Rent a christian boyfriend

He was so open

It's really hard to want to hate someone but at the same time worry so much about them immensely. Eric never came home, I had waited and waited for him in the guest room, well supposedly his room. I called him multiple times, none stop until he eventually decided he would switch of his phone. Eric was selfish, it wasn't the first time I had to come to realize this. He was just illiberal, mean, narrow-minded, self-seeking. There was just so much I could say about him and the list would be endless. The thought of him aggravated me and the thought of me still caring about his well being thereafter, aggravated me even more.

I don't know what time I slept but I must have dozed off in the midst of waiting for Eric to come back. A tiny wave of fear, made itself known. I tried hard not to think about it but what if Eric had left and wasn't coming back. He didn't have much anyways, he could simply just up and leave if he wanted to. The only thing or clothing that I know he remotely cared more about was that black worn out leather jacket, he wore around. I knew he loved it, he never explained why but I just knew it was his favorite.

Deciding I should call him one more time before I went on to have a bath and face my parents downstairs for breakfast. I didn't even feel hungry.

The door to the guest room abruptly opened and in revealed Eric. I didn't miss the way he rolled his eyes when he saw me. I was a tad bit hurt but I was much more angry. His eyes were bloodshot red, I discovered whenever they were like that he had been drinking.

"It's 6am." I said breaking the silence, he rolled his eyes at me again.

"So what?" He retorted and I felt more provoked and out of humor.

"Eric who are you?" I said calmly staring at him. It really hit him, it really did... the flicker of realism in his eyes before flipping it off and pretending he didn't hear me.

"I'm Eric." He said sarcastically walking away from me but I immediately pulled him back using the hem of his leather jacket. He gave me a glare as he turned to look at me. A part of me didn't feel scared because I knew he wouldn't, he didn't have the heart to ever lay a hand on me; I was still intimidated.

"Eric, who are you really? I thought I knew you but I don't. Who the f**k are you? I'm tired of running in circles with you?" I almost yelled clearly resentful and out of temper.

"What do you want from me?"He yelled back. "I'm doing my part of the bargain so what's your bloody problem, woman?"

"You're doing your part of the bargain sure but why are you sleeping with me? Why are you treating me the way you do and making me feel special at one moment and making me feel like trash the next?"

We were just throwing questions at each other.

He clenched his jaw.

"Piss off, Leona!" He said cheerlessly. His British accent made it even more annoying. He had clearly insulted me. Suddenly I wasn't Leo anymore just Leona. Eric then sat down on the edge of the bed frustrated, I stood in front of him.

"You've clearly lost the plot." He said calmly. "You're as mad as a bag of ferrets."

"Excuse me?" I said a tad bit hurt.

"Could you be anymore of a plonker? I said piss off. Bloody hell the door is right there woman!"

"I'm not leaving and I'm not just going to stand here and let you insult me with your British whatever.." I yelled using my arms to sure how outraged I was. "You know what we call people like you in America, an asshole you're a f*****g asshole Eric."

Eric only rolled his eyes and it seemed like he did that a lot when he was annoyed.

"I already knew that thanks." He added.

"Do you care about anything at all?" I asked in a low tone. Realizing nothing affected him.

"Yes, I care about getting this money and getting the far f**k away from you, f*****g tosser."

Whatever that was it hurt.

"Eric, what's your deal with HIV?" I decided to just say it. Put it all out on the table.

He stiffened.

"Answer me." I said more softly now, standing right in front of him.

"I just don't want to do this bloody campaign, doesn't mean I have any deal with it." He said in an annoyed tone.

"When was the last time you got tested?" I asked and he let out a laugh if disbelief before standing up, towering over my height. He ran his hand through his black jet hair.

"Are you f*****g serious right now, Leona?" He laughed, it was an uneasy laugh.

"Serious as can be." I pursed my lips in a thin line.

"You think I'm HIV positive?" He asked clearly offended.

"You tell me." I crossed my arms.

"Wow, that's very rich coming from you."

"What's that suppose to mean?" I questioned.

"You should have asked me that before you willing took in my d**k raw.."

My heart skipped a beat, it hammered loudly.

