Hating Flex

Chapter 8 Flex's POV

Her light was on in her room. I felt anger , it boiled and burnt my stomach. I caught them again. They didn't know I had. They never knew I had. But this s**t was starting to eat a hole in my soul. Years I had to keep this secret. And what for , for f*****g her? Why did I feel the need I had to? Over time, keeping this to myself had just fueled my hatred towards her. Mum had Derek now , he was a d**k sometimes and we clashed. But out of the bad bunch she had in the past. I would put up with him. For once in her life , she didn't have to worry about money. Or if he would ever raise his hand at me or her. I mean if he ever did, I am bigger now. And I would be hitting back, no longer the scared little boy from before.

The worst mum ever had was Lee. s**t , I still have nightmares sometimes about him. He kicked the s**t out of mum regularly. He would lock me in my room and I would have to listen to them fight and her cry from behind the door. Many times as a kid , I hoped he would save us. Selfishly , for him to save us, he would have to destroy them. That was after I first caught them. But he never did. the guy was a snake in a f*****g fake skin.

Everyone loved him, everyone thought he was this genuine bloke. Pillar of the community , a family man who idolized his wife and kids. Well, he was also banging my mom and had been for years. No fucker knew that did they. But I did, when I first found out. I had been a confused and broken kid. But I still knew I couldn't say anything. Because I had known it was wrong and I knew it would hurt her. Potentially take her away from me too. But the more her life got more perfect and mine got more shittier. I had hoped for her to somehow make it better.

That day at the tree , I had wanted her to say me and her would find us a way fro us to stay together. But instead she had thrown her dad's money into the mix. I didn't want her dad for anything. I saw the way Mum looked at Derek. And it was nothing like the way I had seen my mum look at her dad. She loved him and he used her for a side piece. Then it had turned to keeping my mouth shut for her mum too. I loved her mum. She had been the mum I needed back then when my mum was flaking.

I had caught them when I was coming back from the diner. Her dad left my back yard and went into his. I mean the balls on him to do it literally next door. No neighbors would see, there was a shared path between the back yards. Because me and Maya had always played together, they had just never fenced it off , or maybe it was because it was convenient for him to not have to come out of the front door and people see. Her mum's car had gone off of the driveway , Maya had been at the diner and Derek was away for two nights at a conference. And I had told mum I would be out all night , but after the diner I hadn't been in the mood. Nikki had seriously been getting on my nerves so I made an excuse and bailed. Plus, I found Maya's tongue lashing extremely entertaining. But after that, all they had done every time she passed our table was drag her down. She had kept her head up and just ignored them. But every now and then she would glance at me , and I would picture the almost kiss that had stupidly nearly happened.

But this secret was starting to eat me alive now. For a guy that already had demons from a shitty past , this was pretty much just finishing me off to be completely broken. Going down stairs, so I stopped starting at that bedroom window. I go to grab some pop from the fridge. When I walked in to the kitchen mum was sitting at the table , cigarette in hand and a glass of wine in front of her. This was what also happened when something had gone off between the two. Mum would feel s**t about herself and drink.

"Flex I thought you were staying out tonight ?" she says, shocked to see me. When I had finally arrived at the house after walking the block , it looked like I hadn't seen anything. She was in the shower. I had been hiding in my room with my music on my headphones since trying to cool myself down. " You were in the shower , I couldn't be arsed to stay out " I muttered. Opening the fridge and seeing it stocked with food was still something I couldn't get used to. When it was just me and mum , there would be a bare minimum. Every now and then, a flourish of food would happen. I had my theory that was when he may have slipped her some money. Like a w***e or some s**t. But mainly we would make do on no luxury and next to nothing.

The funny thing is , my mum was one of the girls that Maya had described earlier. Except dad didn't stick around. But I was definitely a mistake, one that stopped mum from living her dreams as a professional dancer, actor, whatever it was she wanted . She was beautiful , there was no mistaking that. She said my Nan and Gran had put her through every sort of dance lessons they could think of when she was a kid. And she loved it. Now look at her , getting drunk to numb her from guilt. I just wanted to scream at her " WHAT THE f**k AR YOU DOING ? DO YOU EVEN LOVE DEREK ?". I would rather go back to being poor , than the thought of my mum being unhappy.

" Have you thought anymore about what college you want to go to ? Or what is it you want to do ? " I tensed at the question. So many people are asking and pestering me about what I want with my life. " You know Derek said he would pay for you , he just wants you and him to get on and help you Flex. This is an opportunity I thought you wouldn't have son. Please don't waste it " her voice gets small. My back was still to her , my head still stuck in the fridge. " Is that why you are with him?" I asked , it just slipped out. Like my mouth said it before my brain had even finished thinking about it.

