"Now then, we are here to try Alice for the murder of what's-his-name. What is your verdict?"
"Guilty!" roared the jury, like a Greek chorus.
"Off with her head!" yelled the Queen, swinging her scepter wildly in the air.
"Wait!" shouted Alice, running up to the judge's bench. "You can't do that! I am supposed to have a fair trial, the chance to prove my innocence!"
"And you will, murderess," said the Queen. "But first, you must be sentenced. That way, you already know what the outcome will be, and you won't have to suffer through all that dreadful suspense. It's much faster, you know, and lets us get on with beheading you or whatever. You certainly don't know much about the law, I can see!"
"But...," pleaded Alice, her skin once more clammy with fear.
"Silence!" thundered the
