Women And the Demons Who Love Them

Hiraeth-4

Linkin Park- Easier To Run

    The day went by a little too slow for both Kaleb and Carter. It had dragged on late into the night and past midnight. She then had to take him back to the hotel he had been staying in to pick up his car. The two of them were exhausted by the time they were both behind the wheel of their cars.

    "You own a house? Why?" Kaleb asked Carter once they pulled up to her house. "This is a big ass house for just one person," 

    "It was my grandparent's house. My dad inherited it and now it belongs to me along with some other places. It's nice," she shrugged, locking her car. He locked his car as well. Not sure why this place looks like cops patrol it all night long. 

    This is the only place she has no memory of. Her grandmother, Carter Madison the first had died when Carter's mother was pregnant. It's why she was named after her. This house is the only place she could walk through that belongs to her family. She had chosen this place when she turned eighteen. She stays there when she wants to be completely alone. 

    The house looks like something out of a movie, Kaleb thought. Helena, Kaleb's twelve-year-old daughter would love this place. The yard even covered in a thick layer of snow is grand. The gate around it looks like it was designed specifically for this house. None of the other houses on this block compare to this one. 

    "Uh, sometimes during the day, Charlie will be walking around. She's my housekeeper. If she scares you know that she didn't break-in. She's a tall, chubby, African American older woman," he nodded wondering how she could afford all of this on her salary. "Pick a room. Mine is that one. The double doors. There is another one down that way," she said pointing in the opposite direction. "There are four more upstairs. I hardly go up there. The kitchen is through that door it also leads to the dining room. The living room is right there. The game room is that one. Feel free to move around as you please," 

    "How can you afford all of this?" 

    "My parents and my grandparents had a lot of money. I got all of it when I turned eighteen," 

    "Why do you work?" 

    "So, I don't hang myself from that," she said pointing above her head. He looked up at the massive chandelier hanging from the high ceiling. She has a dark sense of humor, he thought. "Hey, I'm not going to stand here and pretend like I know what you're going through but I know you being alone right now isn't a good idea," 

    "You do this with all your partners?" he asked. She scratched her forehead. 

    "My last partner decided she wanted to become a nurse instead. I think we fought more than we got along. The one before that moved to Utah. I think Sanders and I have been the only two homicide detectives who have stayed here since training. It's pretty here and that's all this place has. You're actually the first person from work I've invited here," 

    "Why?" he asked looking around. Surely she's not embarrassed. 

    "You should call your kids. No, it's a little late for that. Maybe take some pictures and send them to them. Try not to think about what we saw today. You want a drink?" 

    "Should I drink?" he asked looking down at his duffle bag a little ashamed of the condition she had found him in this morning. 

    "First night is always the hardest. You don't like change. You've lost a lot but it's time to try and get back up. If you think you shouldn't be drinking don't," 

    "You read my file?" 

    "I read what I needed to read. You're a good guy. That's all I need to know. The chief briefed me when I told him I didn't think this was going to work," 

    "And you think it'll work now?" 

    "No, what I'm hoping happens is, you get back up on your feet and you go home. I have to help you in order to keep my job. I have to show the commissioner I can play well with others or he's going to fire me. I like what I do. It gives me a purpose. I have nothing without this," she said going over to the kitchen. 

    The timer on the stove reads three fourteen. There is a pot that wasn't there when she had left for work. Charlie must have made Carter dinner when she realized it was going to be a long night. A note on the fridge let her know that Charlie wasn't going to be coming by in a couple of weeks. She's going to New Orleans to visit her son for the holidays.

    "His name was Jacob," Kaleb said watching her move around. Whatever is in that pot, it smells really good. "My partner. We worked together for nine years. Two ex-wives, him. Five kids. Two mine, three his. Our oldest daughters share a birthday on Valentine's Day. We grew up together," 

She stopped for an instant before she opened the cupboards up to get two bowls. 

    "Do you like beef stew?" she asked. 

    "Hell yeah," he answered sitting at the island in the center of the kitchen. 

    "What happened?" she asked knowing he needed to let it out. 

    "Have you heard of Martin Alvares?"

    "El Sapo. Runs a big portion of the h****n drug trade in TJ," she answered pouring hot soup into the two bowls. 

    "We had him. I told Jake we should wait for back up but he was so sure there were only three of them inside. We walked into the middle of a f*****g war between Alvares and Cheppa Hernandez," 

    "f**k," she said setting the hot bowl in front of him. She sat down across from him. 

    "I was shot three times. I barely made it out. He took most of the fire. We got Hernandez but our objective got away," 

    "What about your wife? Did you mistreat her?" he looked at Carter sideways. 

