October Falls

1: There's No Place Like The Falls

Dark, stiff heat and slow, languid winds welcomed me back to the Falls.

The scent of sun scorched earth and thriving pines, summer yielding to the inevitability of fall, the unofficial fragrance of the town itself. Unbroken, unexciting, but comforting all the same.

A comfort I clung to, after my three-month absence.

I’d never thought I’d miss October Falls.

The quaint yet crowded small town, in which everybody knew everybody, and secrets couldn’t remain secrets for long. Hell, I thought I might even enjoy blending into the thousands of faces in the city, but there wasn’t anything to enjoy about spending summer in the specialist unit of a state hospital.

Even if I was just another face, another nameless patient, suffering from symptoms that couldn’t be explained and worse still couldn’t be cured.

The dull pounding of gramps’ boots up the stairwell startled me out of my thoughts, and I turned away from my opened window to my door, the iridescent purple bead curtains parted and clipped against the dark, navy walls.

Gramps’ cold brown eyes met mine as he let my duffel bag slip from his grip next to the metal frame of my bed, and it sparked an odd wave of security in me that my belongings and I were here where we belonged.

In my childhood room, with printed photos from my DSLR on the walls and stacks of my mom’s old vinyl’s in a leaning tower next to my tallboy, overflowing with black jeans and Fleetwood Mac tees.

There were a few things I mirrored from my mom, her incredible taste in music, her honey blonde hair and her incurable disease.

“The nurses packed your medication in your bag before you were discharged.”

Gramps rumbled in his monotonous, worn voice. Made even more expressionless by the cold, hard stare he’d adopted when mom died.

Taking a step away from the window, hands shoved in my back pockets I nodded slowly, “Twice a day, every day.”

His icy dark gaze stared at me with a deep, unwavering focus and I could tell he was still unconvinced that I was fit to resume living my life. I could see him watching and scrutinizing waiting to pounce, to find any excuse to keep me in a protective bubble.

I rocked back nervously on my heels, unable to handle the intensity of his silent stare.

“I really am fine gramps. In fact, I feel better than fine, fantastic even.”

He frowned deeper, and I sighed forcing myself to meet his unbreakable glare, filling his stoic silence with more words.

“It was a mild attack. I was just unlucky.”

The tension in his body wound even tighter and his fists clenched at his sides, “You’re not unlucky Solo, you’re sick.”

I winced at the heavy weight of the word, not used to hearing him declare the truth with such finality.

We didn’t talk about it. Ever.

It was our most guarded secret, the only part of us not shared with this nosy town. And for good reason, we already received so much sympathy and scorn for being the broken family. ‘poor Billie, losing his only daughter and taking care of Solo all alone’ and of course ‘that poor girl. She lost her mother’.

It was obvious that mom was the glue in our family, and that without her, gramps and I were easily falling apart. I hated the looks, the whispered words, the unending pity that suffocated my life until I couldn’t breathe.

But like all obstacles in life, it became bearable and people eventually moved on and felt the need to not talk about it so much anymore. Gramps and I have moved past it, and everyone else has too, which is why I couldn’t bear for it to start again.

And if anyone caught wind of the fact that I was rotting away from the inside out I’d be forced to see everyone with that damn look on their faces again. And I couldn’t do that again, neither could gramps.

So we ignored it.

We swept it all under the carpets and shut it away in unopened boxes, but life has a funny way of catching up with you, and it seemed now our days of simply ignoring it were over.

“Nothing’s changed gramps,” I assured him, softening my voice with the need to get through to him.

“The hell it hasn’t,” his steel eyes flared with determination and fire, “You’re not going to convince me to ignore this Solo because I won’t. Already I’ve let you live and ignore this and look what happened.”

He shook his head when I opened my mouth to argue and I wisely snapped it shut.

“I promised you I wouldn’t tell anybody and I haven’t,” he continued, his words strong and leaving no room for argument or complaint, “But you can’t go back to acting like this doesn’t exist because it does. And I won’t lose you too.”

There was an undeniable shift in him now and I sensed it fully.

The creases of age on his face were marred permanently as a result of worry and stress and fatigue, and I watched him rub at the lines on his forehead in a practiced, defeated gesture. It was obvious the last three months had pushed him to breaking point and although nothing ever changed in October Falls, it seemed William Kennedy had.

