Gage

Chapter 9

Gage

She seemed nervous. She kept wringing her hands together and wouldn't meet my gaze. Her lip was drawn between her teeth and I had the urge to pull it between my fingertips.

“I'm sorry.” I said gently. She looked at me confused.

“I'm sorry for assuming you abandoned your family. I should have never jumped to conclusions. Just so you know, no one would have ever thought you were weak or stupid for going through what you did. No one. Especially not your family. Would they have been worried? Yeah anyone would. But you got away from him, you won this war you were fighting.”

Her eyes watered and she swiped them away before her tears fell down her cheeks. “I did get away. For now. At least until he finds me again. It's inevitable…” she trailed off. I scooted closer to her and I was a bit shocked she didn't move away from me.

“You don't have to do this alone anymore. I'm not going to let him hurt you again.”

“You have to say that. It is your job.”

While that was true it was more than that. We had been playing this cat and mouse game too long. I knew she felt this push and pull just like I had. I was just tired of being an asshole to her. I felt like s**t for the way I had been treating her. I was tired of fighting the pull that I had on her. I was exhausted from trying to be her enemy when I wasn't.

I felt a stinging in my chest about me wanting to get closer to another woman but part of me was so damn tired of being alone. Part of me craved and needed the benefits of having a companion. Of having that special someone to spend my days with. Not just for me but for Marley too. Part of me felt like I was betraying Savannah's memory but my mom's words kept coming back to me. I wasn't replacing her because no one could replace her. But I deserved to be happy. I deserved to love again. I know she would want that too.

“It's more than that, Wren. Yes it's my job to protect people but you and I both know that it's more than that.'' her brows scrunched together and her lips thinned. She was confused and it was a cute look for her.

“But... but you hate me, Gage. How could it possibly be more than that?”

I reached my hand out and I hated that her eyes tracked my hands. I knew it was a conditioned response but I would never hurt her. I may be an asshole but I have never hurt a woman, let alone anyone who didn't deserve it. I placed my palm on her cheek and her skin was so soft it felt like silk under my fingertips. Her face pressed into my hands. She was leaning into my touch.

“I'm tired of fighting this pull that I have for you. I'm tired of being an asshole to you. I don't know about you, but I'm done being your enemy Wren.”

“I never was your enemy, Gage.” she whispered as her eyes went to my lips. Her tongue darted out to wet them, an unconscious move that she wasn't even aware that she was doing.

“Even still. I'm not going to let him hurt you. Never again.” she closed her eyes and released a breath, relieved. I'm sure she felt the weight lifted knowing she wasn't in this alone.

I heard a buzzing but neither of our phones was ringing on the coffee table. I felt her shudder as I was looking around. She pulled away from me and rested her forehead on her knees.

“Is Anderson here or something?” she shook her head no but was mumbling something incoherently. The buzzing stopped and immediately started up again. She sighed but got off the sofa. Her feet padded towards the table by the front door just as the bussing stopped again and vibrated 3 times in a row. Her shoulders were tense and she opened the drawer and pulled out a phone.

I was confused. Her phone was still on the table next to mine. Her head tilted back to the ceiling and she took deep breaths as if she was trying to calm down. I made my way to her. She was trembling. I placed a steadying hand on her shoulder as I reached around her and slipped the phone from her grasp.

Unknown: Do you really think you can stay hidden forever? I will find you and when I do, I will f*****g end you

Unknown: Still ignoring me, Well see who’s laughing in the end.

Unknown: I swear to god Wren, when I find you, you're going to wish that I hadn’t.

Unknown: Baby, I'm sorry. Please just come home. We can talk about this.

My hands were clenched so tight I was shocked the screen on the phone didn't shatter. “What the f**k is this?” I growled. I kept my hand on her, drawing calming circles on her shoulder with my fingers.

“How long has he been messaging you?” I asked and she just shook her head. I scrolled through days, but no week's worth of messages. All of them are either threatening or begging her to come home. They seem to have started shortly after the funeral. Must be when he realized she wasn't going to be coming back.

I tossed the phone back in the drawer after powering it off and pulled her into my arms.

She started crying and I picked her up and carried her back to the sofa. I sat her in my lap and wrapped a blanket around us. I let her have a moment to gather her emotions.

