LARISSA

Chapter 4

LANCE

“I can't believe you still have the guts to ask a favor from me, Lance. After all the mess that you did here? After putting us in shame? Goodness, Lance!” I can see Denver's rage at me.

Well, I can't blame him. Denver is my immediate supervisor. He used to have a lot of faith in me. I was his most trusted investigator in his team and this agency.

Back then, I'm the top 1 private investigator here in the Prima Activo Agency. The leading agency in the country. Anyone can see my face and name anywhere. Everyone is looking upon me, idolizing me, and praising me. All because of my credentials and skills. I handled the most crucial cases that happened in the country. I was even hired to discover who killed the previous President. They called my service when the country faced the goriest family m******e. They want my help to locate the biggest heist in the country.

And I put my sweat, blood, and effort into every case that I handled. Since I was young, it is really my dream to be the greatest investigator in my generation. I love helping people, solving cases, and looking for mysteries.

I love the satisfaction that it brings me whenever I solve cases. Not because of the compliments that I will receive. But the self-fulfillment. The feeling that I helped someone.

But everything's changed when my ex-wife left me. I thought she would understand the nature of my work that I'm always in danger. I thought she understood why I couldn't always be with her. I wasn't that popular when we got married. But after a year, my name becomes popular as the years go by.

And each year, I get busier and busier. I thought my wife understood me. She knew my dreams and ambitions. I never lied to her. I never looked at another woman. It's just that… I was so devoted to my beloved work.

As I'm busy being a great investigator and helping other people. I didn't realize that I was already neglecting my wife. I don't have any more time with her. I think I'm just returning home like one time per month.

And I can't blame my wife if she got tired of understanding me, especially, we don't have a child. I can’t blame her if she wants to seek love and care. Suppose she wanted to be loved by another man.

I know cheating is not forgivable. However, I understand where my wife is coming from. I drive her to the life of misery. I make her life lonely and sad. And it's my fault. My damn fault.

My wife left me for another man who could shower her love and attention. Things that I failed to do when I was her husband.

I resent after my wife left me. That's when I realized that my wife is everything to me. My world. My life. That my popularity and ambition aren't worthy without my wife.

That I tried to reach that dream to give my wife the life that she deserves. A family with no problem when it comes to money. But I'm wrong. My wife has never been a materialistic woman. She's fine with plain living. She never wanted us to become billionaires. All she wants is to be with me, take care of me, and love me.

I thought showering her with my millions and checkbooks would compensate for my absence. But no. After I gave her money and things to make up for her, that only made things worst.

And now, she had already found someone who loved her and took care of her. Things that I should have done when I was her man.

But now, even if I ask for forgiveness, I know she will never go back to me. I know she is happy now. And she deserves it.

I became an alcoholic and wasted after my wife left me. I even go and report to my clients while I'm under the influence of alcohol and drugs. I tried to do those vices to divert my mind from thinking about my wife. I need to forget the pain.

My client reported me to the agency. My agency gave me another chance and gave me a new mission.

But since I'm vulnerable and emotional, for the first time in my life, I failed as a private investigator. Not just that, I also put my agency's name in shame. One day, I was drinking alone in the bar when a stranger provoked me and said my career was shrinking, and he saw my wife f*****g another man. Anger fueled me and what I did to him is what I regretted most in my life.

I hurt him. I punched him. I was under the influence of alcohol and drugs. And I didn't realize that I almost killed the man only if no one stopped me.

My supervisor butted in and saved me from the mess. The next few days, my name is on the news and social media. The people's sympathy is in the guy. And I can’t blame everyone. I wasn't myself that day.

I'm not really a violent person. It's just that… he attacks me personally. And I'm no God.

I have limitations as well. The Police have arrested me, and I didn't give it a f**k.

But then, my immediate supervisor helped me and bailed me. He preaches me to all the mess I did, including neglecting my wife.

He thought that I was already back in my senses, but in just one week, I saw myself in a riot, and I was charged for physical damages.

The agency decided to terminate me because I kept dragging the agency's name.

While I was alone, I had suicide ideation. I was at the lowest point of my life. Everyone turned their back against me. I felt like a big loser. My life is shattering to pieces.

But then, my wife goes back. I thought that she would tell me that she still loved me. But then, I was wrong. She visited me to inform me that she would be going to file for divorce. Her man invites her to go abroad to start a new life. My wife looks so happy. So alive. She looks ten years younger than her age. She seems so in love.

She told me that she hated me for destroying my life. I shouldn’t depend my life on her. And a lot of people are looking forward to my service and skills. She told me I should move forward and stop hurting myself.

I even remembered her last words.

“I still care for you, Lance. Not romantically, but definitely as a human. You're a great person—a great private investigator. I never regret that once in my life, I loved a man like you. You make me the person I'm today. And I wish you the best. Please, fix your life. You're not the amazing person I once knew. You shine in your own path. Please continue to walk that way. Somethings are happening for a reason. And I will be happy, truly happy if you get back to the right way. You still have a chance, Lance. Redeem yourself,”

Those were my wife's last words before we said goodbye to each other.

And that time, I knew, there's no turning back.

I've been selfish to her all throughout our marriage. She always gives. I always take. And this time, I should provide, even if that decision pains me.

I signed our divorce paper and let her move on and be happy with her life.

After a week of isolation and realization, I have already made up my mind.

I will start up from scratch. I removed my vice. Fix myself and undergo psychiatry.

Months after, I have decided to go back in the agency and prove myself. That's why I'm here today—redeeming myself.

“I’m sorry for everything, Denver. I really do. I was at the lowest point of my life back then. But I'm a changed man now. Please, let me prove myself again and put your trust in me,”

Denver doesn't seem convinced.

I gave him the records I have in the Psychiatry Center. “I’m a brand new man now, Denver. My ex-wife and I are already divorced, and I'm happy for her. Life goes on, and I have to move forward. Asking for another chance and to redeem myself isn't too much to ask, right…?”

Denver looked straight into my eyes and sighed. “Then, proved me you're worth of second chances, Lance. I'll give you the case of Larissa Laurents.”

TO BE CONTINUED…