Betrothed to a Prince, In Love With My Bodyguard

The Wolf Awakens

Red's POV

I stare at my father in disbelief. His words echo in my head over and over again, screaming at me, taunting me.

I have to send you to live with them.

It shouldn’t feel this shocking, I suppose. I already agreed to marry the guy; I knew I’d have to move in with him sooner or later. I’ve even gotten the painful hurdle of hearing myself being called Mrs. Gibbous over with. What’s moving in with him, in the scheme of things?

It’s everything. It’s leaving my home. It’s leaving my family, and my pack. It’s leaving Eli, and Corrin, and… 

And Rowan.

“When?” I ask him. This seems to be the question all of us ask more and more with each passing day.

“A week after your graduation. Three weeks.”

Never in a million years did I expect it to happen so soon. Two months, at the earliest. A year, even two, the optimistic side of me had hoped.

To the Sun’s Hell with my optimistic side. It’s gotten me nowhere.

“Tell her the good part,” Kat urges him. He always brings her to talks about my future marriage, I notice. I wonder whether it’s because he fears I’ll murder him. Kat is certainly a strong protector, and I certainly am considering the crime.

“I’m not sending you alone,” he tells me.

I brighten, if only marginally. “Corrin’s coming?”

He exchanges a look with Kat. “Not Corrin,” he says. “Rowan.”

For an instant, my heart soars. The thought of entering that cold, dark castle, the place I once had nightmares about, seems so much warmer when I imagine Rowan going there with me. We can find a balcony like the one we held hands on the night of the engagement party. We can go on rides together and practice archery together. We can…

These thoughts die as quickly as they came with the realization of how cruel it would be to ask him to come with me. Seeing Dom touch me at school every day is hard enough for him. Seeing me live with him?

There’s nothing more selfish that I could ask of him. Nothing.

“No,” I say, shaking my head. “Not Rowan. It should be Corrin.”

“Corrin’s wolf hasn’t awoken yet,” Kat tells me gently. “It can’t be her.”

“She turns eighteen two weeks after me. By the time we get there, she’ll be able to shift.”

“She won’t have any experience with shifting,” my father tells me. Even he is being more gentle than I would have expected. “Rowan’s got over a year under his belt, and has proven himself in training and skirmishes within the pack. I don’t trust the Gibbouses yet, Red. It has to be someone strong.”

You don’t trust them, yet you’re sending me to live with them? I want to scream at him. But it would get us nowhere. “Auron, then,” I say, thinking of Corrin and Rowan’s father. He can’t deny Auron’s strength.

“I need my Beta here, not on the other side of the kingdom.”

“Then the new Delta.” I can barely remember the name of the Delta who replaced Kat when she married my father. “Logan. Or a Sentinel, if you can’t part with your precious Delta, either.”

“Red,” Kat says gently. “Your father and I have discussed this at length. Rowan is the most powerful wolf we can part with, and one we trust the most. It won’t be forever—Rowan will still return to become the Beta of our pack one day.”

“I don’t understand why you don’t want it to be him,” my father says, crossing his arms. “You care for him, don’t you? I thought you’d be happy, being able to bring a friend with you.”

I try to swallow my anger. Telling him the truth will only make more of a mess of things. “Just… let me talk to him,” I say. “Before you decide.”

I can tell from the look on my father’s face that he’s already decided, but I don’t care. If Rowan doesn’t want this, I refuse to make him do it.

- - - - -

I have no idea what time it is when I knock on his door. Too late for me to come knocking, probably. But I don’t want to wait. I don’t want my father spreading the news of this before I talk to him.

He looks sleepy when he opens the door. His long, sandy brown hair, which he often pulls back into a ponytail, falls messily to his shoulders, and he rubs his eyes in confusion when he sees me. “Are you okay?”

Why lie to him when I have to lie to everyone else? “No. I’m not.”

The sleepiness fades from his eyes as the realization sets in. “He told you.”

He knows, then. Good. At least I was spared the pain in his eyes when he heard the news for the first time.

He backs up, gesturing for me to enter his room.

I’ve been in Rowan’s room a few times, but not many. He and Corrin come to my and Eli’s rooms often for movie nights and hangouts, but not his. I glance around, noting the changes since the last time I was there. He’s got an impressive record player, and an even more impressive record collection. I glance at his bed. His black comforter looks soft; the red sheets beneath it look even softer.

I can’t let myself think about his bed right now. I can’t.

“I told him it has to be someone else,” I say, turning my eyes back to his. “Your dad, or Logan, or, I don’t know, a Sentinel.”