Reclaiming his composure gramps sighed wearily, “You need to rest, Tim’s coming over to watch you while I follow up a lead on a case–”

“But I told Rian that I’d see her at the game tonight!”

I interrupted unapologetically.

I had barely talked to my best friend all summer, and I couldn’t bail on her now. Besides, who knew what rumors would be swirling about my sudden disappearance, the sooner I showed my face and proved that I had nothing to hide, the faster it would all go away.

“You were just discharged today. Rian and your high school football team can wait.”

Was all he said stubbornly, grating on the swell of anger that was surging within me. I didn’t need rest, I was fine. And I sure didn’t need his deputy babysitting me, I was seventeen I could take care of myself.

“I’ve waited three months already. I want my life back. You can’t just think that locking me up in this house is going to protect me!”

His jaw clenched tightly at my words and I regretted the sharp sting as soon as I’d spoken.

With measured footsteps, he bent down delving into my duffle bag his fingers clutched firmly against my jingling keys and sleek, black cell. He placed them both into the back pocket of his jeans, his cool gaze issuing a challenge – watch me.

He turned on his heel and easily strolled down the stairs, the thud of his boots echoing in my brain as a sorry bubbled up in my mouth but wouldn’t leave my lips. I stalked after him a moment too late and found him in the kitchen with Tim.

Who quickly jolted from his leaning position against the dining chair to smile wildly at me, “Hey welcome back Solo! How was Florida?”

“Hot.”

I lied easily and followed gramps’ movements as he walked around the kitchen for his Sheriff’s badge and his wide-brimmed hat – the only uniform he ever wore that made it clear he was on duty.

“There’s chicken from Mrs. McCoy in the fridge if either of you wants any food.”

He muttered and Tim’s brown eyes melted with hunger, “You want me to fix you a plate Solo?”

I smiled tightly and nodded, not in the mood to eat, but not wanting to keep Tim away from his chicken.

Gramps left with a heavy clap against Tim’s shoulder murmuring something about me not feeling well the last few days and to keep an eye on me, I barely refrained from rolling my eyes and instead offered gramps a quick goodbye as I slid onto the bar stool.

Tim was making himself right at home, reheating the chicken and boiling a pot of green beans and corn. He asked me about the photography camp in Florida and I delivered the answers the same effortlessly way I’d rehearsed them all summer.

Camp was fun, I'd learned a lot, no I wouldn’t want to move there.

“There’s definitely no place like the Fall’s,” Tim agreed wistfully and with his back finally turned to me as he dished up the plates, my hand slipped into the pocket of his discarded jacket.

Gently feeling my way paste two keys and what felt like a stick of gum my fingers gripped around the familiar rectangular metal of a phone and I quickly drew it out and hid it in my lap.

A quick glance at the screen and to my surprise, I realized the device was password protected. Tim did not seem like the kind of guy to put a lock on his phone, hell most of the people in this town hardly even locked their doors at night.

But I guess he was on the force so I underestimated the extent of his ‘caution to the wind’ mentality.

Staring at the blaring screen of numbers, a furrow between my brows after denied access from Tim’s birthday and also the year his community college football team almost made the playoffs.

My gaze flew up to Tim with his grey sweatshirt and wine-toned hair. He was humble and all-American, never straying too far from the straight and narrow.

“Hey Tim?”

He looked at me inquisitively a mouthful of fried chicken hidden in his mouth that brought an endearing smile to my nervous expression as I asked, “Your car out front that’s a circa sixty-nine?”

“Sixty-eight,” he beamed proudly, “But close. I thought you spent your summer fiddling with cameras, not cars.”

“Yeah, a guy from camp mentioned something about it,” I murmured, quietly grinning with triumph as 1-9-6-8 unlocked his phone. It only took a quick look through his contacts to unsurprisingly find Rian’s number and I shot up from my seat.

“Do you mind holding my plate for me, I’ve got to run upstairs for a second.”

I barely waited for a nodded yes, before I bound up the stairs and shut my door behind me, holding the ringing cell to my ear, crossing my fingers and holding my breath.

She sounded vaguely annoyed when she answered.

“Tim. I thought I told you not to call me anymore.”

