Relinquish - His Second Chance

Chapter Eight

Sebastian

And so my parents and Beth's parents bid Melody and me farewell, and they packed their things. They sobbed uncontrollably, and then they said their shaky farewells as if it were the last time we would see one another.

I say 'they' loosely.

Because, in honesty, it was only mine and Beth's mother who cried at leaving us alone here in our r

Our fathers couldn't have cared less, showing no sign of emotional turmoil at the thought of the pair of us staying here whilst they left and entered back into the routine of their own lives.

To say I was relieved when I finally closed my front door and leaned my back against it would be an understatement.

Beth was there, of course, standing at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for me to make eye contact, but I refused, for Melody was sitting on the living room floor playing with some toys, right within earshot of her father, acknowledging this sanity blip.

Instead, I glanced only to her feet, willing her to disappear as I held my breath as if I could survive on nothing but sheer luck.

Eventually, I gasped at the air I needed, and I moved away from the front door towards the kitchen with purpose, purpose to ignore my surroundings and feed my need for something hard to drink.

In there, I brewed more coffee despite wanting something from the liquor cupboard, sipping at the hot liquid as I planned my following movements.

Time seemed to stand still as I assessed what I needed to do. And it wasn't until Melody came to me that I realised this would usually be her nap time.

She yawned, holding onto her favourite teddy as she asked for 'up', her little arms outstretched in the hopes that I would cuddle her.

She led my movements as I picked her up and headed to her room, leaving my coffee on the counter, only half drunk.

I read her a book as she lay on my chest in the rocking chair, and I watched as her eyes dropped closed, reciting the story of memory rather than reading the words off the page.

It took her a good twenty minutes of fighting that need to succumb to the tiredness her body was experiencing, but eventually, she was sound asleep against my chest as I rocked the chair back and forth at a steady and slow pace.

That was my cue to lay her down in bed, allowing her to sleep peacefully. To take the time she slept as my own personal time because god knows when I'll have some of that next.

But I found as the minutes ticked by that I could do nothing but stare at Melody. Her beautiful features relaxed and baby-like as she slept soundly.

Honestly, I think I needed the alone time with her; holding her close brought me a peace I had been searching for in my room for all these days.

And that's how I fell asleep with her, only waking when she did. Her soft voice encouraged me to awaken as she played on her bedroom floor.

Again, I watched her quietly. I studied her movements and imagination as she moved some of her animal figures around her rug clockwise.

I could have stayed there all day in the relative silence of her room as she was captured wholly by her role-play. But time was getting on, and I had no doubt she must have been ravenous.

So I moved from the chair, and I asked her what she would like to eat—the notion seeming somewhat foreign.

"Pasta," she had requested, giving me an easy out to cook her something more time-consuming.

Leaving her to play, I did just that, cooking her some fresh pasta that was living in the third drawer in the fridge as always.

It seems our parents ensured I had enough to survive for over a month. My eyes appraised the untold amount of precooked meals and easy meals to cook, littering both the fridge and freezer.

Had I been that out of it, to not have noticed them cooking up a storm and filling my fridge and freezer whilst they were at it?

"Melody!" I call when the pasta is done, mixing it with a precooked tomato sauce labelled just this morning.

She rushes towards me, smiling just for me as I help her into her chair and place her lilac suction bowl before her.

She digs right in, using her hands of, which she rubs all over her clothing. The red sauce smears widely over the pale yellow top that's now... ruined.

"That's what the apron is for," Beth announces, popping up behind Melody.

Our eyes connect, and I internally beg to her to disappear for fear I f**k up Melody more than she already probably is, and she bites back at my defiance, nodding her head out of the room to the foyer.

"Daddy will be right back," I tell Melody.

Melody simply smiles, looking over her shoulder at my retreat as I leave the kitchen to argue with my dead wife.

"You need to stop this," I tell her almost immediately.

"Stop what, Seb?" She questions sat down on the bottom step.

She looks almost regal, a glow that she had lacked in her last days finally enveloping her much as it had in those early days of our relationship.

"You can't be here when Melody is around. It's wrong... this is. I'm so f****d up," I admit.

"Seb..."

"Don't Seb me, I can see this for what it's worth. Just leave..." I spit angrily.

"You don't want that, Seb. I know you don't," she tells me with a palm to my chest.

Ice spreads, and chills reverberate around my blood as if I were in the cold of the mountains surrounded by sheets of snow.

Our eyes connect, and she snaps her hand back as if I electrocuted her right through the core of her being.

And that's how we stand for a long and silent moment. Neither one of us says a word, only looking at one another longingly before Melody's, 'dada', breaks the spell we had been under.

I blink, and Beth's gone completely disappeared from my sight, leaving me to warm up rapidly before I tend to our child.

Quit this s**t, Seb! I demand of myself.