Illusion

5

Jessie's POV

I slammed the door shut and run until I reach the couch. Instead of sitting on it, my body slip its way down to the ground like every other day, hugging my knees on the process.

Why do people hate me?

Why does everyone hate my presence, my existence?

Of course, that's how it's always is anyways.

He got mad because I did something wrong. Or maybe just my mere presence irked him.

Will it be better if I die?

I cried harder with my knees covering my eyes.

No one cares.

She painfully smirked.

I can die on this stupid apartment and no one will know.

Well, her stepdad maybe but when? After a month?

She threw the pillow behind her.

Unintentionally, a small smirk went out of her lips.

Never once she blames her stepdad about everything that had happened on her life.

It's not his fault that her parents left her when she was five.

It was hers.

Maybe because I was too ugly.

Or maybe I bring bad luck.

Whatever it is, it's all because of me.

So it's definitely not my stepdad's fault that she's alone and she's afraid to be with people. If not, he'd given me a house, clothes, food and education.

Of course, she was thankful but she's not happy.

Why? Because she needs comfort, love, safety, guidance.

She needs home.

She wants a family.

Yes, family... Something that's impossible for her to have.

To be honest, she's so thankful for everything that her stepdad had given her, but she knows that he did it because he needed something for her. The good side? She gets to live her life the way she wanted.

She has freedom regardless how broken she feels; how empty she feels inside.

Maybe that's her destiny. That's what she always thought.

She's destined to be alone, to live like she isn't existing.

She's a nobody anyway.

She looked up to the ceiling, tears still streaming down her cheeks.

She's so used to this scenario.

She remembered on her third grade, her schoolmates would always bully her for being an orphan.

She'd go home so upset but no one cared.

During sixth grade, her classmates locked her up on a storage room and nobody noticed.

She almost died due to the cold. She wished that she did but no.

She was able to come out the next day when the caretaker opened it.

I cried a lot. I feel like I'm dying but no one knew, not even my stepdad. I didn't even bother telling him.

Nobody noticed that I wasn't home anyways. What's the use of telling other people? It's not like they would do something about it.

During middle school, my classmates threw all of my things on the toilet. I didn't tell a soul.

Somehow, I got used to it.

It was before I graduated from middle school when one of my classmates decided that it's fun to cut my wrist with a knife.

Too bad, I didn't die but I wish I did.

My teacher found out about it and I was sent to the hospital. They thought I tried to kill myself. I didn't even correct them. What's the point anyways?

That's when my stepdad decided that I get home schooled moving forward. I'm not sure how but it seems the he knew there was something going on at school.

He talked to me about. That, I appreciate but I was stone-cold those days. I would basically blackout people.

She closed her eyes.

Just one soul...

"I wish there would at least be one person who would be lonely when I'm gone..."

But that's a little impossible.

---------

Yohan's POV

He mess his hair with his right hand.

Great. So basically, Josh hyung decided that I should go and apologize to that girl because obviously, I was stupid.

I don't want to but heck, he kicked me out of the unit. He's older so I can't just smack his head.

I don't even know her name or I know I had a brief glimpse on her face but I was too angry that I wasn't paying any attention.

Come to think of it. She was so busy staring at the ground I was not even given a chance to take a good glance on her face.

Is she ugly or something? Not that I cared anyways. I'm not a person to judge people by their looks. I'm not even a looker myself.

I sigh. I walked closer to her unit and stopped just right outside of her door, contemplating if I should knock or ring her doorbell instead.

I knew I was a little mean earlier but hey, I just woke up and I was having a little headache. And she was messing with my things anyway.

And my song, she was playing it. She shouldn’t have. It was for her.

I raised my right hand to aim for a knock but once my knuckles made contact with the door frame, it screeched a little and opened.

She forgot to close her door properly.

I put a mental note to remind her about it. What if she accidentally forgot to close our door as well?

God knows when our obsessive fans would find our new place as well. Though the security on the lobby was pretty much strict, we don't really now, right?

After mentally arguing with myself if I should call her or just enter the damn room, I decided to do the second after I realized that I don't know her name anyways.

Once I pushed the door, I noticed how the room was so dark. Not a single light was opened.

Her surroundings were so... Dark? Lonely?

My heart breaks a little when I remembered how she cried earlier.

Is she all alone?

Her room was covered with silence.

She did not do anything stupid, right?

I got nervous a little. Though a little skeptical about entering her room without permission, I decided to still do because I'm afraid she's done something she shouldn't have.

I checked her living room, throw pillows were all scattered on the floor. But it's a good sign that there aren't any broken things around. I guess I was just being paranoid.

A sigh came out of my lips.

Why do I care anyways? I don't even know her.

I was kept out of my little trance when I heard a scream from inside the room on my right, then a sound of something hitting the surface soon followed.

My feet ran into that direction without even thinking and I immediately opened the door.

Then I saw her lying on the floor, passed out, motionless.

He gulped.

Shit. She's half-n***d, on just her black b*a. Thank God, she's wearing shorts.

I got a good look on her face, then my body stiffened.

"Jenna... " I whispered.