His eyes glint. It’s hard for me to tell what he’s thinking. “I’m sure he loved that.”

“He said no,” I admit. “He said it has to be you. But I told him I want to talk to you about it before he goes… making his final decisions.”

“I think he’s made his final decision, Red. Him and my dad.”

That was who told him, I realize—his own father. 

“We can fight them,” I tell him. “If we tell them the truth…”

“No,” he says, shaking his head. “We can’t.”

“You can’t want this. For you to be there, to see us…”

“I’m not going to lie to you—it’s going to hurt. But I do want to, Red. It’s my duty—it’s my honor. I want to protect you—no matter what.”

A tear slides down my cheek. Again. How many more times will he see me cry? If he’s coming to live with me at Castle Gibbous, I’m sure there will be many.

“I want you to,” I whisper. “But it’s the most selfish thought I’ve ever had.”

My words seem to intoxicate him more than I had intended, and before I know what’s happening, he grabs me and kisses me so deeply, I lose all control of my body.

I feel his kiss throughout every inch of myself, from the deepest recesses of my brain to the outermost tips of my toes. I feel his strong, eager tongue press against my lips, and I feel the vibrations of his moan as I part them for him. I feel his fingertips dig into me, one set curling into my hair, the other pressing into the small of my back through my shirt. I feel myself let out a strange, desperate whimper when he pulls away from me.

“I’m sorry,” he mutters, turning away from me. His voice is choppy and his breath uneven. 

Not as uneven as mine. I’m not sure I remember how to breathe.

“Don’t be,” I say when I find my words again. “Why did you stop?”

When he turns back to me, his expression is dark. “You know we can’t. I should never have done that.”

I do know we can’t, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’ve never wanted anything so badly in my life. 

Your wolf’s not even awake yet, I think grimly. It’s only going to get harder.

I know there’s no guarantee she will want him the way I do, but a deeper part of me knows that she will. 

“I love you, Red,” he tells me, reaching out to tuck my hair behind my ear. It’s the same thing Dom does to me, but it feels so different when it’s Rowan doing it. It feels like home. “Which is why I have to ask you to leave.”

He doesn’t just mean for me to leave his room. He means for me to leave the castle—to marry Dom.

The words marry Dom are just as hard for me to think as they were the first time I heard them.

But when I remind myself that Rowan is coming with me, I find it just the tiniest bit more bearable.

- - - - -

I try even harder than usual the next week to keep Dom’s affections at bay, for both Rowan’s sake and my own. I’d be lying if I said I feel nothing when Dom touches me and whispers the sweet nothings into my ear that he loves to whisper, but the closer Rowan and I get, the less I’m capable of feeling for Dom. It doesn’t even compare.

Unfortunately, the news about my move to Castle Gibbous seems to have made it to him as quickly as it did to me and Rowan, and it ignites a whole new passion in him that’s even harder to quell.

“You’re going to love it there,” he tells me at lunch on Thursday. He’s started joining me and my pack for lunch, which seems to make his sister Sophie furious. She still hasn’t said much of anything to me since the betrothal announcement, though she did manage an unfriendly “congratulations” at the engagement party. “They say your castle once belonged to the elves, but ours belonged to the giants, so it’s twice as big.”

I know from the stories that he’s telling the truth, but I also know that Castle Gibbous is said to be a cold, dark, Gothic place designed as much by the vampires as by the giants, back before the vampires burned their bridge with the faeries and were exiled from the land.

But I don’t say that; the blushing bride doesn’t argue with her groom, after all.

Unfortunately, Rowan says it for me.

“Giants, huh? Funny—I heard it was the vampires who lived there first.”

Eli and Corrin burst out laughing; Dom glares daggers at Rowan. “Maybe you should retake history class,” he snarls. “Then again, that’s kind of what you’re doing now, isn’t it?”

A growl escapes Rowan—a real one this time. I reach out to touch his arm, and it seems to do the trick of calming him.

“Quite the mad dog you’ve got for a bodyguard, Tempest,” Dom tells me. “I heard he’s coming with you. You sure wouldn’t rather it be Corrin?”

Corrin and I exchange a look. By now, she, Eli, Rowan, and I have exhausted the subject. Corrin wasn’t thrilled to hear she was being replaced, but she couldn’t quite hide her relief at not having to move to Castle Gibbous.

“It can’t be Corrin,” I tell him. “We’ve asked.”

He reluctantly lets it go, changing the subject entirely.

When I glance at Rowan, I realize he’s staring down at my hand. Thinking about my touch.

I’m thinking about his, too. These days, it’s about all I want to think about.

