To Catch A Fae

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

“Are you awake, Guen?” Debbie’s voice broke through the silence, startling me back to the present. Reminding me that I sat in her office… Not that I hadn’t known that, but sometimes I forgot things.

My foster mom nudged me in the arm, then shifted in her seat, huffing. “She’s always daydreaming, this one. I swear she lives in her head more than the real world.”

I slouched in my seat, meeting Ms. Williams’ deep brown eyes. She sat across her desk from us, and she looked young except for the threads of white amid the brown curls. I’d guess she was in her mid-forties.

She studied me, probably making mental notes about how I’d changed since our last catch up. Her work desk was impeccable, like the rest of her sterile office, and she had her name and title on a plaque sitting on the edge of her desk.

Debbie Williams, M.D.

Clinical Psychiatrist

Like anyone coming here could forget they were seeing a psychiatrist who specialized in mental disorders.

“How have you been sleeping?” she asked.

“Not well.” Never well. The dreams always came and when I woke, I’d be exhausted.

“Have you tried the new medication I prescribed?”

I nodded, as did my foster mom, who pushed the loose strands of chestnut hair out of her face. She made sure I took the meds. They knocked me out, but the dreams still came, no matter what I did.

Schizophrenia. I’d read the word in the doctor’s notes a few weeks ago when she hadn’t been looking. Even if she hadn’t given me a diagnosis, at least now I had a name to what was wrong with me. I’d read up on it, tried to self-diagnose myself on Google, and found four types of Schizophrenia. I wasn’t sure I fit a specific disorder; it was more like I had some symptoms of each of them.

But maybe Ms. Williams suspected something else was wrong, which was why she hadn’t given me a final prognosis. Could there be something worse than Schizophrenia?

My stomach churned when I thought about it, and for some reason, the room was too bright today, despite the lights being off. The sun’s reflection on the white walls stung my eyes.

Ms. Williams stood from her chair, straightened her A-line blue skirt, and crossed the room to lower the blinds, stealing some of the glare. I liked her, even if she watched my every move, my every reaction, and made an analysis of my behavior. I’d been seeing therapists like her for as long as I’d been in foster homes… my whole life.

“Are you still having unusual dreams?” she asked.

I nodded, lowering my gaze, remembering the shadow who always came for me. “Sometimes. But I’m feeling better.”

I raised my head as she jotted something in her notebook. I just forgot things sometimes, dreamed of a kingdom that didn’t exist, and felt like I didn’t belong… in my skin. No, in this world.

I glanced at the clock on the wall. Half an hour was almost up.

“Well, we might end our session there.” Debbie handed my foster mom a new script. “Jen, if you have a moment?”

Up on my feet, I collected the bag from under my seat and headed to the door. “Thank you,” I threw over my shoulder as I reached for the handle, hating these sessions that made me question everything about myself. The two of them often had a private talk. What secrets did they hold about me that I should know? But I’d learned long ago that reacting angrily only got me more medication prescribed because I was unstable. Crazy. Unreliable.

You’re so much more than insane, little wolf. The low rumble of his voice wrapped around my mind, deep and smooth, reverberating through my bones. He who had no name, who refused to give me his name, who was always in my head. Something I never told a single soul; otherwise, I’d end up in an asylum.

“Wow, you’re full of compliments today,” I mumbled under my breath.

Outside, I marched through the waiting room, leaving my foster mom behind. Head low and pulling the jacket tighter around myself, I crossed the room, not wanting to exchange glances. We all lived with darkness in our heads, and I didn’t want to see their insanity etched on their faces.

“Dad can’t be bothered to come here and said I could collect the prescription on his behalf. I have a signed note,” a guy growled at the nurse over the counter.

I glanced his way. His brow furrowed, ice-blue irises crowned by the longest eyelashes met mine. Short, black hair sat spiked on his head. I recognized him. He made every girl at school swoon with that sneer. His mouth twitched before he jerked his attention back to the nurse who lectured him, and I shoved through the front door and stepped outside, where I could breathe easier.

