“Anyone ‘fess up?” asked Dom as he got himself a glass of water in the kitchen. Owen was packing up the uneaten ham to shove it back in the refrigerator; the tall man with thinning, pepper-and-salt hair looked over at Dom.
“Nah,” he said. “Could’ve been anyone.”
“Hasn’t affected anyone’s appetite.” The food on the table was decimated by now; even Kiko’s eggs were gone, despite the presence of the razor blade. Owen pulled out a few packages of store cookies and popped the lids open.
“It was probably someone drunk enough to think it was a joke,” he said, setting the cookies out.
“Probably,” said Dom, although he was unconvinced. That plus a creepy man no one could pin down spelled mystery to him, and not the particularly safe kind. “I’m going to have another walk through the rooms. Really great, by the way.”
“This year turned out pretty good,” said Owen, turning to refill the dwindling eyeball sangria. “I’m thinking about doing something more next year. What do you think about turning the garage into a dance floor? Skull-shaped disco ball. Themed music. My sister’s idea.”
“It’s a good one,” said Dom. He hated it. He did not dance.
“Yeah,” said Owen like he hated it too.
The first walk through of the upper floors had been pretty good. Owen had really gone all out, getting high school students to paint him disturbing paintings, using old crap he must have found at sales, rusty bed frames, and old razors. Ghosts appeared out of closets, murderers jumped out from behind doors, and near-dark rooms hid the presence of the cats until they were right on you, rubbing at your legs. Dom had walked through with Elena, who insisted on keeping the bloodstained curtain on the tub pulled shut until she had blindly felt the contents, a ritual that apparently many others undertook. She shuddered and pulled back, forcing Dom to stick his hand in too before looking. The contents had been light, dry. Snake skins. A live snake coiled in the sink over a skeleton hand.
They hadn’t noticed the creepy guy. So Dom was going back.
This time the entire thing was far less fun. It was later in the evening now and the alcohol was taking effect; the first room he stepped into echoed with yells and shrieks, although it wasn’t an act. The murderer wielding a machete and the wispy ghost were in the midst of a heated argument. Dom backed away immediately.
Someone was throwing up in the toilet, so he left the bathroom too. One of the bedrooms was empty, the scary occupants having left for whatever reason. In the last room, he walked in on Travis and the purple and red vampire making out on what might have been a real bearskin rug. He really hadn’t left college.
“Need a condom?” asked Dom, voice flat. Travis looked up.
“Hah, I’m not that unprepared,” he said. He shifted, tucking the vampire’s hair behind her ear in a sloppy motion that missed half of it. He was definitely drunk. “This is that friend I was telling you about. Saved his life once.”
“And here I was thinking you were the devil,” she said, leaning in to bite at his neck.
“Can’t you get laid without bringing me into it?” asked Dom, unsure why he was so annoyed. This s**t didn’t use to bother him. Now that he thought about it, though, he had felt like it was a way to repay Travis. Again he was disgusted with his past self.
“See, he just came out,” said Travis, dragging his hand up the vampire’s side to her breast.
“What a considerate guy, standing by him,” she said, palming his crotch. “Nice pitchfork.”
“Travis,” said Dom, but he should have known better than to try to argue with a drunk person.
“You thought no one would ever love you,” said Travis, laughing. “You cried, remember? I do. Now look at you. Sweeping floors for him and everything. You have that because of me.”
Dom realized he was glaring when someone came up behind him in a rush and he turned to look. One of the actors, a zombie woman, pushed past him into the room and rolled her eyes.
“Oh, my God, Ashley. I said I could get you fifteen.”
“We’re not done yet,” said the vampire.
“I gave you twenty!” The zombie was not happy. “Owen’s going to be around to do checks soon. Go find someplace else to get laid.”
“I told you I’m here visiting Mom, I can’t take him back—”
“Go to his place,” said the zombie. “God!”
Ashley helped Travis to his feet and led him to the door, glaring at her friend as she went. When she had to pass Dom, she flipped him off. Dom ignored the action and waited for the opportunity to talk to the zombie. She was positioning herself in a rocking chair at the far end of the room.
“Have you seen the creepy guy around at all?” he asked her once she took up her rocking.
“He wanders around,” she said. “He finds you, then you piss yourself. Last I heard he was putting a knife to people’s necks in the basement.” She paused. “You’re not going to say anything about them, are you? Ash’s my friend.”
“No problem,” said Dom. He didn’t like to get involved with other people’s relationships as a rule anyway. “And thanks for the tip.”
He went to the basement but couldn’t find the creepy guy. Most people seemed to have seen him at some point, but though Dom went through another round of walk-throughs, he still kept missing the man. He’d had his fill of the night and still had to get Travis back. He hoped Kiko had had an easier Saturday; if not they were in for one good fight when he got back.
Dom hated fights.