- - - - -

“Any plans for tomorrow?” Corrin asks me casually in the limo the next morning.

I glance from her to Eli to Rowan, amusement tracing my eyes. Even if I were to believe that she and Eli forgot my birthday—which I doubt—I would never buy that Rowan did. Rowan always remembers my birthday. He always gives me a gift that makes my heart hurt. Normally it’s an unrequited love kind of hurt. This year, it will be a whole new kind of hurt.

“No,” I say, deciding to play coy with her. “Thought I’d sleep ’til noon and then maybe watch a Nora Ephron flick.” 

Eli and Rowan don’t bother hiding their laughter; Corrin shoves them.

“Well,” she says. “Do whatever you want during the day. But we’re going a ride in the evening.”

“Really,” I say, feigning aloofness.

“Yeah. Nothing special—just a little target practice. Maybe we’ll camp out if it gets late. You should probably dress nice, though. Not for any particular reason. Just… in case we run into anyone.”

I’m glad to hear they’ve arranged something—with only two weeks left at home, I like the thought of a little bonding time with the pack. 

I just hope it’s contained to only the pack. The thought of Dom being there is too much for me to take.

- - - - -

My wolf awakens in my dreams before she awakens in my reality, which means, unlike most, I get to see her before I shift.

I always pictured her as a red wolf, like my father’s. They called him The Red Wolf when he was a young prince. It’s a rare thing to see—even the few wolves in Canis who have red hair in their human forms don’t typically shift into red-coated wolves. But he does, and so, apparently, will I.

Eli won’t. He’s got our mother’s hair, chocolate brown. He doesn’t have her eyes, thankfully. If he had her eyes and her hair, I’m not sure I could look at him without feeling sad.

They say some inner wolves speak to you and some don’t. Mine speaks to me in my dream the moment I see her.

Hello, Red.

I like that she knows to call me Red. I like the look of her, too. She’s a little small and a little scrappy, like me, but formidable nonetheless.

Hi, I reply. It’s nice to meet you.

I’d say it’s nice to meet you, too, but I’ve known you all your life. I’ve seen all you’ve been through, and I’m proud of you. You’re wise beyond your years, and you’re passionate and fearless the way every wolf should be.

I can’t help but feel surprised. The awakening of one’s inner wolf is said to turn you wild, to bring out a whole new side of yourself—even to make you fall for wolves you never would have thought you would. Does she really just… agree with me?

I am a part of you, just as you are a part of me. I feel the same things you feel; I’m simply the part of you that lets the most raw and instinctive emotions in you come to the surface. Rage, for example. Desire.

I’m not sure I’m capable of feeling any more desire than I’ve felt these past few weeks.

Her snout curves into a wolfish smile as she tells me, Just you wait.

- - - - -

When I wake up, the burning sensation I’ve felt several times around Rowan is upon me with a whole new level of heat. A moan escapes my lips before I can even register what I’m feeling, and before I know it, I’m rolling onto my stomach and pressing myself against the mattress of my bed in a deep, hungry thrust.

I close my eyes and see nothing but his silver eyes staring at me in my corset. I moan again, reaching for my left breast through my camisole with one hand and reaching between my legs with the other. I’ve never touched myself like this before, and I don’t quite know where my fingers should go, but my inner wolf seems to guide me without words, and before long, I have to press my face deep into my pillow to keep from screaming.

It’s a thrilling sensation, and I’m wetter with desire than I’ve ever been before, but it’s not enough. I find myself frustrated more than satisfied, and when the knock sounds on the door, I’ve nearly given up.

I shoot up in bed, wiping my hand against the sheets and covering my exposed legs with the blanket. 

“Who is it?” I ask in an embarrassingly high-pitched voice. 

“It’s your posse, come to wish you a happy birthday!” Corrin shouts through the door. “Can we come in?”

I glance at the mirror across the room. My hair is a mess, and my face is flushed with color. Not to mention, my n*****s are poking through my camisole pretty aggressively.

I know I should pull on a robe, but my wolf won’t let me stop picturing Rowan staring at me in that corset, and I realize I would give just about anything to see him look at me that way again.

“Sure,” I find myself saying.

My eyes find his the moment he enters, and I don’t seem to comprehend a word Corrin says as we stare at each other. He smells different now. I smell all the things I did before, but there’s something new. s*x, I realize. He smells like s*x.

Or is it me that smells like s*x?

He can smell me, I realize. He knows what I was doing. And judging from the look in his eyes, it’s driving him absolutely crazy.

“Red?” Corrin asks, snapping me out of my trance. “How’s that sound?”

