Alpha Valerius

Every life begins with a spark.  Just like the sun sheds its rays upon a valley, somewhere in this accursed, giving life to the greenery that it beholds, we breathe life into our sprouts. We are born and raised- in a summer haze, in a winter daze. And, just like the tale tells of a human's life, we die.  So I, with these feeble hands of mine, decided to write this little story in hope that some would remember. That some would rejoice, that some would pass it on. As my memory fades, day by day, night by night, so does the fire within me. I do not have much to live for, nor do I have much to give. But even if I wish to pass on peacefully, the last spark keeps on egging me to write.  And so I shall. Beginning from...well the beginning. As all tales are told.  Let us go back to that summer, when the news of my engagement spread a jealous wildfire amongst my peers. When the news came, I didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to believe the words that were leaving my father's mouth, or the reassuring caresses of my mother's hands on my back. I didn't want to trust her encouraging words. My limbs were already numb, and my senses had already been locked, only the sense of reality remaining, as it slowly dawned on me. Standing there, in the common room, in front of my father, mother and sister, I was frozen in spot. There was no sound that came through my ears, that wasn't comprehended as nonsense and unimportant information. The only sentence that was ringing inside my head was the one with the word engagement. How could anything about that situation be okay? How could I possibly feel okay? I was horrified! Terrified even. And as moments passed, my father's happy figure slowly faded and the heat that appeared to haze my mind slowly polluted it. I was dazed and distraught.  But there was no strength in me to even produce a solid argument. Taking my sister's advice to not be so against it, I retired to my room to get ready for the ceremony. My father's business in the army wasn't paying off well. He was a branch officer in one of the leading headquarters of our pack, but he wasn't well recognized. Our family depended on him and my mother's work in the medical center. Over 10 headquarters spread throughout the  country our pack leader overtook, and somehow, our father managed to make it to a better position. But the income was horrible. There were other families to feed, pay and maintain. I understood that. Nonetheless, it took a lot out of me to accept that my father would be more in war, out in the open field, hanging at the teeth of an unfamiliar wolf and its mercy, than at home. His life was at stake and with the current situation between opposing packs, I was worried he wouldn't make it back home. Each time I saw him leave, I'd stare at the door waiting for him to come back. To receive a word that he's safe and doing well. I would watch as my mother sat on the sofa, near the window that looked out into the fields, occasionally, secretly, sending glances to the outside world. She would find disappointment every time, as there was no ashen figure covered in shadows, depicting a perfect image of her husbands body. Each time I would catch her in that seat, there was so much fear and anxiety, nervousness and stress, that I had to pick up on my studies to get rid of my thoughts. Burying my head in books, scripts and doctorates didn't help much, but it was easier than to long for those doors to open and for his scruffy, deep voice to boom through the house. For so long he would be gone, for so little he would be present, and it was no different than this particular time. The repetition of our actions was unnoticed by the clocks on our walls, but it was answered with gray skies and humid weather. For when my father did come back, he brought the negative emotions of the battlefield and the political decisions of power hungry men. The news devastated me. For him, they were the biggest deal of his life, and the biggest uprising for my family. But for me...it was a preparation  of a cage I could never escape from.  Today, on the day of celebration of our pack's victory, I got engaged. This news would delight some, but for me, it was an invisible chain around my neck. It wasn't willing, of course, I had no say in the decision. My marriage was quickly arranged and I was to meet my fiance at the ceremony. The celebratory ceremony for our pack, for our warriors and for our Alpha. And I was to marry one of the Generals. To be exact, I was to become a wife to the right hand of the Alpha. In one of the meetings, the General approached my father, on his own, willingly, aggressively, demanding that he gives him my hand in marriage. My dearest creator, who had raised me to be an independent, well-learned woman, agreed. The way that my father eagerly explained, conveyed, and delivered this unexpected news, I immediately knew that he hadn't given it much thought. Although I understood why, the rationale could not be found within the clogs that were turning in my mind. Now sitting in front of the mirror, absentmindedly applying makeup to my pale skin, I tried to wrap my head around this undeniable fact. My thoughts wondered and travelled, all the way to the man that was to take me as his wife. General Valerius, a powerful, fearful man that led our men to victory. Rumors say