    "That f*****g b***h," he chuckled. "Cullen, he turns eight on Christmas day. It took her eight years to tell me that he wasn't mine and that she wasn't entirely sure that Helena was mine either. When she heard that I had survived and he didn't she told me she wished it had been me. They had both been filing for divorce. With the payout from catching Alvares, he was going to transfer. They were moving to Florida," 

    "f**k," was all she could say. That was not something she was expecting at all. Poor guy was played like a chump. 

    "I'm here so I can keep my job. Ao that I can get my daughter back. She was pissed when the results came back. Oliveras is Jacob's sister and that f*****g b***h knew the entire time. Thinking back at all of it now, I saw the signs. Helena tried to tell me a couple of years ago and I told her she was too young to understand that adults can be just friends. I mean who would ever think that?" he looked down at the hot bowl of soup shaking his head. 

    "Try it," she suggested handing him a spoon. "Charlie makes this for me every time I finish a case. She thinks there is spiritual healing in it," 

    "What do you think?" he asked. 

    "I think she's full of s**t but it's the greatest thing I've ever eaten and I love to eat," 

    He took a deep breath and began to shovel the soup trying to cool it down. As soon as the hot liquid touched his tongue an explosion of flavor erupted in his mouth and for a second he forgot about everything else. She smiled spooning some soup into her mouth while she watched Kaleb eat the soup like he hadn't eaten in days. She pushed her half-eaten bowl at him before taking his empty one to wash it in the sink. 

    "I think she might be right," he said once he was done. He placed the bowl in the sink. "Thank you," 

    "Yeah," she shrugged unable to look up at him. 

    "So, you're an orphan?" she nodded looking at the golden bracelet she was given when she turned thirteen and hadn't been adopted. "How long?" 

    "I was nine," she answered drying the bowls before putting them away. 

    "Do you remember?" she took a deep breath fighting back the images that flood her head. The blood, her father pleading for her mother's life, her mother screaming. 

    "Yes," she answered turning away from him. She shut her eyes popping her neck. The anxiety slowly creeping in, it never fails when she thinks about it. "I can't-" she tried to explain hoping he wouldn't probe for more. 

    "It's fine. How about you show me around? This place is beautiful. Don't want to look around alone," 

    She nodded without saying a word. Carter trembled as she walked out of the kitchen. He started talking about his daughter and who he thought had been his son. She gave him a walk through the house grateful that he had distracted her enough to get rid of the lingering anxiety that had threatened to take over. 

    "The wi-fi password is John Conner must die in all capital letters," 

    He picked the room on the other side of the house downstairs. Kaleb watched as Carter walked through the house alone turning the lights off before she shut herself in her bedroom. Kaleb had never seen anything like that. PTSD was something he had heard of. Never had he experienced it nor had he seen it. 

    Carter's eyes completely blanked like they had voided all emotion. Her body slowly began to tremble, her breathing hitched and all she had answered was the age of when she had become an orphan. He wished he had never asked the f*****g question. Despite everything he couldn't help but wonder who this woman is. He opened his laptop to find the name of her Wi-Fi is CyberNetJDay29. As soon as it was connected his laptop was flooded with emails from Helena. He turned his phone on to see that his voicemail was full.

-Daddy, please call me. 

-Daddy, I need you to call me, please.

-Daddy, mommy is not good. Please call me. 

    Before he read the rest, the phone was to his ear. He regretted his disappearing act now. He hadn't thought about anyone other than himself. The phone rang twice before she answered.

    "Daddy?" the sound of her voice came crashing down on him like a bucket of ice-cold water. 

    "Baby, what's going on? Are you okay?" 

    "Daddy, I'm at grandma Catie's house. Mom left me, dad. She left me here with her," his daughter began to cry breaking his heart. 

    "What about your brother? Where is Cullen?" he asked her. She sobbed a little more before she tried to clear her throat.

    "She said I wasn't her daughter anymore," more crying. He took a deep breath trying to stay calm before he erupted with anger. 

    "Smalls, can you get grandma, please?" he asked. 

    "Yeah," she cried.

    "Oh, sweetie," he heard his mother say when his daughter approached her. 

    "It's daddy," she cried. 

    "Kaleb?" the sound of his mom's voice is of relief. More than he cared to admit even to himself. 

    "Mom, what's happening?" he asked trying to fight the knot that formed in his throat at hearing his baby girl cry the way she is. 

    "Kaleb, Cas just dropped her off. I wasn't even home. She was crying under the porch when I arrived. She had all her things with her. I gave her your room. I hope you don't mind," 

    "No, mom. I don't. Have you tried to contact her?" 

    "Yes, and I called you as well. Your phone was off. Are you alright?" 

    "No, but that doesn't really matter right now. I'm going to talk to the Chief in the morning maybe he can help me. I'm sorry I didn't answer, mama. I probably wouldn't have been any help anyway," 

    "I know, Kay. Have you settled? Have you met him?" 

