Someone I'm Not

18| Among The Odds

Monday

5:10 am

Soroya wasn't able to get even just four hours of sleep. All she did is just stare at the black ceiling of their bedroom as the outline of the black cap was like being drawn above her. The fact that the person lying tiredly beside her, imagining it as the present Phoenix's killer, is more than a foggy reality. . . if her prediction is right.

She sits up as she rests her back on the bed headboard slat, bending her head backward, now resting on the headboard top rail, reminding her that it was wood and not metal. She inhales almost silently, not wanting her sister to wake up.

‘This is. . . impossible. How. . . damn, this is getting inside my head, and it's making it ache so much!’ she thought to herself before she decides to stand up from the bed and get out of the room to catch some fresh air.

As she steps outside, the vast darkness of the whole house welcomes her. Though she wasn't that afraid of the dark and being able to memorize every part of their home, she quickly made her way outside without any complications.

As the sun is just about to set, the cold breeze of the morning Monday welcomes her bare flesh. She knew it would be cold outside since it was just too early in the morning, but she decided not to wear any jacket that could keep her warm. For that solemn moment, she wanted to feel what coldness feels like. What the morning chill feels like.

As she closes the door behind her, she inhales the coldness and freshness of the air, as if she had forgotten what it feels like to inhale.

When is being possessed by a dead person after all?

She walks herself into the wooden chair as she keeps her knees intact. She crosses her forearms around her stomach as her palms rub both of her arms to keep it warm. She leans forward as she enjoys the sight of the foggy gray surrounding. She then closes her eyes for a second as she lets THE PHOENIX take control as if he's not living inside her. When she's focused enough, she opens her eyes like Soroya's body was completely gone.

He is Phoneix once again.

Phoenix looks around as he is, at that moment, then reminded of how beautiful morning was, a moment he never gets to enjoy when he is still alive.

He inhaled again as he leans backward, his back feeling the coldness of the wooden chair. It made him shiver for a second, feeling a sense of happiness like he had never died. Just then, their conversation from yesterday starts coming back like an unstoppable train. With his eyes closed, he manages to recall everything Houdini had said.

«‘It could be a place he has gone or something he ate to challenge his tongue when he wasn't able to change when he still possesses his own identity, it could be anything that might have created a new lane for them pen of destiny to write on. This could change his present.’

‘Client 100, this drawback we call the Gap Glitch, commonly happens two weeks after they start to possess a body because the first week would just be the adapting change or the stage where our clients would just try to figure out and just be comfortable with the new body they've just possessed, but when they still haven't felt the gap glitch before the first weekends, then their fate would most likely not be changed any longer.’

‘Meaning?’

‘Meaning that they'll remain dead until the mission ends. . . But then, your condition is different because it happened in the first week, exactly Saturday.’

‘So? What are you trying to say then?’

‘What I'm trying to say is that this doesn't occur to most of our clients. There's only point one percent of possibility a client would come to experience this opportunity.’

‘But, I still don't get why this gap glitch on the fists week is any special than the others.’

‘Mister Oasis, being able to experience this glitch could mean that there's a slight possibility that you could make adjustments that can change your present time. Since you came here, at this moment, which is just a few months back, this opportunity is a sign that could mean that YOU can help change your present.’

‘But?. . .’

‘But that still depends on how determined you are on how willing you are to devote yourself to the fate that's written for you. Luckily, you've passed level one, which is the Gap Glitch. Now, you just have to prove yourself by moving fast to see how your killer is. And you've only had a few weeks to find out who.’

‘So, are you trying to say that I can still be alive when I finish this task successfully? Like, actual alive? No gunshot wounds?’

‘Yes.’»

He opens his eyes gently as he continues to feel himself inhaling and exhaling.

"So this means that I can change my fate and be alive. . . But, why do I feel like I've been tested with this? Does this feel right? Do I actually deserve this?"

Just then, the horror of thinking about the cap haunts him. He still couldn't shake off the thought that it looked so familiar, but there are still A LOT OF POSSIBILITIES.

"But, how come? I've never seen Soroya's sister wearing a cap. And now, she did wear one, and it looked precisely as tye cap his killer used.

"But, is that just pure coincidence, or—"

"Soroya?"

He then feels the sense of being pulled back to the reality that he is just occupying Soroya's body for the meantime as Vianne's voice echoes into the surroundings. And now, she's back to the play pretend game.

"H—hey."  He says as she pushes a strand of her hair at the back of her ears. She then feels the anger starting to build, for a very known reason, but she doesn't want to accuse yet. Not until she has the evidence.

‘All I need is the green hoodie.’ She reminded herself. ‘And if she is to use a green hoodie that would look like it—’

"You're up early." Her sister, Vianne, asks. She has the mini dark blue blanket wrap around her. "And you didn't even bring something to keep you warm." She says with a very suspicious tone.

"I just like to feel the coldness." She blurted out before averting her eyes away awkwardly. Vianne noticed that something is up, and as a sister, she wanted to ask her so bad. Vianne sighs as she pulls the blanket closer to her, also covering her legs.

"Soroya, is there something wrong?" She finally said the words that she felt like it's been too hard for her to mouth aloud. "You know, you can always tell—"

"It's getting cold, don't you think?" Soroya interrupts her as she wears a VERY forced smile that she shortly noticed. It was weird for her but too obvious to tell that something is bothering her sister.