“Great,” I manage, having no idea what I’ve just agreed to. “Love it.”

She beams. “Good! Then we’ll meet you in the Great Hall in, say, twenty minutes?”

“Sounds great,” I say, and she and Eli turn to leave. She glances at Rowan, who hasn’t moved an inch. I realize that if I want him to stay, I need to give him some sort of excuse.

“Rowan,” I say. “Mind staying and helping me pick out some tunes for later?”

It’s a lame lie, but considering the dazed mental state I’m in, it could be worse. Rowan is known to be the music guru of the group, after all.

He manages a nod. The moment Corrin and Eli leave, he closes the door behind him.

We stare at each other in silence for several seconds. My chest rises and falls so rapidly, I wonder whether I might be having a heart attack. He doesn’t exactly seem fully in control of his own faculties.

I rise shakily to my feet. Yesterday I would have felt nervous and exposed; my camisole is a tiny thing that doesn’t even cover my belly button, and my boy-short undies don’t even cover my entire ass. But today, I don’t care. Today, I want him to see me. All of me.

He doesn’t try to hide his gaze. He looks me over from head to toe, and then back up. My wetness returns with a vengeance. I’m starting to shake with desire.

“You…” He can barely speak. “You smell…”

I know what he smells. I take a step toward him, eyes bright. “Yes?” I ask coyly.

“You were…”

I take another step. “Yes?”

He suddenly explodes, closing the gap between us in half a second and pressing me against the wall behind me so aggressively, my breath catches in my throat. He presses my arms against the wall on either side of me and presses himself into me, digging his hardened bulge against me with a motion that nearly sends my legs buckling out from under me in dazed pleasure.

His lips find my neck, and for an instant, I think he means to mark me. I should think about what it would mean for my future, what it would mean for my pack, but in that moment, I don’t care. I want him to mark me. I want to be his, and I want him to be mine.

“You were touching yourself,” he whispers into my ear, and the sensation is so utterly different from the way Dom makes me feel when he does it, I find myself digging my fingernails into the skin of his back. When did my hands make their way up his shirt? I’m not sure I’m fully conscious at this point.

“Yes,” I whisper back, whimpering with pleasure as he bites my earlobe. “I was thinking about you.”

He groans with pleasure of his own, and one of his hands makes its way from my arm to my breast, lowering my camisole and letting his fingertips find my n****e. It’s already hard, but as he gives it a gentle squeeze, it hardens further, and by the time his lips find it, I’m not sure it will ever soften again. 

He returns his lips to my ear as his hand makes its way lower. 

“Don’t touch yourself,” he murmurs as his fingers make their way down my underwear and press hard against my s*x. He finds the spot that makes me quiver even quicker than I did, and when a fingertip slips inside me, I hear myself give a little gasp. “Let me do it for you.”

I rip his shirt apart as he slips a second finger inside me, clawing at his bare shoulders with my hands as I wrap both of my legs around him, pressing myself deeper into his hand and deeper against his body. He uses his free hand to support me as his other hand continues to explore me so much better than I explored myself.

“I want you,” I whisper to him, curling myself against him. “Please.”

His lips find mine, and he kisses me a thousand times more deeply and desperately than he did before. His fingers inside me go into overdrive, and I part my lips to tell him to stop, because I know what he’s doing, what he’s avoiding, but it feels so good, and I can’t think about anything but his sweaty, perfect body pressed against me and the amazing sensation he is making me feel, and before I’m able to get the words out, I hear myself cry out in the first orgasm I have ever experienced.

When it’s over, I glance down at his bulge, eager to give him the same satisfaction he’s given me. But where his bulge had been is only a spot of wetness in his jeans.

“Watching you lose yourself for me did me in,” he tells me softly as he removes his hand from me, face still inches from mine. He gives me another kiss, this one softer and sweeter than the others.

“Why didn’t you make love to me?” I whisper.

The sadness returns to his eyes at my question, but the love is there, too. He doesn’t regret what happened between us. It meant as much to him as it did to me.

“You’re promised to him,” he says softly. “If he were to find out—”

“I don’t care about him,” I interrupt stubbornly. When my next words escape my lips, I know it’s my wolf talking. But it’s me, too. I feel the same things you feel. “You’re mine.”

If I didn’t already make it clear to him with my s****l advances that my recently awakened wolf loves him just as much as I do, I’ve certainly made it clear to him now. His eyes cloud over with so much love and happiness, I think for a second that he might cry.

“And you’re mine,” he tells me softly, taking my face in his hands. “But it doesn’t change the fact that you’re promised to him.”