Relinquish - His Second Chance

Chapter Eleven

Sebastian

"Seb," Bethany calls as I walk down the hall to our bedroom after gruesomely arguing with my toddler as I put Melody down for the night.

She's sat on her chair just inside our bedroom door, much as she has been since she appeared. Her legs crossed, hands in her lap as she looks at me sternly.

"My love," I can't help but grin, knowing that we'll have the night to ourselves, that we can reminisce and talk for as long as my body allows me to stay awake this evening.

"You need to be more forgiving with Melody; she's missing me," she warns, her distaste for my previous short temper evident. She always did disfavour my temper when it got the better of me.

Sighing, I sit on the bed, facing her as I have done every night since she appeared. Her beautiful face beamed back at me as she tried not to smile despite her evident anger.

I play with her, smirking to myself, encouraging her lack of control as she beams at me before shaking her head. I always was able to make her bashful, and now's no different, especially as I've come to accept her in this form.

"I know... I'll try harder, I promise."

She nods after a moment of clarity, moving to stand only to walk to me at the end of the bed, her fingers reaching out to touch my hair in the exact manner she had when she was alive.

Her face is one of concentration as she feels my hair rub against her hand.

I'm aware she's not really there, that her fingers aren't really weaved in my hair, but it's almost as if I can feel her. So I close my eyes and imagine that I truly am before her and that she is playing with my hair as she did every night since we got together.

"I love you," she sighs sadly, and in turn, I sigh too, mimicking her upset because I genuinely love her too, beyond any words that could describe the emotion.

"I miss you... I wish I could feel your skin against mine. Wish this interaction could be real," I admit sombrely.

"They are real, my darling."

"They're not... I'm pretty sure I'm going crazy."

"I promise that isn't the case, Sebastian. I wouldn't allow it."

I fall back on the bed, circling my arms around her and to my surprise, she comes with me, but as my back hits the mattress, she disappears, and my arms fall to my chest.

"The law of gravity isn't the same here," she admits, making me roll to my side to stare at her lying on my side of the bed.

Her head is on my pillow, and I yearn to reach out to touch her, but something inside me tells me not to, so I refrain unhappily.

"The nights are lonely now; I yearn to hold your body close, Beth."

"I yearn for you also, Seb."

"This is so unfair..."

"I know," is all she manages as her voice croaks with sadness.

We fall into silence, staring at one another as the minutes tick by, the clock an enemy as it announces the seconds like the sirens for an air raid from the 1940s.

She reaches out, her hand stroking my cheek, sending shivers down my spine as my cheek cools to her touch, leaving me questioning how my body reacts to my mind, fortifying her presence.

Is this normal?

Does everyone go through seeing their dead loved one?

"Stop questioning your sanity, Seb."

"How'd..." I start to ask, but she gives me one of those knowing looks. One I'm very familiar with. It makes me laugh; the thought of questioning her ability to read me like one of her favourite books, a pastime she perfected long ago, seems almost rude.

"I'm here, my love. For now, I'm here with you."

"Promise you'll stay here with us forever?" I ask, grasping onto the need to have my wife close, even if, in this form, she seems to be lingering in.

"I'll stay for as long as possible...." She whispers.

"Til death brings us together again..." I mutter.

———

"Mama... Mama, come," Melody's sweet voice awakens me in the dead of night. I find she's at the end of my bed, her blanket in hand and her small teddy that Beth had made her under her armpit and to my surprise, she's holding her mother's hand as they stare at one another, Beth rubbing Melody's cheek with her thumb as they clearly interact as I have been with Beth.

I watched, confused, perhaps even amazed. Yet, my amazement soon turns to anger and fright as a part of me from deep within recognises that I shouldn't proactively encourage Melody to pretend her mother is indeed here with us.

She needs to grieve, and accept her mother is gone. Just like you...

"What is it, Melody?" I ask, ignoring Beth's existence and making no mention of her holding onto her mother's hand, and equally, I avoid eye contact with Beth. Intent on ensuring she knows I won't actively interact with her in Melody's presence.

"Up," she exclaims, pointing to my bed, to my side that Beth had been lying on just yesterday evening as we spoke about everything and nothing.

"Of course, come up," I encourage her, but much to my dismay, Beth comes too, lying behind Melody, her hand around her waist.

The three of us lay in silence, and I watched Melody with eager eyes until she fell asleep happily tucked up in front of the pair of us.

"Children hold less judgment to the things we adults cannot see; she can see me too, Seb," Beth tells me as Melody's eyes droop closed.

"I cannot actively encourage her to pretend you're here, Beth."

She nods, a sadness coming over her that breaks my heart. But it's a battle of two evils.

Allow my child to pretend her mother's here to mask her grieving. Or put a stop to this early on to aid Melody to move forward as quickly as possible.

"Do what feels best for the pair of you, Seb. There's no right or wrong way to move forward."

"Don't say it like that," I mutter, turning away from her as she kisses Melody's head.

"Like what?" She asks innocently.

"Like I've offended you in the past life."

"You haven't, Seb."

"Don't lie to me, Beth."

"Would I lie to you, Sebby?" She asks, her eyes rolling into the back of her head as if I have offended her now.

"Only when you want a spank, my love."

"Shh! Melody can still hear us," she tells me with heated cheeks.

"If only we could, I would make you scream until you creamed around me."

"Seb!"

I chuckle, reaching out to stroke her face, yet my hand goes through her down to Melody's hair. My heart is pinching that I'm no longer able to touch her as freely as I would like.

"I'm sorry, Seb."

"Don't be," I mumble.