"I—" she was just about to insist on asking when Soroya stands abruptly.

"I'll head first." She says before walking straight into the door. But before she enters, she turns to her. "I'll brew the coffee, okay?"

"Uhm, sure. I'll be there later. I'll just stay here and enjoy the view for a second." She says before Soroya enters the house. As soon as she hears the door closing, she sighs sadly.

She stares at the same foggy gray landscape, realizing that the sun is just about to rise. She forces herself to smile as she should be enjoying the dreary moment, but instead, it made her realize how lonely she feels right now.

"Who do I feel like you're so distant? Why fo I feel like you're hiding something? That something has changed in you?" Vianne asks as the frustration she's feeling grows bigger and bigger by the second.

" Why do I feel like I don't know you anymore, Soroya?"

Vianne decided to stay on the terrace for a little longer until she smells the soothing aroma of the coffee. That became her cue to get back inside. As she enters, she finds her sister already cooking sunny side up eggs. That made her furrow her brows.

"Be careful with that; you might burn it." She says as she quickly gets beside her sister to assist her, but she was more than surprised to see her already cooked a well-made sunny side up.

"Don't worry, sis. I got this. See? The shape is good, and the yolk has an amazing yellow color!" She says as she proudly brags the egg. Vianne chuckles as she backs out slowly. Her heart starts to throb faster, and now her suspicion is growing and starting to give justice to the thought that her sister is already a changed person.

"The coffee's already done. Pour yourself a mug of that hot coffee already and enjoy the warmth while it's still cold. I heard the weather would suddenly be hot today." Soroya reminded her sister as her focus only lies on the other egg on the frying pan. That was Vianne's tip to make a reasonable distance over her sister and get herself a mug.

"S–so, tell me, Soroya. . . Since when did you learn how to cook?" Vianne asks, not wanting to leave her questions unanswered. She hears Soroya chuckles before turning to her shoulder.

"Silly! Of course, I've been cooking ever since second grade! Our parents taught us, remember?" She joyfully asks as they both hear the popping of oil that made her get her focus back on the egg. Vianne then knew that she was right.

‘I don't know her anymore.’

Vianne sits by the chair in the dining area as she absentmindedly stirs her coffee slowly, not realizing it is warm already. All she did is to stare at her sister's back as her answer to her question earlier echoes repeatedly in her mind. She keeps staring at her until she flinches back to reality when Soroya announces that the second egg is already done to perfection.

Both of them didn't seem to enjoy breakfast, not because of tye food, but because they feel them both stealing glances over the other. Soroya has her reasons to be suspicious, and Vianne has collected little shreds of evidence to doubt if she's living with the same sister over the eighteen years that her sister starts to exist in the world.

As expected, both of them decided to keep their thoughts to themselves, especially that TIMING is always important, now that their concerns are not as light as asking if what shirt they should wear for today.

"By the way, sis. . ." Soroya decided to break off the silence, now that she had just remembered something. She didn't bother lifting her chin, a bit scared to even make eye contact with her.

"What is it?" Vianne asks, doing the same thing— not lifting her face for the same reason.

"Well, you're aware that I went to Phoenix last weekend, right?" She asks as she gently plays the remaining chunks of avocado on her plate using her fork.

"Yup. What about it?" She asks as she continues to eat her food. She coined the half sliced of avocado in her mouth when she decided to ask.

"Well, I just want to ask who professor Lucas is?" She asks that made Vianne almost choke herself with the food. Luckily, she has a glass of water prepared that made her drink it instantly. Soroya lifts her face to see what happened to her.

"You okay?" Soroya asks as she stares at her with such worry.

"I'm fine." Vianne coughs before she uses the hem of her shirt to wipe the side of her lips with water that had dripped out. And that question also made her use it as a piece of evidence that something is wrong with her sister. When she's calmed down, it was Vianne's time to ask the question.

"Why did you ask?" She asks her, collard by a suspicious question that only has been raised inside her head. ‘Did you seriously forget who he is?’

Soroya then shrugs her shoulder as she places her attention on her plate, avoiding eye contact.

"Well, maybe I just forget who he is, and I was wondering why." She replies.

"Did you meet or talked to him when you were with Phoenix last weekend?"

"Yes. . . I decided to visit his university, and he called me suddenly."

"Well, did he mention my name?" She raises the question as she gulps, not knowing how to feel to her next response.

"Surprisingly, yes."

"What did he say?"

"Well, if I remember it correctly, he asked me how you are already."

Vianne grips tightly on her utensils as she feels like her heart just skipped a beat. "He's just my. . .  A friend before." She says that makes Soroya nod, even if she knew that there's a much deeper meaning behind her words, just a friend.

When both of them have finished their breakfast, Vianne suggested she do the dishes, thinking it would only be fair now that she has to be in school on time.

"Are you sure you don't want me to help you out? You also have work to attend to, right?" 

Even though Soroya insisted, Vianne's decision is final. That leaves Soroya with no other choice but to bathe and dress for school. Working alone and focusing on two different thoughts made them think further of their suspicion over the other. ‘What should I do next? Should I tell someone about this? Or is it better for ONLY me to know?’ these are a few of the concerns that we're answered. And, Soroya found out something about her personal realization.

When they're both done, Soroya comes down carrying her backpack. Just when Vianne is about to talk, they both hear the morning of a vehicle.

"That's my ride."