" What ? Why ? Why would you even ask that Flex ? " she sounded defensive. Mum was a s**t liar. Her voice got high pitched when she lied. She had just answered it for me. Straightening up, I closed the fridge door and turned and looked at her. Resting my back against the fridge, I crossed my arms over my chest. " Mum ?" I said, with a don't give me any s**t tone to my voice. She looked spooked , mum also hated confrontation after so many assholes in her life. She stands up abruptly. " Dont be stupid Flex " she snapped and stormed out of the room, snatching the bottle of wine off of the table. " Mum " I shouted, following after her.

She was heading up stairs and I paused at the bottom. " Mum, you can't use him that way " I chided. She pauses , her foot on the nearly last top step. " Flex , I have been a s**t mum. I know I have. Let me make sure I don't f**k up your future like I did your past. I am not just using him for money. I'm very fond of Derek. He's safe and he's sweet. He's good for us, Flex, so for f**k's sake just pick what you want to do ", then she storms off again and dammed her bedroom door behind her. Fond , she was fond of him. Not loved him.

Gritting my teeth, I felt like s**t. Why couldn't my life be easy? Going to the fridge, I grabbed out what I had been eyeing earlier. A bottle of vodka. Derek likes it in the fridge to have with lemonade and a lime slice. I'll get s**t for taking it , but I can't give a f**k right now. Going out back, I took the bottle with me and sat on one of the tree swings that had been up for years.There was another one at the side of this , one for me one for her. Her dad had put them up.

Screwing the lid off ,I flicked it on the grass and took a deep drink of the liquid that burnt and practically froze my insides as it went down. Such a contradiction. I sat there for ages. Half the bottle was already gone and I was definitely feeling the effects. I swayed on the swing. My eyes kept drawing to the bedroom light that was still on. After staring at it for maybe half an hour , it finally flicked off. I don't know when, in the next twenty minutes, I decided it was a good idea to climb into her window. But I was doing it, I can't even remember deciding on it. I nearly slipped and fell off of the porch getting up , but I managed to keep hold of the vodka bottle as I did.

I stood at the window trying to see her in the darkness for a minute , swaying back and forth on my feet. " Safer to go in right " I asked myself. "Yeah , I could fall from here ", I sniggered back. Finding myself talking to myself to be funny. " Sssshhh don't wake her up though ", I chided myself as I slowly lifted the window the rest of the way to fit myself in. I don't know how, but I managed to climb in without falling through the window. Stumbling over to the bed , I leant down where I knew her head would be and heard her deep breathing. " Pssst Maya , Maya pssssttt "I whispered , well at least I thought I did. Hopefully I did. The last thing I needed was to be busted because I woke her mum or dad up. Placing a hand on her shoulder, I shook her. " What . . . what ?" she said, sounding funny from being woke up from sleep. I laughed at her sounding so confused. " Flex ?" she whispered and I tried finding her mouth with my finger to shush her.

" Shhhh Maya " I said and the next thing I felt her moving about, I don't think my finger went on her mouth. It felt like her cheek and then her bedside light came on , near blinding me. throwing my hands up to protect my face from the bright light. The vodka bottle is still in my hand. " Flex , what are you doing here ? " she hisses at me. I looked at her over my hands. " What you doing here ?" I asked her. She scowled at me and pointed to her window. "You're in my room " she stated. It makes me laugh loudly and she near on shoots out of bed to slam her hand over my mouth. " SSSHHH i***t " she says, looking at her bedroom door.

Looking at the door, I caught her drift and nodded. She slowly pulls her hand off. She was standing on her bed to be able to reach me. So we are pretty much face to face now. " Your wasted " she tells me, like I didn't know. I mean I was the one that was wasted. So I shrugged at her. " I have had a few sips " I lied. She looks over it and goes back to asking why I was there. So , I shrugged again. " I don't know , I'll go ", I told her, and headed back to the window. She was in front of me super quickly , so quickly my drunk. I thought she had super powers of some s**t. " You will end up breaking your neck if you climb down there , I don't know how you made it up. " She sounded disapproving. ", I kept this safe, " I said, like that made it better, flashing my bottle in her face.

She takes it out of my hand and puts the bottle to her lips and takes a drink , then proceeds to nearly cough her guts up everywhere. " Thats nasty " she says. " You shouldn't drink. No drinking, no smoking and no swearing for you Maya", I told her off , taking the bottle back. She looks mad now. Her hands went to her hips. " And why not ?" I was tired. I felt tierd. So , I put the bottle on her desk and stripped my top off and then my boots awkwardly. " What are you doing ?" she hisses. I ignored her and stumbled over to her bed and took my side , well, what used to be my side and lay down. " Sleep Maya ", I told her. My eyes were already closing.

"FLEX " she whispered hissed. Then again, when I ignored her, " You can't because your better than all of us, that's why you can't swear or smoke or drink. You Maya will be better than all of us " I blacked out after that.