    "Her. Carter Madison is a woman and yes. I met her the day I arrived. She helped me. I'm actually staying with her. I'm staying in a room bigger than my old apartment," she chuckled at the little light he had expressed. It told her he's going to be fine.

    "I've got her, son. I can stand in court as a witness should you need it. Talk to her. She needs you right now," 

    "Can I speak with my daughter, mama?" he asked. 

    The only sound that came from the other line was the sound of his daughter's crying while his mother sang to her. He's willing to bet that she had her in her arms rocking her back and forth. Once she was ready she picked up the phone and his strong girl cleared her throat and answered. 

    "I'm sorry, Daddy," she apologized as if she were ashamed for breaking down the way she had.

    "You have nothing to be sorry for, Smalls. None of this is your fault. Listen, I'm going to try and get to you as soon as I can. I'm going to talk to my new boss okay?" 

    "Daddy, is she coming back?" she asked him a new wave of low heartbroken sobs came over her.

    "She will, Helena. It might not be as fast as you want her to but she will come back for you one day. Mommy is just having a hard time right now. A lot is happening really fast. Neither one of us were prepared for that. She's going to come back, baby. I promise you," 

    "Daddy, I want to go with you. I miss you," 

    "I know, baby. I miss you too. As soon as I have news you'll be the first to know," 

    "Okay, Daddy,"

    "For now, I'm going to send some pictures I took for you. It's snowing here. It's everywhere," 

    "Really?" she asked excitedly. 

    "Yup, it's just like you described it in your essay. It's white and fluffy. Definitely ice cold," she laughed. "What time is there?" 

    "Seven-fifteen. I have to get ready for school," 

    "Okay, Smalls. I want you to be good for Grandma, okay? Remember she can't be running after you. Help her with whatever she needs. Make sure you do your homework," 

    "I promise," she whispered. "Daddy?"

    "Yeah?" 

    "You are going to come back for me right?" his heart skipped. 

    "I would go and get you right now if I could, Helena. I swear you're going to be with me again," 

    "You pinky promise?" 

    "I double pinky promise," 

She giggled. "You said it, daddy. You can never ever break a double pinky promise," 

    "I know," he smiled. 

    "I'm going to take a shower," 

    "Hey, this better be the last time you shower in the morning. You're supposed to shower before bed. Make sure your hair is dry before you leave the house. You better wear a jacket," 

    "Yes, dad," she groaned and he swears he could see her rolling her eyes. 

    "I love you," 

    "I love you too, daddy. I'll be waiting for your pictures. Save the world, super dad," she ended the call leaving him with bitter anger. He didn't think he'd have to dial this number ever again. He hit the record button hoping she'd say something that would help him get to his daughter faster.

    "What the f**k do you want?" the voice answered bitterly.

    "Are you serious? You left our daughter outside of my mom's house?" 

She scoffed. "She's not mine. She's yours. You're lucky I didn't make her walk there," 

    "She's your daughter, Casandra," Kaleb shouted. 

    "No, she's your daughter, Kaleb. I want nothing to do with either of you," 

    "What the hell is wrong with you? You can hate me all you want but she's a little girl and she's scared. Confused. Her mother just abandoned her on her grandmother's doorstep without an explanation. Is that what you want her growing up with?" 

    "I don't care. Let her grow up knowing I didn't want her because I don't. It should have been you. You should have been the one who died. I would trade you and her if it meant bringing him back. You will never be him. You will never add up to the man Jake was. You're worthless. A-pathetic excuse of a man. You should do that little girl a favor and leave her where she is. You should do us both a favor and just die, Kaleb," the line went dead. 

    He swallowed back the knot choking him up as tears slid down his face. There would be no sleep for him tonight or for the next couple of nights. He can't believe what's happening. He had to playback the conversation a few times and still couldn't believe what had come out of her venomous mouth. This is a little girl they're talking about. The same little girl she had carried in her body for eight and a half months, the little girl she woke up every morning to, the little girl who adored her mother. 

    "Good morning," Carter greeted him as she poured herself a cup of hot coffee.

    "Madison," was all he could muster. The tone he used made her set the coffee jug and her favorite mug down to turn around and look at him. 

    "What happened?" she asked not recognizing the tone he used. It's so broken. Filled with so much emotion. Those steel eyes of his are no better. The once cold steel is blazing with tears.

    "Casandra left my daughter on my mom's doorstep. She just dropped her off with all her belongings. She told her she didn't want her. My daughter is crying," the way he said it made her want to throw the coffee mug. 

    "Are you f*****g kidding me?" she asked taking a step closer to him. "Did you call your ex-wife?" 

    "Listen," he said holding the phone out for her. She took it in her hand and listened to the conversation. "I don't know what to do," 

    "Get ready. We're leaving," she instructed without saying another word. A chill ran up Kaleb's spine as she walked by him angrier than he had ever seen anyone before.