Forbidden Love (Book One).

4

They say everything happens for a reason but having these irreplaceable feelings for you is driving me to brink of insanity and I just don't think it's possible to ever be sane again. What must I go through, how far up must I reach for you to see that without you I'm completely torn apart.

-A.E

"I'll kiss her." I said matter-of-factly.

It can't be that hard right? All I had to do was pretend not to like it. That shouldn't be too hard. I took a deep breath and got up from my seat on the floor. I knew that she wouldn't come over and kiss me, not after how I reacted. So I took the lead.

Heading over to her, I knelt down and looked her squarely in the face. Roni rolled her eyes, not once changing her expression and I knew that taking command of the kiss was left to me. I inhaled sweet oxygen for what had to be the tenth time and smiled at her.

Everyone in the room was so quiet that I felt like all the pressure was upon me.

Reaching out I placed my hand behind her neck and leaned forward. I was inches away from her face and I saw her close her eyes as she sucked in a breath. My heart was beating so fast I thought it was exchanged with that of a cheetah. I wanted so badly to feel her lips upon mine but I was too much of a chicken.

Besides, I wanted to do it on my own time and because we both wanted to do it. Not because of a stupid dare. No, I refuse to allow this to happen. I pulled back from her and dropped my hand.

"I can't do this." I croaked out, my voice low.

I heard loud groans coming from around us and I took a deep breath, holding in the tears. Looking over at the girl in front of me, I saw Roni open her eyes and stare dumbfounded. Before I had time to understand her expression, I ran from the room. I didn't stop until I reached my bedroom, slammed the door, slumped against the wall and started to cry. I felt sick to my stomach and I ran to the toilet where the contents of the night came up.

There was a knock at the bathroom door and I looked up to see Roni standing there since I had forgotten to lock the door.

"What?" I asked a bit too harshly and she took a step back.

"I just came to see if you were okay." She responded slowly, afraid of me yelling at her.

I sighed as my anger and sickness slowly subsided. Getting up, I walked to the sink and brushed my teeth. It wasn't surprising that she still stood there, silently watching and waiting. No matter how mad I was I still couldn't stay mad at her, she was my best friend after all. When I was done I slowly turned to face her but kept my eyes on the floor.

"I'm fine okay." I mumbled, wrapping my arms around myself protectively. I had hoped that by some miracle she couldn't rip my heart from out of my already torn chest.

"Hey." She said coming closer and I flinched as she lightly touched my folded arms.

"It's me, don't lie. I know that kissing girls is a no go for you and I'm sorry that they tried to make you do it, okay." She said in her soothing voice and I desperately wanted to kiss her until she realized that all I wanted to do was kiss girls, especially her. Instead, I stayed silent and stationary as she continued to comfort me.

"Look, I'll go get rid of the others and we can just watch a movie or something."

I stopped her before she could leave, placing a hand on her arm. She turned to me, confusion written on her face and some other expression that I couldn't decipher. Was it hope? I shook my head, both mentally and physically.

"I just want to sleep if it's okay with you."

"Of course it is."

Now I was sure that I saw disappointment. I knew it was because she hated sleeping early and I was the opposite to her, but I chose the expression to mean that she just couldn't stand not being near me any longer.

She walked out of my grasp to get rid of our guests. Quickly I walked back into my room and texted my parents before stripping off my alcohol drenched clothes and headed into the shower. Even though it was late I stood directly underneath the cold shower and allowed it to wet my entire body. I knew that waking up tomorrow morning and trying to comb my shoulder length hair would be a disaster but I didn't care. I just needed to clear my head and ease away the pain that I felt.

Being me was so damn hard. Sometimes I wanted to just be different, normal.

I shut off the shower as the water turned freezing cold and grabbed a towel from the table. Walking back into my bedroom, I looked over at the clock and saw that it was midnight.

Great, now I have less sleep again tonight.

I rolled my eyes and quickly changed into my night attire before heading downstairs for a late night snack.

I took the stairs two at a time and was greatful for the carpeted floor. The lights were already off so that was an indication that Roni was in her room, probably watching some stupid horror movie or something along those lines. I reached the kitchen but instead of turning on the lights I went straight to the pantry and grabbed two pine tarts. I moaned softly as I tasted the gooey softness of its center.

I heard a noise and turned around, stopping dead in my tracks.

Roni had apparently felt thirsty and came down to get something to drink. She was standing frozen in front of the fridge door as the light shone around her. The embarrassing part was that she was completely naked.

I swallowed hard. Just watching her body in the dim light was enough to make my girly parts start tingling. Her skin glowed from the Orange light and her body cast a shadow but by jolly, she looked bangable. Her long streaked hair hung loosely around her shoulders and her breasts were so pink. All I wanted to do was suck on them until I heard her moan my name.

Unsurprisingly, her privates were shaved and I inwardly smiled. I knew she wouldn't allow the hair to grow out, she was way too self conscious. My eyes shifted back to hers and I was surprised when she didn't cover herself up. Instead, she still stared dumbly at me. Our eyes locked for a split second until something distracted me.

Her breasts...

More specifically, her n*****s.

They were hardening...

Wait a minute... Was she being turned on. I looked back to her face and stared at her as she blushed deep red. I never knew her cheeks was capable of turning that shade, it was completely visible in the dim light. When finally realization struck her, she slammed the fridge door shut plunging the room into darkness once more.

"I... I just c-came to g-get some water."

I heard her stammer and I nodded at her clearly aware that she couldn't see me. I released my breath as I felt a slight breeze and knew she had left. My breathing became ragged as I replayed the last few minutes in my head. Lots of questions started invading my mind.

Why was she naked?

Was Anthony sleeping over?

Were they having s*x in my house?!

Why did her n****e harden?

The real question however was how the hell was I supposed to sleep now!

I walked quickly back into my room and quietly closed the door. Pulling my bedspread, I climbed in and turned off the lamp. I closed my eyes but all I kept seeing was her breasts, taunt and pink, tightening before my eyes. I groaned under my breath and covered my head with my pillow.

Tomorrow was going to be one hell of a weird day.