Seemed the most popular guy in school and me had something in common after all. Something crazy.

I rubbed my hands for warmth, staring out at the parking area for a bit before heading to the small convenience store nearby. There, I grabbed an energy drink from the fridge and scooped money out from my pocket before placing it in the hand of the old man at the counter.

“There you are,” Jen bellowed from the door of the store, dressed in her tailored pants and white blouse that pulled taut across the buttons. She’d been on a diet forever and recently lost some weight, and she looked good. “Told you to always wait for me near the car. Between you and Oliver, you both drive me insane.”

With the can in hand, I followed her out. “Just needed a pick-me-up before class. And Oliver is a pain in the a*s to everyone.” My foster brother was the devil incarnate.

She huffed. “He’s only nine; he’ll grow out of that stage. And I hate when you drink that stuff. It’s not good for you.”

“It keeps me awake.” I pulled back the metal ring and the drink hissed. “So, what’d the shrink say after I left?”

“I like Debbie better than the last one. And she’s just worried about you not getting enough sleep.”

Swallowing the mouthful of cherry-flavored goodness, I waited for Jen to find her keys in her bag. A quick glance at my reflection in the car window showed my blonde hair fluttering in the breeze, light eyebrows I hated, and the blue eyes that did nothing to take away from the whole pale as snow look. I’d been contemplating dying my brows, a do-it-myself-job, but didn’t want them looking like dark caterpillars across my brow.

Jen finally yanked open the passenger’s door of her silver sedan.

“You gonna tell me what she said.” I got inside, and she climbed into the driver’s seat.

“What do you want me to say, Guen? She costs an arm and a leg, so she’s got to know what she’s doing.” Jen looked over at me, her perfectly manicured eyebrows rising. She jammed the key into the ignition.

Pinning the can between my thighs, I strapped myself in. “The government pays for it,” I reminded her over the groan of the engine. But she still complained about the cost at every fortnightly session like she somehow missed out on taking the cash herself.

She edged out of the parking and soon enough merged into the slow-moving morning traffic.

“So, you going to tell me?” I took several more mouthfuls.

“What difference will it make? You take your meds and you’ll be fine.” The corner of her eye twitched.

“I can tell when you’re lying.”

“Stop staring at me. Have you got your books for school?”

“Yes, I have them. Please, Jen, what did Debbie say to you for real?”

“I told you not to call me that.”

I sighed heavily and shoved myself back into the seat, staring at the oversized buildings we passed, the storefronts, people darting amid the crawling traffic to cross the road.

“She said she worried you might be dangerous.”

I stiffened.

Dangerous? I’d never harm anyone. Never had.

“Why did she think that?” Unease crawled over my chest. A small part of me died inside when I accidentally stepped on an ant. How could I be dangerous?

Her lips pursed when she looked over to me. “Because you don’t need anyone and insist on being alone.”

The words swam in my mind like flies on roadkill. So being a loner made me dangerous?

“Have you tried making friends?” she asked, like she hadn’t seen me mingle with students at the last three schools I’d moved to because she kept relocating us to be near her newest boyfriend.

“I have a friend at Brax High.”

“Don’t say Antonio, or I’ll—”

“Yes, Antonio is my friend.”

Jen’s grip tightened on the steering wheel. “And a bad influence. I told you I saw him once buying drugs at the corner store. Don’t get involved with trouble.”

I heaved and pressed my spine into the seat. “He’s a nice guy, and he talks to me while others glare.”

“Aren’t there girls at your school you get along with?”

I gritted my jaw. “They hate me, so no, I don’t get along with them.”

I twisted away to stare at easing traffic we now passed. Other families laughing, talking about normal things, like what was on television that night.

“Maybe if you had more friends, you wouldn’t always get in trouble.”

When she kept going on, I leaned down and dug my hand into my backpack, finding my earphones. I stuffed them into my ears and jammed the connector into the base of the phone before blaring my music.

Let them hate you. His voice broke through the music. As long as they fear you, little wolf, you will be fine.