Someone I'm Not

20 [pt.2]| A Minute Of Your Time

"You sure you can like. . .  Walk by yourself?" Philip couldn't simply let go of what just happened earlier. Even though Soroya's already showing signs that she's recovered and now has color in her once pale face, he is still not convinced that she is okay.

"Why? Would you then carry me inside if I say that I'm not fine?" She asks with a challenging tone in her voice and a grin etched into her lip. But then, her smirk quickly falls when Philip answers.

"Of course I will! Besides, it won't be a bother carrying you. Base on your height and figure, I think you only weigh half as mine." He answers that made her mouth agape open. This time, it was Philip's moment to smirk.

"Did you just. . . Criticize my weight?" She asks as Philip chuckles but soon, his laughter dies down, and the smirk falls into a sad one.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know what I said. . . I'm just still worried you're lying to me and what if you suddenly fall while we're walking and—" Philip starts to panic as he clearly shows signs that he's still coped up with the fact that Soroya almost faints awhile ago. Soroya then places her hand into his shoulder as she gives it a light squeeze.

"Hey, you sound distressed, Philip. Calm down, I'm fine." Soroya assured him that it makes him close his eyes and breathe in as if it's his way of calming himself down. Soroya hears him slowly breathe until he's relaxed. As soon as he opens his eyes, Soroya manages to give him a small smile.

"So don't worry about me. I can walk myself inside. No need to bother." She says as she was about to carry her bag when Philip strides and reaches out for her bag before she even gets her grip on it.

"Then at least let me carry the bag for you? You know, it would at least make me more feel a lot better." He says with a broad smile that makes her nod.

"Okay. If it'll make you feel better and not worry about me too much, then that's okay." She says before they decided to get inside the house, only to find out that it was empty.

"Well, where are they?" Soroya asks as soon as she steps inside the house. Philip followed right after as he closes the door behind.

"Hmm, it's just right around five pm. Could Bret and Nico have gone out to fetch Phoenix or grab dinner? I don't know." He even doubts where they are at the moment since they'd didn't even sent him a message. Soroya then turns to grab her bag from Philip.

"I think I'll just head upstairs and place the bag?" She suggests as Philip seems to like to say something, but instead, he decided to purses his lips and nod as he hums. Soroya noticed that but decided to shrug it off as she nods in his direction before turning around and heading towards the stairs.

As Soroya steps inside Phoenix's room, the empty, dull and lifeless atmosphere of the room greets her. Soroya should be expecting that already, but the weekdays probably made her busy, and she almost forgot what it felt like to stay there. It is as if it's her first time going there again, but with a different scenario.

Soroya closes the door behind her but didn't look at it, though it wasn't necessary, and also have the feeling that Philip might come and talk to her. As soon as she places down her bag on the spacious corner on the right side of the door, her eyes travel around the room, hoping to see anything different. But, no.

"This room is f*cking neat, but lifeless. Is this how I actually lived my life?" Phoenix from the present is kicking in, as his soul becomes freer to talk like him without any pretentious acts. For a minute, he wanted to feel that HE IS who he knew he is.

"Haaaaaahhhhh. . ." He exhales as she slides her phone out of her pocket and places it on the desk before diving into the bed. The cover and the pillow feel soft in the touch that makes him recall how it feels lying on it ever since he moved in for college.

But now, he's Someone he's not.

"Why does it have to be this hard?" He asks himself, wanting to have that doubt that everything was just a dream. That he's not feeling exhausted anymore because he's already dead. "But, should I be happier that I'm alive? Damn, I don't even know that dying is hard as this." He says but as his eyes land flat on the bare ceiling, and the moment he diverts his attention on the dull Teal, reality hits him hard.

*knock! Knock! Knock!*

He immediately turns his head into the closed-door when his moment of concentration got interrupted. After three consecutive knocks, the door slightly opens, revealing Philip, who is peeking. He is then back to being Soroya.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you're asleep." Philip exhales as Soroya sits up from the bed and gives him a small smile.