they never saw him smile or laugh. Other's say his charisma is big, his charm merciless, and his ego could beat our Alpha's. He was, coincidentally, another alpha that  stayed in the shadows, protecting and guarding the King's throne. Loyal and mysterious. Not many saw him, and those who did would sometimes tremble with fear when thinking of him. His name itself meant power and strength. I could only imagine how cold and dark that is. He had no mate. He, himself, believed that he didn't have one. The moon had simply condemned him to the life of loneliness, a path covered in blood and glory brought from war. An eternity without a partner. All foolish and overly polished tales, if you ask me, I thought to myself. There was no way that a man, as powerful as him, was such a beast from a fairy tale.  Then again, this does seem like a fairy tale. A beauty sold to the beast for power. As I finished with dressing, checking and double checking my attire for the evening, I realized I still had about 3 hours left before the ceremony. 3 hours to think about the whole thing my parents had brought upon me. 3 hours to accept the fact that I would no longer live a life of a free wolf, that I would no longer be a woman blooming amongst females as a single wolf, that I would have to drop everything, including my studies, to marry this man. The man who decided that it was fine, that it was right, good even, to rip away my wings and shove me in a cage.  Absent-mindedly, I rubbed my ring finger, the place where an engagement ring is supposed to be. Of course, there would be no proper proposal, this was an arranged marriage, and there would be no love, for this was only to benefit my family. It was only for my family to prosper. Are we so closed-minded that we would resort to the old ways? The heat suddenly got too much. I could feel it burn. It was scorching. For 20 years of my life, I've never felt this suffocated. My throat closed up and I suddenly felt like everything I ate today would come out. But I held it in. As always, I pretended that I was alright. As always, I suffered and endured this pain and unbearable heat in the deepest part of my stomach. As I sat down on the bed, to take a few breaths, I recollected my strength and looked up at the ceiling. Yes, it was hard. The prescription pills worked like magic, but they didn't cover up the fact that marked me for life. My condition was exceptional, as it is for a portion of civilians that live in our pack's territory. We were a minority. A rarity. Living day after day hidden from the sight of the predatory alphas.  But now I was to marry one. I was to be with one. I was to serve and bow my head to one. That realization almost sent me into a submissive state, in which I could hide and never have to come out. My belly was burning, my head was pounding, and yet I needed to face the one who would bound me to him for life. The 3 hours flew by in an instant. Before I realized, I was already down in the hallway, with my mother and sister tending to me like I'm a broken toy. I stood in front of the only big mirror in our house. Watching as the glitter on the dress flickered in the dim light of the hallway. The gown spread across the floor, hugging my body perfectly. Like it was made for this moment. The delicate parts of my feminine body were exposed, just enough to emit the nicest scent from my skin and the significantly suppressed pheromones. The hairstyle was fitting, the make up made my features look sharper, but could not reduce the softness of my eyes and the vulnerability they showed. My mother zoomed from left to right fixing and checking everything. Yapping, nagging, talking, but I heard none of it. Staring into my reflection, the eyes of the woman and wolf that were about to meet their fate, I realized that this was exactly what they wanted. What he wanted. I was the perfect bait. I looked like the perfect bait. It made me sick to my stomach.  I took one last glance in the mirror. Last night as a single lady. The thought made me chuckle, but it was soon overthrown by a painful pang in my chest.  I couldn't deny it. I was saddened. I was afraid. Terrified.  How couldn't I be.  In this world filled with werewolves and other predators, people like me were the perfect target. I knew why the alpha wanted me. Or... I at least suspected. Why would an alpha, one of the most important ones, want some girl that comes from a poor family? If I were someone else, that would be a question worth pondering on. And yet it was very simple, only an imbecile whose brain was fried for the entirety of his life wouldn't be able to piece the puzzle together. All the pieces aligned as I stepped out into the night. The summer breeze felt cool on my heated skin. The suppressants would soon kick in and I would be safe from the curious snouts of wolves that would be surrounding me tonight. I would be safe from all of them. All, except one. Somehow, that thought made the resentment appear. It was degrading. Scandalous. Pathetic. I despised it. But I knew it was true. My kind was cruel. Being on the bottom of the food chain was easy, but being treated as nothing more than breeding stock was simply derogatory. I knew why he asked for my hand. I knew why he chose me. I knew what his ego needed. I knew what the alpha inside wanted. He didn't want me. He wanted the omega.