“I'm sorry you had to see that.”

“You have nothing to apologize for. I just wish I could do something more. I wish you would have come to me for help.” I said and she gave me a deadpanned look. “I guess I didn't make it easy for you.”

She rolled her eyes and rested her head against my shoulder. I had to admit this felt nice. Having her in my arms felt electrifying. We were silent for a moment before I decided to divulge something. I didn't want her to feel like she was the only one opening up.

“I was married before.” I started. She stayed silent, letting me speak. “Her name was Savannah. I met her in high school and we started dating my Senior year. Everything after that was history. I fell hard and I fell fast. We found out shortly before my graduation that she was pregnant with Marley. It wasn't long before we were married. She and Marley were my everything. We did everything together. She was so soft spoken, shy, and very introverted. Kind of like you are, she brought out a soft side in me that I thought was long damaged. She loved everybody and everyone loved her. She didn't have a mean bone in her body.” I took a deep breath not realizing how hard talking about her would be. “My mother loved her, My stepfather loved her, Hell she was the love of my life. She was a damn good wife and an amazing mother.”

“What happened to her?” she asked quietly. I looked down at her and saw she had a few tear marks on her face from drops that had fallen from her eyes. I wiped them away gently before taking another deep breath.

“She was killed in a drunk driving accident.” she gasped on an intake of breath. “We used to live in the city, back in Colorado Springs. It was July fourth and I was working that day. We needed the money and I took the opportunity for overtime. She was headed to a cookout my mom was throwing. Everything seemed so normal. We woke up, and did our usual morning routine. I kissed Marley's head and danced with her in the kitchen while she made breakfast. She walked me to my patrol car and kissed me goodbye and I left. God if I had known that would be the last time I saw her alive I would have done so many things differently. I would have stayed home. I would have never let her leave the house. I would have done everything in my power to change the outcome of it all.”

I could feel my heart starting to race and the walls starting to close in on me.

“It was closer to the end of my shift. I worked 12 hour shifts then. Close to 8 at night so I was going to join them and watch the fireworks. A call came over the radio for an accident not far from my parent's house. It was a two car collision. I could see the accident from a mile away. Her car was so mangled that I didn't even recognize it. If it wasn't for her license plate being stuck in the other car I wouldn't have known until she was pulled from the wreckage.”

“God, there was so much blood. All I remember was screaming her name and pulling her out of the car. I didn't know it then but she was already gone. Died on impact. Marley was in the car with her. My partner pulled her from the car but she didn't have a single scratch on her. But Savannah, all I wanted her to do was open her eyes for me. I begged, I pleaded, and I commanded her to open her eyes. She didn't. EMS and fire had arrived at this point and wanted me to let her go. I couldn't. I remember screaming so loud. It wasn't long before my stepfather arrived. He was the captain back then so he had gotten the call and responded. He had me let go so EMS could verify. I remember him holding me tight but I was so out of it.”

Her hand was holding my mind and squeezing. Lending me her strength.

“It was then that I realized the other driver was getting out of his car. He smelled so strongly of whiskey that it's a wonder the flames from the accident did not ignite him. I lunged for him but was held back. How was it that he was okay, able to stand and walk and talk but she was dead? It didn't make any sense to me. He was 3 times over the legal limit and he had been charged 4 other times with DUI. I had the pleasure of being the officer to throw him behind bars after his trial. He's still in jail. It doesn't make anything better but at least he can't hurt anyone else. But I was still widowed and Marley was without her mom. It took her a while to get over it. Me, not so much.”

“I almost quit the force after that. I couldn't handle city life. I froze on my first call when I returned to work. So I packed us up and moved us out here. That's partially why your family's accident was so hard for me. It was my first drunk driving accident since Savannahs. It's why, well partially why I was so awful to you. I had made a vow that I wasn't going to love again. That I wasn't going to open myself up to go through losing someone I cared for again. And when they died I saw how much it affected Marley and I took it out on you. You made me feel things I hadn't felt in a long time. I felt an attraction for you and it scared me. It pissed me off. I didn't want to feel those things for you. I didn't want to feel that way for anyone. That was the other reason I treated you that way. You are the first woman since she's passed that's ever made me feel alive and it scares the s**t out of me.”