"What are you trying to say?" I said my face probably looked like all the blood in it had been drained out and I looked like a ghost... appalled-

"I'm not trying to say anything, just piss off already." He let out an aggravated sigh.

"Eric.." I said slowly. "It's fine, you don't want to tell me. That's totally fine. I'm going to get tested today and you will go do as my father told you yesterday. It is after all your job to please my parents. If I find out that you had this and you didn't bother telling me because you're the most selfish person I have ever met. I won't forgive you, I will never forgive you and more than anything you will have to leave right after it. I don't ever want to see you again. I will hate you." I said calmly tears forming below my eyes, he blinked seeming touched by my words. "I wish I hated you right now because all you have done is insult me and lie to me and make a fool out of me and steal from me but I don't hate you. I can't hate you because I'm already head over heels for you. I can't help it. I don't use this word often but I love you Eric and for a moment I thought we really had something but I'm over it. You're too toxic for me and you were right. I deserve better, I really do deserve better than this."

I was about to leave after wiping my tears away. He pulled me back. I didn't intend to tell him how I really felt about him but it was slipped, I was overly emotional.

"Please let go of my arm.." I said sternly trying to compose my tears that seemed to be running down my cheeks.

"I'm not." He said. "I'm not sick, I could never do that to you. I know I'm an arsehole but I could never do that Leo. I'm not my Marino..." he said softly. For a minute I was calm but I didn't fully trust him.

"I don't trust you, I'm still going to get tested." I said turning back to look at him.

"You have every right not to trust me." He said steadily.

I was about to open the door and leave when he started talking.

"Erm Leo, I'm Eric Ricardo Delgado, born in Chadderton, Manchester, England, United Kingdom... Fourth of July."

I stopped midway-

To listen.

"I hate raisins." He said softly. "I'm not scared of death, just the thought of an unlived life. I chew gum more than anything. I have panic attacks when I'm in closed spaces. I get easily paranoid. I smoke when I'm stressed, worried and anxious. I can't stand cats but I love dogs. I'm scared of cats. I was diagnosed with bulimia at thirteen, I'd like to think I'm cured of it now but it comes and goes. It comes when I'm restless.. with you I'm never restless."

"My mother died when I was eleven. She... had HIV." He paused. "She has known and seen the symptoms for a long time but refused to get tested or do anything about it. She was in denial. She loved Marino so much and trusted him with her life. She didn't think he was capable of doing that. I remember-"

Eric was crying.

I felt the need to comfort him.

"For a long time I would ask her what was wrong and she would say she was okay, she was alright that was until she passed out at work. I was at school, I remember it like yesterday. My teacher called me and told me that my mom was in hospital and she wanted to see me. She went with me there, I saw my mom laid there... her once green eyes.... like yours now dull. She didn't have anyone but me. I was standing there in my grey uniform, my teacher on the door. My mom weakly hugged me and asked if I knew what HIV was and I shook my head then she explained and told me that she had it but she would be okay. The doctor said she would be okay even though it's at its highest stage, they have put her on ARV's and she would soon recover and pick up. I had no idea that she would die that day, after promising me that she would be alright and we would be okay. She told me to make her promise that I would never do that to any girl, especially the girl that I'm in love with."

I couldn't hold back my tears, I was crying for Eric, for his mom and how heavy my heart felt.

"She passed away that night and nothing was ever the same." Eric hiccuped.

"Marino was like a dog with two d***s. He slept with anything that walked. He was married back in Spain. He would travel a lot as Pair request of his job as a pilot. On his days off he obviously had some time to bring harlots and streetwalkers back to his hotel. That's when he met my mom when she was a second year college student. I guess things changed and he only wanted to be with her but never did he inform her of his status. I presume he caught on it after I was born because I don't have it."

I could tell it was hard for Eric to say it, say HIV. It was hard and I understood. I was happy he was opening up to me. I turned around to hug him tight, I felt he really needed it. For the longest of time, he just held me tight and my arms wrapped around his neck. This was my safe haven.

"You don't have to continue.." I whispered but he shook his head. "I want to continue, I want you to know.."

I used my thumb to wipe the tears away off his cheeks. He was so precious, to me, still remains my flame even if he couldn't keep me warm, i would keep him warm for the both of us. With the flame that he had instilled in me.