"Do you need something?" She asks. "Come in."

She watches Philip as he enters, his muscles tensed and continuously gulping.

"I'm sorry to disturb you. I was just going to look for something here, in case it's here. . ." Philip explains, but it only made Soroya raise a brow. He clears his throat before re-explaining. "What im trying to say is, my blue shirt got missing, and I thought our laundry might have mixed up."

"Ooohhhh," Soroya replies after getting what he meant. "Well, have you checked the other rooms?"

"They're locked. So, this is my only resort. . . For now."

"Okay then, help yourself. . . Don't mind me here." She says before lying in bed again as she hears the door closing. She continues to get lost in the sight of the ceiling as Philip starts looking around. Philip goes straight to the closet as he opens it. A Pile of neatly arranged clothes is inside, which is Phoenix's habit of putting everything as neatly as possible. But then, he's still trying his best to stop himself from asking her anything, but the curiosity just grows bigger and bigger.

Philip bites his lips to try still and stop the temptation to ask, but his curiosity is betraying him. He closes it as he couldn't find the shirt he's been looking for and headed straight for the door. But as he swings the door open, this time, it was his feet who decided to betray him.

‘Damn you, curiosity!  You really stabbing me in the back right now?’ he asks himself before sighing a turning to Soroya, who is still spacing out on the ceiling. ‘Well, here goes nothing.’ he comes up with a decision.

"Soroya?" He finally has decided to speak up. Soroya then turns to him as her eyes lighten up.

"Oh, finally, you decided to talk to me about it!" She exhales that makes him a bit puzzled.

"What do you mean?"

"Well. . ." Soroya pauses before tucking her hair in a ponytail. "I noticed that you seem like you wanted to ask me something a while ago. I thought you would ask eventually, but you keep silent. . . So, let's cut to the chase, WHAT IS IT?" She didn't want to hear him say, "Oh, it's nothing. . . I just too blah blah blah." because it will then lead to an unending doubt and more questioning. So, she decided to take the lead.

Philip, on the other hand, is a bit taken aback by it. He didn't know that he's too apparent since he always finds it hard to hide his dominating feelings or inner thoughts. Philip sighs and walks towards the bed and sits there tensed in a few seconds, then relaxes. He places both of his hands down to hold on the bed as a support as he leans a bit backward, now diagonal.

"Well, I was just wondering how you and Phoenix met. Like, how you two got so close. . ." He also asks straightforwardly, wanting to keep the conversation going.

"Well, why are you curious about it?" Soroya asks, a bit puzzled as to why the question is too random for her guess. She was expecting a question about what happened, and she already prepared her dialogue of denying.

"Well, it is not that I want to meddle or gossip, but. . . maybe because im curious as to why even if you're like starting at each other or sitting next to each other, I can tell that there is that sense of being comfortable, the connection between you two is just. . . Vital." He admits that he noticed it, but at some point, he doesn't only mean about the friendship.

Phoenix from the present noticed that Philip wanted more answers. Even before, when he still hasn't died, he saw that Philip, his friend, is the most observant and silent guy when he's into something. And this moment proves that authentic characteristic of his.

And that he has to play along with it for not for him to get suspicious.

Soroya then relaxes as well as she sits beside Philip. She manages to inhale deeply before talking.

"Well, Phoenix and I met in a very unexpected way." She started as she recalls the first time they've met.

"It was our examination day, and at that moment, we are taking an exam in Mathematics, and I seriously hate the subject, but that doesn't mean im trying my best to pass it, though." She confesses that made Philip chuckle.

"Well, you're not the only one. . . But, go on. Tell me what happened next." He says, sounding excited that made Soroya chuckle.

"So, as I said, we have an exam, and one question on the test paper is incorrect. Not only is the question a fragment, but the fact that the equation needed for solving is too advanced, so I decided to ask the teacher, who happens to be the assigned teacher to Phoenix's section. Just when I got inside, he's the first person that caught my eye, and that's the first time we saw each other."

