Moments in Time

Chapter 4-2

I tamp the young man inside me down. “I do?”

I get a pointed gaze coming back.

“I’m busted, aren’t I?”

She nods. “Afraid so. Out with it.”

I pause. Should I put this out there? See where it goes? Okay, let’s do this. “Have you ever not felt like yourself, like suddenly, you don’t know who you are anymore?”

Okay, let’s do this“Wow, that’s…Wooph!” She whiffs her hand over her head. “But okay, yeah, I get it. I used to a long time ago when I was in high school. You don’t know what it’s like when you’re built. People look you up and down—don’t take you seriously. Anyway, I went around thinking I wasn’t good enough, so I’d let people take advantage of me so they’d like me. Pretty sad, huh?”

Her answer isn’t what I expect, and all at once I remember how I used to treat her like a bootie call sometimes when we were young and dating back in my old life. I avert my gaze so she won’t see how innocently she ran a dagger into me. Suddenly, I feel like a d**k.

* * *

The next morning I’m off to get Robbie for class again. It’s frustrating not having a cell phone in my pocket. I keep feeling for it and it’s not there. I’m n***d without it. And there’s no internet. I’m used to getting up in the morning and going online to check email. Not anymore. The internet’s not here yet and it won’t be for a few more years. This whole world that used to be my world is so alien—nothing works the same way.

I think about last night, what Monica said to me, about not feeling good enough and letting people take advantage of her (like me) so they’d like her, and then how she said that love is all that matters. It was like having cold water thrown in my face. It stunned me, made me think of how selfish and shallow I was in my other life.

I pull up to Robbie’s house. He’s outside again waiting for me. I watch him walk to my car and get in. He’s frowning. “Something wrong?” I say as he shuts the door.

Robbie drops his book bag on the floor and sits back. “Yeah, you could say that. Tiff dumped me! Some BS about us going different directions. What the f**k does that mean?”

My heart skips, and I feel my eyes widen. No, it can’t be her. “Sorry about that.”

No, it can’t be her.“Yeah, me, too. First the car, now this. This week’s total FUBAR.”

I pull away from the curb and say, “You guys been going together how long now…two, three years?” (Don’t ask me how I know this, I just do.)

“Almost three.” He frowns. “f**k it.” For the next ten minutes, he’s quiet and I don’t say anything. I’m too busy wondering about this Tiffany. Finally, he says, “You hit up Monie about Friday night down to The West?”

“Not yet. She was buried with homework last night. Tonight for sure.”

“Dude, I need you there, okay?”

I get a strong feeling he’s thinking Tiff will be in attendance. “One of us’ll be there for sure.”

He nods and looks out the window as I drive. I’m wondering if I’m about to meet the future smack in the face. If I am, it won’t be like the last time, and despite what it would mean for Ted and Crystal, I can’t say I would want it to be like it was before. I should beg off and have Monica go Friday night instead of me. Stay home with Tommy. Remove myself from the equation. But the way things are going with my life right now, I have a feeling I won’t have a say in any of it.

* * *

I pick up my son from the sitter and get home just as Monica pulls into the driveway. Tommy is out the door and running to his mother with the card he made in art class for her today. It’s fortunate I saw it before getting home, otherwise I would’ve blown off Monica’s birthday. I grab my satchel, my card, and a single red rose I picked up at Sweetheart Market from the front seat and follow him over. (A rose. Yeah, I know, I’m just going through the motions here, pretending to be the man she thinks I am. But hey, I’m doing the best I can.)

She collects Tommy in her arms, making a huge fuss over his card as I walk up. “Happy Birthday,” I say.

As she corrals our son in her arms, she takes the rose from me. “Wow, look at this pretty rose Padre got Madre,” she says to him.

Before Tommy can open his mouth, I say, “He helped me pick it out.” I wink at Tommy to let him know to play along.

Tommy bursts into a smile. “Padre was going to get the pink one, but I said get the red one.”

You hopped right on that train, didn’t you little guy? I laugh. “Yes he did,” I say, and step around the two of them to fetch her bag from the front seat. Setting Tommy down with his card, she takes her bag from me and the three of us walk to the house. When we get inside, I set our bags down and tell them I’m taking them both out to dinner tonight at Denny’s. I don’t get an argument.

You hopped right on that train, didn’t you little guy?Twenty minutes later we’re back in the car. The radio is pumping out “The Power of Love” by Huey Lewis and the News, and we’re all swaying to the beat and humming along. As the song ends, the DJ comes on talking about the weekend band fare around town. I’m not paying much attention, because I’m thinking things will be happening later tonight. (Yes, I went there.) When the guy on the radio brings up The Brigade coming to The West, I look up.

.“I almost forgot. Robbie wants us to meet him at The West on Friday. Tiffany dumped him, and with everyone being there—whoever “everyone” is, I have no idea— he wants some support in case she walks in.”

whoever “everyone” is, I have no idea“Tiff broke up with him? When?”

Uh-oh, they’re friends! “Last night, I guess. He’s pretty bummed about it.”

Uh-oh, they’re friends! “Aw damn. That’s awful. Did he say why?”

I shake my head. Women, and their need for details. “I have no idea.”

Women, and their need for details.Monica digs into her purse and pulls out her day planner. From the corner of my eye, I see her shaking her head. “I can’t do Friday unless I switch shifts with Linda. I can see if I can do her Sunday shift, I suppose.”

Just like I figured. Meeting Tiff is going to happen whether I want it to or not. “Never mind, I’ll go if I can find a sitter.”

Just like I figured. Meeting Tiff is going to happen whether I want it to or not. “I’m sure your mother will take him.”

My mother? I blink. Jesus. How could I forget her? Of course she’d still be alive, and so would my deadbeat father.

My mother? Jesus. How could I forget her? Of course she’d still be alive, and so would my deadbeat father.