A beautiful storm *COMPLETE*

What happened?

MADELINE’S POV

I woke up and groaned. I felt as if my head might explode. I screwed my eyes back shut, massaging my temples. What in the world happened last night. I couldn’t remember anything as my head continued to pound. The sound of light snoring startled me. I forced my eyes open, realizing that I was in fact, not in my own bed....or my own apartment. I sat up a little too quickly, as the room started to spin. I groaned loudly. Damien shot up from the floor. I looked at him with wide eyes. He looked worried. “Nothing happened, if that’s what you’re thinking. I don’t know where you live, so I brought you here,” he said quickly. I breathed a sigh of relief. He was going to be my coworker and I definitely didn’t want to make things weird before we even started. I ran my hands over my face, scrubbing my eyes. I looked down, realizing that I had just smeared the remnants of last night's makeup. I put my head down. “Where is your bathroom?” I sheepishly asked. “If you turn right when you leave the room, it’s the next door on the right. I have facewash in the top drawer if you need it.” I laughed, embarrassed, mumbling a thanks before rushing out of the room. I gasped when I looked at my reflection in the mirror. Oh god. I had been crying last night. Streaks of mascara were all the way down to my neck. My eyes were red and puffy. My hair looked like a rats nest. I took a deep breath, trying to recall the events that got me here, into Damiens bed. I felt guilty digging through his drawers, but I quickly found the face wash and a brush. I scrubbed my face, cleaning off everything that was left from last night. I quickly brushed my hair and checked my reflection. Unfortunately, unable to scrub the redness out of my eyes, it was going to have to do. I wished that I had different clothes. I mentally cursed Gemma for this stupid dress. As if he read my mind, there was a light knock on the door. “They’ll probably be a little big on you but I’ve got a t-shirt and sweats if you wanted them” he said. I opened the door and smiled “Thanks. I appreciate it.” I changed quickly exiting the bathroom and heading back to the bedroom, where Damien was waiting for me, sitting on the edge of his bed.

Why did I feel like I was doing the walk of shame. He already reassured me that nothing happened. I sighed, walking in and sitting next to him on the bed. Neither of us spoke and the silence was deafening. He broke the silence “What happened last night?” he questioned. I let out a humorless chuckle “Uhm, I was hoping that you would tell me?” I asked. He turned towards me, I could see sincerity in his eyes. He was trying to read if I genuinely didn’t remember. “Who’s Peter?” he asked seriously. My eyes went wide and I felt the color drain from my face. Why was he asking me about Peter. “I uh, don’t know what you’re talking about.” I tried to play dumb. He co*ked his head sideways and gave me a sad smile. “You were screaming last night. Telling Peter to get away from you. You were dancing with Josh and then something happened. You were fighting everyone who got close to you before you collapsed on the ground.” I gasped. Oh my god. I remember looking into Josh’s eyes and seeing the same blue of that monster. I must have had a panic attack. I rubbed my temples as the headache creeped back in full force. “Do you need some Tylenol?” Damien asked. “That would be great, thanks.” He left and returned a moment later with a Tylenol and a bottle of water. I mumbled thanks before taking a few and chugging the water. Damien cautiously walked back over and sat next to me. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t feel comfortable.” he sighed. I took a deep breath “Peter is the big bad wolf.” I chewed on the inside of my cheek, waiting for a response. He turned towards me. “Did he hurt you?” he said angrily. I felt tears swell in my eyes. I couldn’t speak, so I just nodded. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close. I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I let the tears fall. I never allowed myself to cry. I never wanted anyone to know that I was weak. But right now, I just needed a release. Damien just sat there and let me cry, not pushing for any more information, which I appreciated.

After what felt like a lifetime, I peeled myself off of him. I’m not sure how long I spent crying and then hiccupping, but it was longer than usual. I am so embarrassed. I can’t believe that I had a panic attack, in front of everyone at the club. I sit up, wiping my eyes. “I should probably go.” He stood up from the edge of the bed, extending his hand to help me up. He was looking at me intently, but I couldn’t bring myself to meet his gaze. I focused on the floor. He stood there a few moments before sighing. “If you ever need a friend, I’m here. If you want to talk, we can talk. If you don’t want to talk and just want company, I can do that too.” he said, giving me a sad smile. I just nodded. I don’t think that I can speak right now. I met Damien yesterday. He is supposed to be my second hand at work and now I’ve screwed everything up by having a panic attack and breaking down. I nervously pick at the skin around my nails. I promised myself that yesterday was going to be a fresh start. That I wasn’t going to allow my past to continue to control my future. Jokes on me. I will never escape that nightmare.

As I’m standing there, I realize I have no idea where I am and no vehicle to get home. “Where exactly do you live?” “I’m about ten minutes from the beach driving. Makes for about a 30ish minute walk.” he responds, then quickly adds “If you need a ride home, I can take you.” I force a smile “Thanks. I don’t venture out much beyond my neighborhood and the strip.” We walk slowly out to a newer model all black Audi. He opens the door for me, waiting for me to climb in, before closing it again and jogging around to his side. “Where are we headed?” He asks. “I live in a complex of condos along 4th avenue. Are you familiar with that area?” He nods and starts heading toward my place. As we drive, I can’t help but pick at my nail beds again. It’s a really bad habit. I’m ashamed, embarrassed, and nervous about being around Damien now. He’s been nothing but sweet and understanding, but god. Yesterday was supposed to be the start of my new life and I was so stuck in the past that I ruined my own birthday.

A few minutes later we pull up to my complex. I hesitate a moment. “Thanks for the ride home and thanks for, uh, keeping me safe last night.” He looks at me and smiles “Any time, really.” I just nod, unable to force a smile at this point. I start to walk up to the door of my condo when I hear him yell out, “What time am I meeting you for training?” Oh god. That’s tonight. Fu*k my life. “The bar opens at 5:00, can you be there around 3:00?” He nods “See you then!” I go inside of my condo, hearing him drive off after the door is closed behind me. I lean my back against the door, sliding down until I hit the floor. Pulling my knees up to my chest, I just sit in silence for a while, taking deep breaths to calm myself. I look around the room and my eyes land on my gallery wall. Still taking deep breaths, I focus on the pictures. Thinking about how they make me feel when I look at them. Focusing on how each one is unique to the artist that painted it. Focusing on the colors. I feel much calmer, avoiding another panic attack. It’s a trick that I learned in therapy. How did I get here? The old me never broke down. I put up with the bullshi* growing up and forced a smile every day. I guess all of that trying to be strong caught up with me like a wave, building momentum, and now it’s just crashing into my life with full force. I feel like I’m stuck just under the surface of the water, fighting the current from the wave, but unable to reach the surface for a deep breath. I’m going to take a long, hot, shower and try to wash the events of last night away.