The smile that came over my face was evident in my voice, the amusement not lost on me, “Wow Rian, even poor Tim? Is there any heart in this town you haven’t broken yet?”

Her tone soon mirrored my own excitement, “Well if it isn’t little miss M.I.A. I thought you were meeting me at the game, and now you’re at the police station?”

With an overdrawn sigh I collapsed down onto my bed, cautious of the volume of my voice so Tim wouldn’t hear, “Actually I’m at home. Gramps has me under unofficial house arrest.”

I didn’t miss the intrigue in her voice, “So you really did go to juvie over the summer.”

“Juvie?” I exclaimed my eyes wide with shock, “Is that what the rumor is?”

“Juvie, rehab, Mrs. Waterford swore up and down you’d joined a cult of some kind.”

Mrs. Waterford was one of the older inhabitants of October Falls, and she brewed gossip along with the best of them. I didn’t expect for one second that Rian believed any of it, but it was obvious that she wasn’t completely sold on the idea of my sudden disappearance to a photography camp in Florida either.

“No cult,” I chuckled dryly, “Well unless you count the constant dedication to soft-focus lenses and bokeh.”

Lying to Rian was harder than it had been with Tim, but it was easier to hide the guilt through the phone.

“Spare me the boring details,” she cried out playfully, “Did the Sheriff take your keys again, do you need someone to help bust you out?”

“That would be nice, I’ve already missed the first game of the season I don’t want to make it two.”

"Uh-huh, and that’s the only reason why you’re so desperate to come to the game because you miss football.”

She teased knowingly, unconvinced and I felt an immediate blush come to my face.

“Well, I obviously miss you, Rian.”

“You sure this has nothing to do with a certain football player?”

I shook my head although she couldn’t see me.

She didn’t need to be in the same room with me to know that I was flaming red and covering my flushed face with my hand.

“Solo Kennedy, if I didn’t know you so well I’d be offended that you missed Parker McCoy more then you missed me.”

“I did not!” I argued.

But I stuttered at the sound of his name, and Rian scoffed through the phone.

She was right I didn’t care too much about the game, but I did care an awful lot about seeing Parker. The boy I’d been crushing on since we were in middle school, the boy who didn’t see me as anything other than an old friend at best.

“Alright, alright,” she didn’t bother hiding her amusement, “I’m on my way.”

I could always count on Rian, no matter that we’ve spent a whole summer apart with hardly any contact at all. We have the kind of friendship that was loose ended and could always pick up right where we left off, no troubles at all.

“See you soon.”

I disconnected the call and stared at the phone in my hand letting the impact of her words hit me. I knew the rumors about my disappearance were going to be bad but I didn’t realize they’d spiral this far out of control, was a lie about a photography summer camp really going to be enough?

The anxiety hit me hard and a cramp in my stomach had me gasping in pain and shock.

I recognized the agony that felt as though it were pumping through my blood and realized my anxiety had brought forth one of my attacks that the doctor had coined Blood Fits.

Although unable to explain why or how, or what really triggers it, doctors had discovered that the pain I felt was caused by a sudden surge of my white blood cells attacking every other cell in my body.

I gritted my teeth as I clutched at my stomach to fight through the pain.

Willing my body to calm the only thing that manages to quiet the attacks before they turn into full-blown seizures.

After another moment of tearing, burning pain, it stopped and an aftermath of tears were drying in the corners of my eyes.

Was gramps right? Was I pushing myself too hard, forcing myself to do the impossible and live my life the normal way?

No, I could do this.

I have to do this.

I couldn’t go back to that hospital hooked up to every IV and poked and prodded, enduring endless onslaughts of agony hour after hour. There was no other option, I had to go pick up my life where I left it.

Douse the rumors before any hint of truth was unleashed, take my pills to keep the Blood Fits at bay and keep the secret my mom had died to protect.

But I was dreaming if I thought nothing had changed in the Falls.

Something had changed.

Something was different.

There was a darkness dwelling and hiding here that hadn’t existed before.

I could feel it whispered in the hot winds, feel it staring at me from the darkness of the pines sending prickles of awareness down my neck.

If only I knew that in my absence October Falls had born a secret that was even deadlier then my own.

And that come sunrise, this new, dark secret would be mine to keep.

~*~