Chapter Four
“And then we watched a movie,” Emma said, reaching a toe out to turn off the tub’s jets. Maybe recounting the story while in a bubble bath hadn’t been the best plan for relaxing, after all. It wasn’t just the hot water making her steam up. Not that she’d given too many details, but she’d certainly been thinking of them while telling her friend the edited version.
“You watched a movie?” Taryn asked over the cell phone, sounding incredulous.
“Well, what else were we supposed to do? We’d already had three amazing encounters in just a few hours. I think if we’d tried again we might have broken something.
“Hmm, I suppose so, but a movie only lasts two hours. What did you do after that?”
“He grilled steaks while I made a salad and then I left.”
“I can’t believe he didn’t ask you to stay the night. You did give him your number, didn’t you? Don’t tell me you’re going to leave this as a one-afternoon stand. I don’t think I’ll be able to live with it if you do.”
“Well, you’re safe for now. I gave him my number, and he gave me his. But he has to be at work at seven tomorrow morning and I needed to check into my hotel. You know I got this awesome deal from that website and it’s nonrefundable. Besides, I do have things I planned on doing here in Boston, you know.” She was beginning to think the scheduled trip to her club would be anticlimactic and unnecessary. She’d already gotten what she’d wanted.
“Tell me you made some firm plans, though.”
“We made tentative plans. He said he’d call me tomorrow.”
“Call you? That’s it?”
“Did you just harrumph?” Emma asked with a laugh.
Taryn made the noise again. “Maybe.”
“Look, Taryn, maybe it’s not the kind of thing you want to hear about, but hooking up with a hot guy for a hot encounter does not necessarily mean an automatic relationship. We’ll see how things progress. I’m not really looking for a serious boyfriend, not when I’m going to leave the state in a year.”
“But—”
“Taryn, let’s let it be for now, okay? I promise I’ll stop by your house on my way back into town. We’ll see where we’re at then.”
“Well, all right.” Taryn paused and Emma narrowed her eyes at the charged silence. “I should probably tell you that Caleb checked him out.”
She shot up, sloshing water over the side of the tub. “He what?”
“Calm down, it’s not really a bad thing. He just spoke to someone he knows at the police department, asked her about him professionally.”
“Damn it, Taryn, what if it gets back to Drew? What if his bosses think he’s trying to get a job with Caleb or something?”
“Emma. Seriously. Don’t you trust Caleb to know how to handle it without messing up?”
That calmed her down. She did trust Caleb and was certain that part of his job in the security business included getting delicate information. “Fine, but tell him I’m mad at him. Doesn’t he trust me to go on a date without picking a homicidal maniac?”
“He just did it because he cares about you.”
“Yeah, well.” She lay back down. The fabulous tub was one of the reason’s she’d chosen this hotel. “By the way, I forgot to say thanks for distracting him from the phone when I called to check in. I appreciate you and Richard taking one for the team.”
“Two.”
“What?”
“Well, we took two for the team.”
They both laughed and then said their goodbyes. Emma tossed the phone lightly to land on a towel where it would be safe, then closed her eyes. Sighing, she swirled the hot water up over her breasts then toyed with her necklace. When she’d bought it, she’d never imagined it leading to an encounter like what had happened that day. Her thoughts had been more along the lines of her need to embrace her alternative side as fully as possible this last year before heading back home.
It wasn’t that she planned on giving up the lifestyle completely. She didn’t think she’d do well in a vanilla relationship. But visits to b**m clubs would have to be few and very far between. Maybe a once yearly vacation to San Francisco. It was just too risky, playing any closer to home.
Though she fully understood that her need to please her parents wasn’t entirely healthy, she also knew that she could never risk hurting them by having them discover this side of her. She wasn’t ashamed, but she couldn’t expect them to understand, and didn’t want them to have to struggle with the shame that they would automatically feel for her.
As much as being a submissive was a part of who she was, so was keeping her family happy. Maybe it wasn’t the healthiest attitude in the world, but it worked for her. So she’d decided to have a little fling with her sexuality, and really make this year count. Then, when she graduated, she’d settle down into “real life” and figure out a balance between the two aspects that were so important to her.
Of course, she’d expected to have all her fun at the club. But maybe meeting Drew would give her a chance to figure out how to play with someone discreetly, outside the club scene. She leaned her head back and decided to stop worrying about the future for the rest of the night.
Instead, she could concentrate on the more mundane worry of whether Drew would actually call. She thought he would. There was just a tiny part of her that doubted. A totally and completely ridiculous worry, which was why she hadn’t mentioned it to Taryn.
Drew wasn’t some fraternity stud trying to rack notches on his belt. He was an adult, one who’d enjoyed his time with her as far as she could tell. She’d had her share of dates with losers who never called, she should be able to tell the difference between them and a stand-up guy by now. And she could. She was positive he would call. Positive she would see him.
Ugh, she was annoying herself. And being such a girl. Did guys have these ridiculous insecurities and tendencies to overthink every freaking thing? She suspected not. The bastards.
