Wilderness: Midnight Sun 1

1. Brock

1

Brock

The Alaskan wilderness stretched around me as far as I could see, mountains cutting the sky shut on all sides of the horizon, offering what I sought—that f*****g high, that rush of life coming at me, screaming—daring—me to grab hold and ride the storm. Rugged and untamed, the land called to me in a way I hadn’t experienced in far too long.

I’d left the East Coast in search of solitude away from the public eye and the judgmental stares of those who recognized my face from being plastered over the news two years earlier. Need to prove myself kept me driving away from Fairbanks, a lone cabin, off-grid and out in the woods, my final destination.

Mom had asked while hugging me goodbye if I would ever return to Boston. I doubted it.

Unless a grizzly decided I would make a tasty snack, I planned on growing gray-haired and hobble-y far from man—or woman. I’d seen a half-dozen of the huge, hairy fuckers in the past couple of days, and I’ll admit to a bit of fear at the thought of being faced with one. Way bigger than my six feet if standing on its hind legs, way broader than my wide shoulders, one of those brown, bushy bears would take me down with one damn swipe of its massive paws.

Nightmares from my childhood contained snarling grizzlies and still shivered my skin—but bring on the snow, ice, and howling wind. Bring on the negative temperatures and snug log cabin smelling of wood smoke and roasting wild game.

I’d outfitted myself with the best money could buy, and the supplies packed underneath the fiberglass cap of my truck spoke truth of that fact.

The old man’s cabin I’d bought off his son six months earlier had come fully furnished, and I’d bought the property as-is without having seen more than online pictures. No electricity. No running water. No sewage. No heat other than what I would supply by hand with my chainsaw and axe.

I’d climbed the highest mountains. Gone spelunking in the deepest caves. Thrown myself out of planes with nothing more than a sheet of nylon to keep me from face-splatting on the earth. Deep sea diving had placed me in shark territory. Anything that offered an adrenaline rush drew me in like a red, waving flag to a bull hell-bent on defeating its opponent.

One mistake, one second of losing focus, had made me responsible for three deaths—and had left me sitting with therapist after therapist trying to deal with survivor’s guilt. It was time to move the f**k on.

Start my next adventure.

My lips twitched into a grin as I passed a worn-down sign announcing the next s**t town—if it could even be called such. No stop lights, no sprawling shopping center. One bar and one motel-like place in desperate need of a coat of paint flanked the road with a few other dilapidated buildings farther up the two-lane highway.

I pulled into the motel’s gravel parking lot, having already made reservations for the night.

In the morning, I would head an hour up the road to the airstrip of Midnight Sun Charter and fly out into the wilderness where I would be reborn. Having come highly recommended by a friend of a friend of a friend, we’d discussed details by email, confirming for a morning flight including all my supplies.

I could have gone with the bigger charter service out of Fairbanks, but I’d always been a supporter of the local businesses, the small fish in the pond who tended to scurry and be ever watchful in order to fill its belly. You wouldn’t get laziness from those boys—something I couldn’t stand in myself or others. Deep in the wilds, there wouldn’t be time for lackadaisical attitudes. If I didn’t work, I didn’t eat. Didn’t enjoy heat. Didn’t get to rest comfortably.

Yearning to start the challenge ahead of me pumped adrenaline through my system, and I knew attempting sleep before nine would be an absolute joke.

A turn of the key shut my truck down, and I drank in the silence I’d never had issue with. While my brother needed the chatter and phones in our family’s office building back in downtown Boston, I hadn’t been able to stand the f*****g place with its constant noise. As the oldest, he would be taking over when Dad decided to retire. But he’d be running the business alone—without me or his fiancé whose death I’d been responsible for. Not that he’d wanted me within fifty yards of him since.

Lips in a grim line, I hopped out of my truck into the cool evening, giving my stiff, aching leg a few seconds to relax. Determined to focus on the present rather than the past like my therapists suggested, I filled my lungs with clean air scented with soil and pine.

Country music played from somewhere behind me, and I turned, taking note of the propped open doorway of the pub across the street. With it being the only food joint around from what I could tell, I planned on heading there once settled. A car door slammed, and a horn honked somewhere close by, drawing my gaze around an area too settled for my taste. Less than a dozen people meandered in the vicinity, but I drew each and every ones’ stares.

Stranger in town, just passing through—at least that’s what I told anyone curious enough to ask. And there’d been plenty of nosy fuckers every place I’d stopped on my trek across the continent.

Stretching out my neck, I started off toward the door stating Office in faded white lettering, my bum leg loosening with each step. The old woman manning the desk handed over a key in exchange for cash—no signature, no credit card on file. No questions either, surprisingly. No Wi-Fi, something I would gladly live without.

