“You are not going to sell your body to pay off dad’s debts especially not to that mongrel,” Audrey tries to reassure me.
“The fact that he would even suggest it is appalling,” I paced the lengths of our small room. Small as it is, it happens to be the only place I find comfort in this house. I have shared this room with Audrey since we were little, but we learned to respect each other’s spaces.
We decorated our sections differently and my side of the room is not as colorful as Audrey’s. We have two separate beds on each side of the room. Audrey always has a pink or multicolored bedspread laid, her medium-sized teddy bear sitting comfortably on the bed, a small reading table where she keeps all her favorite books, and a reading lamp by the side.
On Audrey’s reading table is an old family picture. Mum held me cradled in her arms, with dad’s arms around her waist. They looked happy and so much in love. Audrey is peeking from behind father’s legs, her small fists holding on to his jeans, and smiling into the camera with two incisors missing from her upper jaw. I never understood why she cherished that photo so much, but looking at it now, I wonder how I ever missed that sparkle in mum’s eye. It was gone now and replaced with sadness.
Her side of the wall next to her bed is decorated with pink flowery wall papers, a design I feel is too dramatic. My own part of the room however is not so bright. The wall is plain white, but age had dulled the color, making it look like Porcelain. I like to keep things simple. I don’t fancy all the flowery decorations and teddy bears that every other girl would find attractive.
I have a bedside table with my little alarm clock on it, and a small box containing the few jewelries that I own, which are just a couple of earrings, knuckle rings, and an old wristwatch.
Despite our conflicting taste in designs, the room still held a feminine beauty. The natural light coming in through the window gave the room good illumination.
We were happy once, definitely not rich, but at least we didn’t have any reason to look over our shoulders.
“We have to do something Audrey. I don’t want dad’s idea to be our last resort because I won’t forgive myself if something bad happens knowing there was something I could have done. As much as I hate how selfish he is most times, I can’t change the fact that he is my father and we are all tied up in this mess,” I slumped on my bed and sighed.
“I could work extra hours, and get a second job. I also saw a vacancy in the restaurant across the street that you can try out tomorrow. They need extra hands and it would definitely yield better income than that dump store you are working. Dylan also promised me some funds. I was going to add it to my piggy bank for my education, but now that I have given that away, I may as well give it up too,”
Dylan is Audrey’s boyfriend. He is super supportive and loves Audrey a lot, but I don’t think Audrey is into him as much as he is into her. I on the other hand have never dated anyone before, and I don’t think I ever will, the reason being that I do not want to end up like my mom. I'd liked someone once, and when he left I was glad our relationship didn't progress
Mom is trapped. She can’t leave because she is so in love with this man, and I don’t want to ever be too dependent on anyone like my mum is on him. I may never get married even. Maybe just have a child and that’s it. I don’t want to fall in love, no matter how mom tries to make it sound like it’s a good thing.
“Audrey, I’m sorry you had to give up that money. I know how hard you worked for it and how badly you want a college education,” I say slowly.
Audrey shrugged “Dad’s life is more important. Besides, ten grand can barely pay for tuition fees. I’ll just have to start all over. Delaying a few years is better than letting them torture dad or watch them rip off all his fingers,” she responds. She is trying to be strong but I know how much this affects her.
“Doing menial jobs is not going to fetch us that money in three weeks,” I shook my head
“I know Aria, but we can raise something to keep them off for a little while longer,” she says.
“I can also go to the town square, I may be able to do a few things there,” I added. Only a miracle can get us out of this situation, but we have to try.
Audrey deposits herself on her bed opposite me, at the same time that a knock sounds on the door.
“Audrey? Aria?” dad’s voice called from the other end. I pursed my lips, and before I can tell him to f**k off, he allows himself in.
“No one asked you to come in,” I groaned.
“Hey,”
I flipped to face the wall so that my back was facing him. Audrey could listen to whatever he had to say, I’m not interested. The bed dips beside me and he sits.
“Go away father, I’m not going to sell myself to pay your debts,” I say harshly.
“I know how it sounds and I’m sorry I suggested it,” he says softly
I scoffed “No you’re not. I bet mum put you up to this,” I retorted.
“No, no, she didn’t have to,” he paused. “I’m sorry. I won’t force you into anything Aria,”
“So, you’re going to try to convince me,” I snarled.
He sighed “I’m a terrible parent, and many times I feel like giving up, but Peaches make me want to keep trying. She deserves someone better, someone that can take care of her, and maybe I’m underserving of her love, but every day all I want is to make her happy, to make all her sacrifices worth it, and I’m probably going about it the wrong way. I don’t know how I’m going to get out of this, and this is not me being selfish,” he says.
I sit up to face him, “So you are really going to try and convince me,” I say with disbelief.
“Dad,” Audrey says warningly.
“I promise I’m leaving the streets once this is cleared out, for real,” he adds.
“This isn’t fair father,” Audrey says.
“Life has never been fair to us Audrey. People do worse things to survive. It’s tough out there you know. It sounds absurd, but it’s our best bet now. I shouldn’t be asking this of you Aria,” he turns to face me, but I just glare at him with disgust in my eyes.
“Heaven knows I feel terrible that things have to get to this phase, but it is what it is, and I am not saying you agree to my idea right away, but please just think about it,” He finishes.
I can’t remember the last time I shed a tear. I mean I just watched those men beat him up and I wasn’t moved to tears, but right now I am seriously fighting back tears.
“Mum made a mistake with you,” I say unable to hide the quiver in my voice.
“Aria…” his voice trailed off when Audrey interrupts him.
“We are going to work to see what we can raise before the said time. Aria is not going to give her body to a man like Pablo, or whatever his name is. She’s not going to sell her self-worth because of a mistake you made,” Audrey says angrily. Audrey may not be in support of dad’s gambling habits but she loved him. She made up excuses for him many times and seeing her speak to him like this, I knew she too has had about enough.
“You think you can raise a hundred and ninety grand by working in three weeks? you barely saved up ten thousand from years of working, yet you think you can raise hundreds of thousands in three weeks?” he had the audacity to sound angry.
“Father!” Audrey exclaimed. How can he even say that to her?
“Leave!” I screamed.
Father jerked up at the tone of my voice, his arms flying in the air in surrender “Ok, ok, I’m sorry. That was insensitive of me, I’m sorry”
Sometimes when I’m angry like now, I feel like something else takes over my body. It’s something I can’t tell anyone because it feels weird, but there are times when I also have conversations with this tiny voice in my head.
He paused at the door to stare at me one last time before leaving. Audrey is staring at me a little surprised. It’s not the first time she would hear me use that tone of voice on anyone, but maybe I sounded more authoritative than ever. At this point I just want to be alone, and far away from this house. So, I jumped up, grabbed my purse and stormed out of the house.