Dear Journal ,
My inner self-loathing was taking over , massively. Maya's f*****g bruised cheek kept assaulting me over and over again. Images flashed through my head on repeat. Same as the head teachers' words. Strange how I only feel I can express this fully here. I'd seen her looking at me most of the day. She wanted me to open up and talk to her. Tell her what was bothering me. But how could I tell her that my head was screaming at me that I was doing the wrong thing? Being with her. Temptation to take her as money was powerful. Sleeping at the side of her every night was half pure bliss and half torture. I couldn't be her first. I wasn't worthy of it. Not when everything was basically telling us not to be together. The secret , the drama and the fact she kept getting hurt. The s**t t
