Finally 18
1030 Words
I slept in this morning. It was Saturday and I hadn’t had the luxury of sleeping in for so long. I looked over, noticing that it was already 11:00 am. I was finally eighteen years old. I lay there thinking about how this day was bittersweet. I once looked forward to it. It was supposed to be the start of my life as an adult. For the last few years, the thought has been plagued with the reality of my situation. I planned on leaving everything I knew. I had mourned the loss of my mother a long time ago. I just hoped that she would be okay in my absence. I almost felt guilty. I shouldn’t. She’s been a poor excuse for a mother, but there were good times before everything went to sh*t. I held onto the vague memories of my childhood before the drugs took her away. For the first time in what felt like forever. I cried. I covered my face with my pillow, hoping that she couldn’t hear my sobs. My heart broke thinking of the childhood that I could have had. For the mother that I wished she could be. I knew that something horrible must have happened to her for her to turn to drugs. Some people used drugs to drown out their demons, instead of facing them. I assumed that is what my mother had done. She felt forced into p**********n to support us. The drugs followed soon after. They started off with “softer” things, like smoking weed or taking pills. Then she met f*ck boy and he introduced her to coke and h****n. Now she couldn’t go a day without riding the high. I focused on controlling my emotions and soon enough, the tears stopped, and I felt significantly better. I reminded myself it was normal to have real emotions. I pulled myself out of bed, ready to get this day over with. Less than two weeks until I was free. I smiled. Free. The thought had me excited for the future.
The house was still quiet as I tip toed out of my room. I peeked through the c***k in my mother’s door, finding her asleep, in her bed. Shocker. She’d managed to make it there herself. I will take that as my birthday gift from her. I walked out to the kitchen, grabbing a banana that was sitting on the counter. No one was passed out on the couch this morning either. I will take that as win number two of the day. After scarfing down the banana, I needed to slip out and head to the library. I would be able to access their computers and internet to check the bus schedule and motels around the Tallahassee area. I got ready quickly, checking one more time to make sure my mother was still in bed, before quietly slipping out the door.
It was a warm spring day. Here in the south, the temperature climbed easily into the 80’s. I regretted wearing my favorite hoodie. Thank goodness when I stepped into the library, the air conditioning was blaring and I got a chill from the sweat that had once been dripping down my forehead. The library was quiet in the adult section. Not many people enjoyed spending their Saturday here. Unless you were coming for the children’s puppet shows. I plopped down at a computer, looking around to make sure there was no one I recognized here. I quickly checked the bus schedule for the 27th of May. I would go straight from picking up my diploma to the bus station. Thankfully, there were two buses leaving the area, heading south. I decided on the 8:30 am leave time. Surely my mother would still be passed out and it would be hours before she realized that I was gone. Next step, check for motels. There were a couple in the area, but I would need cheap. The cheapest one was 200 a week. It looked a bit run down, but it would have to do. I jotted down the address on a piece of paper and quickly cleared the browsing history on the computer. I left the library, heading home quickly. Hopefully mom was still asleep.
I snuck inside quietly. Still no sign of f*ck boy and it was quiet, so I assumed that my mother was still in bed. I rushed to my room, closing the door behind me. I stashed the piece of paper in the secret pocket of my backpack, next to my cash. I made a quick count, to make sure it was all there, before replacing the backpack in it’s hiding spot. Just as I was closing the closet, my door opened. “Happy 18th hon.” My mom grumbled out. She looked like sh*t. “Thanks mom. It’s just another day though. No need to make a fuss today.” Not that she would, but sometimes she was a bit extra. She leaned her head on my door frame, just staring at me. “You alright?” I asked. She smiled “Just can’t believe you’re all grown up. You’re a good kid. I forget to tell you that sometimes.” Sometimes. How about all the time, I thought to myself. I just faked a smile “Thanks mom. But really, it’s just another day. Will be the same as yesterday, and the same as tomorrow.” She was still leaning on the door frame, she started rubbing her temple. “I think I need to go back to bed. I have a horrible headache. I will see you later for dinner. Peter is planning on coming over. I was so happy to hear that he had gotten you that cake. He’s really a sweetheart.” she smiled and walked back to her room, closing the door behind her. What f**ked up reality was she living in. He was most definitely not sweet. I’m sure my mom paid him with something s****l for that cake. I shuddered at the thought. He was a walking piece of garbage. I left my room, deciding to shower and mentally prepare myself for the evening.
- Writer