Laughing at herself, she bent her knees and submerged herself under the hot water for as long as her breath lasted. When she came up, she wiped hair and water from her face and pulled the plug on the tub. Careful not to fling water around, she dried her hands on the towel before moving her cell phone to the safety of the counter, then toweled herself dry.
The bathroom had a large mirror and when she dropped the towel and grabbed the plush robe, she stopped and stared at her reflection. She wasn’t an unattractive person, she knew that. She had what she considered a relatively appealing nature, and had never had too much trouble finding dates. But it had still been uncomfortable being in front of the mirror with Drew that afternoon, being more than bare to him. At least that’s how it had felt. And again, it wasn’t as if it was anything new. She’d been naked in front of complete strangers at the club. Somehow that was easier. The guys she hooked up with at the club were looking, but they weren’t looking at her. They were looking at the sub they’d selected for the night, trying to decide how they wanted to use her.
She wasn’t sure, exactly, how it had been different with Drew. Just like usual, he’d picked her because he’d known what she was, known what he could do with her, what she wanted from him. The fact that he’d picked her from a selection of one, rather than a room full of available subs should make her feel less chosen, not more. Right?
“Ugh!” Yanking the robe on, she turned from the mirror and left the bathroom. She was going to drive herself bonkers. The bed bounced as she flopped onto it, trying to decide what to do next. Her original plan had been to hit the club, but there was no way she was going tonight. For one thing, she felt plenty satiated. Plus, it just didn’t feel right. She sent a quick text to her friend Stephanie. Steph had been a member for ages and went on her own all the time, she wouldn’t feel abandoned that Emma was canceling.
Of course, Stephanie immediately responded back, thinking Emma needed encouragement or a pep-talk. Emma told her she had a hot date with a guy and would explain later. They made plans to meet at the nail salon the next day. And she was back to deciding what to do for now.
She could pull out her vibrator. She’d brought one along to get her revved up for her planned evening out, but that sure hadn’t turned out the way she’d expected. It was nearly ten, but she’d had a fairly exhausting day, all things considered. She left the vibrator in her bag, shucked the robe and climbed under the covers. Flipping through the channels netted her a romantic comedy about to start, and she settled in. Maybe watching someone else go through the paces would help keep her mind off her own situation.
She dreamt of him and woke up wet and aching. Without thinking about it too much, she grabbed her vibrator and brought herself to completion. It was satisfying, but not very. Not when she had the memory of his hands on her so fresh in her mind. It left her own attempts feeling sort of feeble. She came with a soft sigh and turned the toy off. She dozed some more until her cell phone rang. She checked the clock and saw that it wasn’t even eight. Nobody who knew her well would expect her to be up and about on a non-work day. The screen showed her that it was Drew. Someone who barely knew her, and yet knew her better than most.
“Hey.” She sounded soft and sleepy and cleared her throat, pulling herself up and stuffing pillows behind her back.
“Hey. Did I wake you up?” he asked, not sounding particularly sorry.
“Yes, but that was a little while ago.”
It took him a minute to figure out she meant her dreams, but then he chuckled. “Well, turnabout is fair play. I had a hell of a time getting to sleep last night.”
She smiled, but tried to keep it out of her voice. “Shouldn’t you be at work?”
“I am. Got clocked in and now I’m parked at a speed trap, enjoying my coffee and a donut.”
She laughed. “Mmm, does it have chocolate?”
“Nah, I prefer my coffee black.”
“That’s just boring. Didn’t I tell you I work at a coffee shop? I’ll whip you up something fantastic one of these days, and you’ll never go back to plain old black coffee.”
He waited a beat. “I’m sorry, I got stuck on whip and started visualizing you naked and in need of punishment. What did you say after that?”
She shivered. She wasn’t much into pain but couldn’t deny that occasionally being flogged by someone with skill was a nice treat. She inched her palm under the sheet so it lay flat on her stomach, and pretended the hand was his. “Nothing important,” she murmured.
He cleared his throat. “Right. Working here. And trying not to spill my clichéd meal.”
“And keeping Jackson safe from unruly speeders. You be careful how you treat them, you hear me?”
“Yes, ma’am. You about to get bossy on me?”
“I have my moments.”
“You sure do.” It sounded like a purr and she easily imagined the grin on his face.
“Should you be calling me while you’re working?” she asked.
“No. But sometimes you just have to be a rebel,” he said dryly.
She laughed. “Yeah, and sometimes being a rebel gets a girl ticketed.”
“Yes, but you took it like a trooper.”
She snorted, then tried to cover it up with a cough.
“Hey, you have a dangerous job. Don’t get distracted.” She tried to sound teasing but was pretty sure she failed.
“I’m careful, I promise. What about you? Out there in the big city today, you better be careful yourself. No hooking up with strange men and letting them take you into their homes, you hear me?”
“Yes, Officer, I hear you. I’ll only let normal men take me into their homes, no strange ones.”
“Ha. Ha.”
She giggled. “I’m careful, Drew. Hey, you know what happened yesterday was unique, right? I don’t normally let unknown guys have s*x with me. Well, outside of the clubs, I mean.” It suddenly seemed important to her that he know what had happened between them was out of the ordinary. In more ways than one.