Needing to make a few calls before hiding myself away, I let myself into my room and dropped my overnight bag onto the double bed. Worn out bedspread, saggy mattress in the middle, and limp pillows didn’t promise a good night’s sleep, but I hadn’t slept more than four hours straight in two years, anyway. Even with help from meds, I couldn’t find rest. Night after night, my mind went to that day that had changed the course of my life.

Dropping onto the bed, I grimaced at the squeaking box spring, and powered my satellite phone to life. I’d paid a pretty penny for the damn thing only because my mom insisted I have some means of communication.

I called Mom first, letting her know I’d made it safely to Alaska, offering my final goodbyes to her and Dad once she put me on speaker phone so he could hear. She promised to call me on my birthday, at Thanksgiving, and Christmas. She shed a few tears, but my eyes remained dry as the dust in the Sahara I’d gotten my fill of. While I loved my family, things hadn’t been the same since I’d killed the love of my brother’s life.

I missed my buddies more than my blood. If s**t got too real out there in no-man’s land, they’d be the first I would reach out to. I’d set up a 4-man text group prior to leaving the Boston area, and we’d been in touch throughout my cross-country trek. Adam seemed the most disapproving with the route I’d decided to take with my life, but having a couple of kids, I thought, would change a man’s mind on living a selfish life.

I didn’t want kids. No f*****g thank you.

Rian and his woman were still trying, last I’d heard.

Both Jordan and Garret also had rug rats—one each.

Once their marriages had turned into families, they’d stopped congregating at Adam’s estate up in New Hampshire to play in the old church he’d outfitted into a b**m paradise. Not that I’d ever partaken in their lifestyle. Knew all about it, though. Knew how all three men met their submissive wives, went to their weddings, and watched them tie knots with their claimed soul mates.

Personally, I didn’t think such a thing existed. I’d had my fair share of women and not a single one had tempted me into offering a chance at forever. I had too much living to do, and since the accident, I knew I never wanted to be responsible for another soul ever again.

My final night in society, I texted the group.

Of course, Jordan’s reply came through first. Any p***y to be had?

Me: Haven’t gone looking.

Jordan: Get your a*s in gear, man. You’re going to be shut up with nothing but your goddamn fist.

Adam: If that isn’t deterrent enough…

I ignored Adam’s invite to argue. Been there, done that, and nothing would change my mind.

Rian: Best of luck out there, buddy

Jordan’s, I hope you find peace, my friend, came through at the same time.

Feeling as though I’d already started to, I found my lips twitching again. I will, I texted back.

Garrett: May your cupboards be full, and may you find a cute little Eskimo woman to warm your lumpy mattress in that ramshackled s**t box you spent good money on.

Jordan: He likes blondes, asshole.

Rian: Didn’t you date a redhead once?

Chuckling, I shot back a thumbs up. Let the fuckers take it however the hell they wanted. I did spend too much for my wilderness getaway like Garrett had said, but the cost hadn’t dented my bank account or investments.

Adam: I give him three months.

Me: Before? A frown dented my brow. Fucker hadn’t been anything but a Debbie Downer since I’d told them I was going off-grid.

Adam: You’re on the hunt for p***y. Might want to consider taking a goat along. Fresh milk and all that.

I barked a laugh. Go f**k yourself.

Adam: A hole is a hole is a hole…

Garrett: Sick f**k. Leave the man alone.

Rian: I gotta side with Adam on this one.

Jordan steered the conversation, telling me to take care of myself and call at any time, for any reason. The other three chimed in with the same.

A pang of something I couldn’t name ached through my chest, and I rubbed over my pecs before replying. Water stains ran across the motel room’s ceiling, its lone light bulb in the middle of the room barely illuminating the chair and small table in the far corner. Nothing like the five-star hotels I’d stayed in across the world.

I wouldn’t want to be any place else, though.

Deciding on one last text before powering my phone down, I took my time typing out the words to my best friends—just in case they were my last. f**k knew what the morning would bring. My first flight since the day that Old Betsy went down...

Throat swelling, I read over my text.

Thank you all for your friendship, especially over the last couple of years. I appreciate your loyalty even when half of my family turned their backs on me. I’m not saying goodbye for good, but if this is my last adventure in life, know that I’ll be thinking of you when my life flashes before my eyes. Take care of yourselves, love the hell out of your wives, and kiss all those cute brats for me. Rian, best of luck in knocking up your sexy little Luna. I’ll see you on the other side.

Lips pressed in a tight line, I hit send and turned off my phone.

Time for one last burger, fries, and a couple of beers. Hopefully, the s**t hole across the road could make my last night around humans a good one.