"So, that's it? You just had an eye-to-eye contact, and you became friends?"

"Nope. The staredown contest didn't even last for five seconds because I was too worried I'd run out of time. And my thought is that maybe its just coincidental that I happen to look around, and he was also doing the same thing. . . But here's the fun part." She says as she adjusts her position. "On that same day, but this time, it was afternoon, he also came to our room for the same reason! Then, the last thing I know is that, after the exams, as I got out of the room, someone accidentally bumps into me and it was him! I was asking at that moment if it is fate, and he answered me by making him approach me and ask if what subject did I asks when I went into their room. I told him it was Mathematics. I then, for an unknown reason, ask him the same thing. He told me he asked about History and I happen to love the subject. He then proposes to me a deal that he'll tutor me about math, and I'll help him pass History cause he thought learning stuff from the past is just pure boring which I entirely disagree on. . . And that's how we met." She says that makes Philip nod in amazement.

"That's really unusual and probably the perfect definition of FATE."

"Yes, it is. And meeting Phoenix is probably is the best thing that jas ever happened to me." Phoenix from the past is just beyond surprised when he realized that he wasn't wholly in control of the body. Again, Soroya's soul is fighting, and that she's doing all the talk at the moment.

"He said the same thing. . . You certainly think alike now, no?" Philip chuckles as he realized it but only made her silent. She doesn't know what and how to respond, still under the process of sinking it in if what he said is true or not.

"Phoenix is a friend of mine that I've never imagine that God will give him to me. He's the type of man who would get annoyed but would rather keep it to himself than a rant. Phoenix usually keeps silent, but when you talk to him about something, he's all ears and gives his unbiased criticism when needed. He's just the man I can say is "enough" for a friend to have, but not that I don't love my man Bret and Nico. He's just. . . something." Philip talks his feelings out with such sincerity that warms her heart. Phoenix from the present is so grateful that it almost made him cry.

It was his first time hearing someone, aside from Soroya, say that he's a good man. It melts his heart to hear that someone appreciates him, even if he has done so much sinful stuff, enough reason to judge him.

"And seeing you happy makes me happy too because I know how it feels to have him as a friend, you know? He's a homie. . . Even if he had open up to me one time and told me that he had done a lot of sh*ts, that's in the past, and ill always have to say to him that he's a good man with a will to change." He says that makes Soroya smile weakly yet genuinely.

"He is a good guy to me. . . Always." Soroya was able to mouth the words comfortably that makes Phoenix from the past more enlightened.

They ended up talking for more things to brighten up their day until Soroya finally decided to insert another random question.

"Just one more random question." She pauses as Philip ready himself for what he is about to hear. "Like, for example, you're a murderer, and you're forced to kill your friends, how would you like, kill them?" She asks that makes him raise a brow and chuckled.

"Dude, you serious with the question?" He asks that makes Soroya nod. But then, Philip shakes his head. "Of course I won't kill them! Why would I? Yes, they may have annoyed me at some point, but there's no greater amount for a reason for me even to scratch them. And if I was a killer, id rather kills myself instead. . . They're my friends, and I can't just kill them even if it just a WHAT IF."

She's surprised at what he just said. Never did it cross into her kind that this answer would ever exist from the given options of her question. And that's enough of a reason for her to know one thing in particular.

But just before she could say something, they hear the front door opening. They both turn in unison as they hear three familiar voices downstairs.

"Philip? Soroya? We bought dinner!" Bret, from their prediction, calls out. That made them look at each other.

"Oft! They're already here. Maybe we should end the conversation for now and head down? Besides, im starving." He says as he stands up from the bed and heads towards the door. But before he could turn the knob, he turns to look at Soroya and smile.

"It was so nice talking to you, Soroya. Thank you for giving me a minute of your time. I'll head first so they won't get suspicious of us talking about our secret. . ." he says as he air quoted the last word. Soroya chuckled and didn't say a word as she watches him get out.

"Yep, I also had fun talking to you, Philip."