"I was forced to move to Spain with Marino and his wife and my half brother Luka. They treated me like s**t. It was the worst four years of my life. I had to learn the language quickly, it was hard for me to fit in to adapt in a new place. I failed sixth grade because Spanish was the home language and English was used as a first additional subject. I dedicated myself to learn it and I did. Marino was cold towards me, I never understood why? Maybe because I reminded him of my mother or that he was forced to take responsibility and stay with me after he had abandoned us when I was eight. Luka called me a few days ago informing me that his mother passed away, I guess she had it too. She never liked me, she would always shout at me for the pettiest things and make Marino beat me. They called it discipline. I had no one, I felt alone in a foreign country. I wrote to the British embassy when I was fifteen and told them that I wasn't staying in a good environment. I had my scars to prove it. They immediately sent me back to my home country and put me in foster care."

He stopped.

"It's okay, you don't have to go on." I told him. "You're very brave and I don't regret falling in love with you. Everything will be okay Eric."

"I get paranoid but whenever I'm with you for a second I forget and I'm happy." He said softly and my heart felt overwhelmed. He had not said he loved me back but I wouldn't be selfish enough to force it on me. Right now was about him and not about me. I had to clearly understand that, he had let his guard down and let me in.

"At the foster care, I met a girl named Debby Rodgers. She is the one that called the other time." He said softly and I nodded. We were laid on the bed, looking at the ceiling. I laid on his chest feeling his heart thud each second.

"She... she was my first everything. She was always there for me, she taught me a lot but it wasn't all good things. She was in Forster care but her brother wasn't because he was older than eighteen. She introduced me to the criminal life. Basically taught me how to survive on the streets. Her brother took me as his own. He was in and out of prison and part of this cartel that exported drugs. Debby's brother would tell us to go steal and all that. We did, for many years. I got arrested once and spent six months for shop lifting. We continued doing all this without getting arrested, we would do hijackings and robberies. As soon as I turned eighteen I was able to rent my own apartment and do well for myself. I thought I loved Debby, we moved in together and basically started out our life. My high school English teacher told me that I had the highest results on my A-level in our district and I was offered a place at the University of Manchester and a scholarship. I was beyond happy and took it so was Debby but Debby's brother wasn't because I didn't have time and I wasn't delivering my drug sales duties."

I listened carefully.

"So I started my first year perfectly, Bachelor of arts in education but my second year I performed so badly my scholarship dropped me after three warnings."

I giggled.

"You wanted to be a teacher?" I asked and he smiled giving me butterflies in my stomach. "Yeah my teacher helped me so much after my mom's death, I just wanted to be that someone to some kids out there."

"Ironic since you don't like kids." I added. He just shrugged. "I adore other people's kids not mine. I suppose this way I get to be a superhero make this ugly world a bit more gleeful for them."

I nodded, he was very thoughtful.

"Anyways I went back to staying with Debby and her brother. He planned this heist that turned out to be s**t. He was a bloody gannet, I tell ya. Dead from the neck up, not the smartest bean in the pot. We got arrested, all his previous crimes and murders were brought to light meaning he got a heavier sentence for over twenty-nine years and no parole. Luckily Debby took the fall for me and took all the blame. She told the police, I was never apart of it and I was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. She said I was very smart and I deserved a better life. I was thankful. They let me go. I had money saved up. I moved to London and started working as a driver delivering stuff. I got into a bad accident and they paid me off."

"So that part was true?" I questioned and he nodded.

"I decided I didn't want to be in Europe so I left. I only left after Marino passed away and he had requested me to visit him in hospital. In that process I changed my name to Michelson, my mom's last name. A part of me wonders what he had wanted to say but a part of me will always hate him for taking away my mother."

I had so many questions, did he love Debby? Ofcourse he did and I'm pretty sure he intended to be with her as soon as she gets out. Did he want to go back to finishing his degree? How did he actually feel about me? He could never love me more than Debby, she had done him a life favor? What was the $3500 for? Did he atleast like me?

I didn't want to pressurize him into answering these questions when he had just recently opened up. For now, I would let him breath. He really needed that.

Vote + Comment

Add to reading lists :D