Love me, daddy

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Later that day, I found myself on the streets crying to the mistake I had committed a few months ago. I could no longer be pregnant. I just couldn’t believe any of it. I repeatedly opened the reports that I got from the hospital to see. It was written Unable to get pregnant – is infertile. Every time I read it, my heart shattered into a billon pieces.

I wanted to rip apart those reports and throw them away but I couldn’t. They stated the truth that I had been avoiding. All my hopes shattered away. I did want a child some day; I just didn’t want one a few months ago.

I took a life of an unborn baby and that’s why I received this punishment. The morning passed by and the night came, I still wasn’t able to get up from the rotten streets I had been sitting on and crying. They were extremely dirty but it was away from the town and people.

“Ms,” Someone said. I opened my eyes and looked up to see an old man above me.

“Are you alright?” He asked. “If you are unsafe, I can call the police,” He added with worry lacing in his voice.

I shook my head, “No, I am fine, please leave me alone.” I sobbed before lying back down on the streets. There was highway a few minutes away from here and I could see thousands of cars passing by.

The speed bought me peace but it wasn’t enough to make me stop crying. The trauma I had received today was something I could never get out from.

The man shrugged and walked away in front of me. As soon as he walked away, the phone in my pocket began to ring.

I grabbed it out and accepted the call without even looking because my eyes were in pain from all of the crying I had done.

“Didn’t I f*****g till you to be back before the sunset? Yet, you want to make me angry by staying out late. Where the f**k have you been?” My heart reached up to my throat when I heard James yelling at me.

Upon hearing his voice, I sobbed loudly.

“Maria…why are crying?” James asked. His tone suddenly changed when he heard my sobs. I wiped away the tears that were dripping down from my cheeks and laid straight on the footpath.

I stared at the stars and didn’t reply. I didn’t have anything to say to anyone at all.

“Is everything fine? Where are you?” James asked again.

My heart pounded in my chest and my tears blurred my vision again. “I don’t know,” I cried.

“Where are you? Tell me, I will come to you and pick you up. I promise I won’t yell,” James stated.

“I ruined everything…” I trailed off. I was unable to even speak properly because there was a massive lump in my throat from all the crying I had done earlier.

“Why? What did you do? Leave that; just tell me where you are? f**k it, I will find it by myself,” James cut off the call and I dropped the phone on the ground.

I was miserable.

I gazed at the stars and placed the reports on my chest. I needed to cry about it. The unborn baby that I killed deserved my tears, my pain, my wretched cries and sobs. No one passed by me and it got colder. The streets got emptier and cars faded away as time passed by.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when a black car stopped in front of me. Its break screeched and James came out of it. He slammed the door aggressively behind him and ran towards me.

Grabbing my hand, he pulled me up and got on his knees. “What happened? What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” He questioned as he placed his hand on my face.

“James…” I bit my lips trying to control my loud cries.

“What? What happened?” James repeated. His voice was completely different now and he sounded a lot more sweeter. Just like what I wanted him to be.

His eyes narrowed down to my chest when I didn’t reply and he took the paper away from my hands. He opened and reports and read them.

The worry on his face disappeared away and it was replaced with grief and shock. His lips parted away in keen expectancy.

As he moved the paper away, I got on him and hugged him tightly. I cried onto his chest loudly and he just simply patted my back. He seemed shocked and it took some time for him to adjust but he did it quicker than me.

“It’s fine,” he sighed as he brushed my hair with his finger. “Don’t worry too much, Maria. You are going to be fine,”

I sobbed louder upon hearing those words. Nothing was going to be fine ever. Everything was ruined.

I shook my head and he tightened the hug, he clutched onto my body like he was never going to let me go.

“It’s okay, nothing will happen. Come on, get up, you have been out for too long and it’s going to rain in a few.” James said as he picked me up.

He moved me inside the car and the passenger door seat. I turned aside and hugged myself tightly till he didn’t come inside.

James got in the car and placed his hand on me. Just before he began to drive away, he leaned down and placed a kiss on my forehead.

“It’s going to be fine,”

I clutched onto his arm and snuggled myself into him as the car drove away from the rotten streets. A wave of shudder ran down my spine and then I fell asleep with the thought of being same in his arms.

––

“Maria,” I heard someone call my name out, it as a small whisper of home which pulled me away from the nightmare I had been seeing. I jumped up from my sleep and gasped out of shock. I spun my head around to see James, with his hands out and worry across his face.

I immediately rush back into his arms and hug him tightly as it bought me comfort.

“Are you fine?” He asked as he held my shoulders and moved me back from himself. A nod freed the tension in him.

He sighed and said, “You really terrified me today,”

“James…I cannot be pregnant again,” I turned my gaze back to him and said. My eyes began to water again from the cruel words my own lips spilled. It was dreadful to realize that a mistake I once committed was going to punish me forever.

“Calm down, it’s going to be fine and who the f**k told you to go to a doctor? The woman probably didn’t check properly. I’ll show you to someone else, don’t worry too much,” James said. His tone contained sadness and at the same time anger. He was as confused as I was.

I nodded my head.

“Come on, let’s go,” James added as he got out of the car. I looked out from the window and saw the school…hell. However, it looked different. Like it was the backside of the school.

I trembled when the passenger door was opened by James. Any sudden noise in this silence terrified me. I stepped out of the car and walked behind him.

The car was parked outside the school with many other cars. There was a small back gate and a guard opened it, allowing James and me inside the school grounds.

James handed the keys to the guard and motioned him towards the car. The guard nodded his head and went out.

“Are you angry?” I asked as I ran behind James to catch up with him.

“No, I am not but if you were going to a doctor, you could have at least told me. You didn’t need to lie.” James stated with ignorance in his tone. He did sound mad but he wasn’t expressing it.

I grabbed his arm and stopped him in the middle of the ground. “I’m sorry,” I said.

“It’s okay but next time you aren’t leaving and even if you are, you are going to tell me the truth.” James said and I nodded my head. “Don’t you trust me?” He asked after a moment of silence.

“No, of course I do. It’s just I didn’t want you to know about it,” I trailed off, sounding completely off and nervous.

“About what? Were you taking birth control pills or did you even lie about that?” James questioned.

I gulped, “I lied, I’m sorry,”

“Why?” He asked.

“Because I felt guilty about killing our unborn child. I thought if I got pregnant again, you would be happy…and I would be too.” I sighed.

James cupped my face with his hands and got closer to me. “My happiness doesn’t lies in a child, it lies in you! And I wouldn’t mind if you gave me a child or not, I don’t care. I care only about you, Maria.” He explained. He rubbed his thumb on my cheeks to wipe away any tears that were flowing down from my eyes.

“But I can’t be pregnant again,” I said in a depressing tone.

“I told you don’t worry about it. We will see about that in the future, okay?” James said. I looked down and agreed.

“Have you eaten anything while you were out?” He asked and I shook my head. I was starving to death and my stomach was grumbling for food.

“Okay, come on, let’s eat,” James grabbed my hand and we walked inside the building together. The way he held my hand and moved along with me bought a little smile on my face.

Something may have been taken away from me but no one was going to take James away, he was mine…forever and no one had the strength to change this.