina shook her head in disapproval and leaned onto the porch of the huge window. “Jesus.” “Christ.” “God?” Lina puffed her cheeks and crossed her arms in poutiness over their teasing. She was a short girl, with chubby cheeks and semi-full lips that were always agape. She was always happy. Cheerful. Rarely showing distress. Except when she bursts. Not a nice experience. Maia took out the box of cigarettes from her jacket and lit one up. She stood next to the open window with Sky and stared out to the roof. The day was rainy again. Somber, the skies crying their tears. Best mood for that. She took a drag of her cigarette and sighed in content at the peaceful feeling. She enjoyed her time with the girls. Even though they didn't know each other that long, they were still as close as the circle you would consider your ‘friends’. But she couldn't put that term to pieces with the feelings she carved for the two. Maia found them pleasant, perhaps too much, but she refused to let the emotion go any deeper than that. Their conversations were normal, their jokes funny. They had a good time with each other. But at the end of the day, it was just that. Maia finished her cigarette and looked down the corridor. She took notice of the professor entering the classroom and motioned to the girls that it was time.