Sebastian
We crash through the door, our lips connected as I grab ahold of her waist, pulling her body back against mine as I lift her up, encouraging her legs around my waist in booze-filled excitement and trepidation.
I push her against the wall, closing the door to ensure our privacy in this moment of... intimacy—my hand splays beside her pretty face, which I've studied many times.
Her cute button nose, thick lips and pronounced chin are all characteristics I've seen for many years.
Her tongue darts out, moistening her lips in her usual nervous trait, yet it encourages me to suck it into my mouth, tasting her saliva that still has the lingering taste of a Cosmo.
I haven't kissed this way in a while, in fact...
"Seb," she says, pulling at my hair as I drop my face in her breasts, kissing my way down between the valley of her mounds.
They are far larger than...
"Suck my n*****s," she requests, waylaying my thoughts for a second time.
I kiss the skin there, smelling the sweet scent of her perfume, which screams childish. A scent that defies maturity.
Something along the lines of marshmallows, sweets and cotton candy comes to mind.
Yet, in essence, I like it, and it drives me wild as her breast falls from the cup of her bra as I flip it down.
I do as she asks, taking the pebbled n****e into my mouth and sucking down on it rhythmically as I walk us to the bed that resides in the middle of the one-bed apartment.
Her back arches as I place her down, her breast coming with me as I hold onto it with my teeth.
She hooks her feet at my lower back, clinging to me as if she fears I might leave.
She giggles, her eyes alight with something awful, something that should have made me stop right there and then, but I rush my way through getting undressed, and I even rip her underwear from her before my rational thinking can take effect.
And then I'm pushing my way inside her, breaking through whatever resistance she gives until I'm balls deep inside of her, inside of a woman that isn't my wife.
I still momentarily, my body rebuking against me for what I've done, but I ignore my hatred, making sure to continue with my treachery as I will myself to continue.
But even in that mindset, the questions start. The realisation is dawning.
Why am I here with her?
How did we find ourselves here in her apartment?
How did I agree to this?
Each question breaks down my defences.
Each passing moment makes me realise that I do not need this.
And then Beth's voice is there in the back of my mind.
The hurt I know she would feel filtered through my subconscious.
How could you?
Why her?
You've broken your vows, Seb.
I... trusted you.
I stop, sitting back on my knees, misleading the girl before me. For my change in position doesn't faze... her.
She climbs on my lap, impaling herself with a grin, leaning in to kiss me as we had been a moment before.
But I turn my face, her lips landing on my cheek.
She hasn't cottoned on that I've changed my mind, and my hands on her waist must encourage her to move.
She bobs up and down on my length, taking me ferociously. Her teeth bite into her bottom lip as she moans and sighs.
Her breasts bounce on her small frame, and my eyes followed each ascent.
"Seb," she says my name, her orgasm spreading moisture over and around me.
I hadn't wanted that; that's precisely why I pulled back, but that's how she climaxed, her nails in my shoulders as I tried to push her away with my grip on her waist.
She still hasn't cottoned on. She was still none the wiser. But I can't keep her on me for one second more.
I push her away rather roughly, and finally, the penny drops. Her face portrays recognition.
And hurt, so much hurt.
"What's wrong?" She asks me, her brows pulling together, her lip wobbling like a child's when they are about to cry.
She never asked for this, but the night proved eventful.
"I'm sorry, Alexa, this shouldn't have happened," I tell her, turning away to sit at the edge of the mattress.
She crawls behind me, massaging my shoulders, kissing alongside my neck, up to my ear.
"It's hard to move on, but you're doing nothing wrong," she tries to encourage me— instead enraging me.
"I'll never move on. Beth was my wife. I promised myself to her... this. This was... a. A mistake."
"Until death do you part," she whispers under her breath.
"No! We'll never part," I huff, shrugging her off me, reaching for my trousers that lay at my feet.
I dress silently, and she remains quiet behind me on the bed. Her silence came off as a death threat.
I have no doubt she'll tell her brother, that Danny will hate me for this. And that makes regret filter through me, but anger surfaces just as equally.
Anger that I would cheat on Beth the first chance I got, that I'd break the vows I made.
I don't turn around, nor do I look back as I leave her apartment, closing the door quickly.
"You're a f*****g moron, Seb!" I mutter to myself as I shove my hands in my pockets and walk through the familiar walls of the flat hallways.
I break into the rain, the water cascading in diagonal ribbons as the wind carries it to the east of the building.
I should hail down a taxi or perhaps call Josh to take me home, but I decide to walk.
Walk to the other side of town to my house.
I look to the floor the whole way, chilling my body to the bone as I soak through.
My steps come second nature; I'm just putting one foot before the other as the water sobers me.
I'm unsure how long it takes me, but with the sun rising in the sky when I walk down our private driveway, my house looms ahead like a reminder of who I am.
Opening the door doesn't go so well; my fingers are numb as I pull out my keys, dropping them more than a few times, but I get there in the end.
I'd like to say Beth was there to greet me, but nothing but silence was there. An empty house, something like a carcass, in honesty.
Kicking my shoes off, I strip my clothes as I climb the stairs in the dark, relying on nothing but memory as I walk into my bedroom and through to my bathroom.
I drop the clothes on the shower floor, turning the faucet on. The water warms me, bringing life back into my hands and feet slowly.
And I scrub, I scrub my body so meticulously that I swear my skin is peeling off in layers.
But I can still feel her on me. I can still smell her, and I can only but imagine how Beth's feeling.
I have to get out eventually; I can't stay under the water all morning, and it's then that I see my reflection, the love bites along my neck. The skin marked purple where it shouldn't be.
My reflection disturbs me, and angers me more so.
"What the f**k did you do?" I scream at myself, punching the mirror out of despair.