My obsession

wishes

I am Raven Stiles. I am twenty three years old and and I look too tiny for my age. I attended a great school, Stanford university, but somehow bad luck clings to me and my family more than a skin. I have an elder sister who seems more like a disaster and is very carefree, she sleeps around and never bring home anything that implies she is doing what she is doing because of she wants to help us, instead, she comes home to devour what me and my mother had managed to save.

My mom suffers a lot, likewise me, we do any kind of job to put food on the table. I, for instance work in different restaurants each day, it's possible because we make shifts so I get to have double pays from two restaurants.

In the night, I would work In a bar as a waitress. If you're thinking, no, I don't like the job, infact I hate it so much because I get harrassed most times, some men wouldn't just understand that I'm not there as a prostitute but as a waitress and surprisingly women too. But I can't stop working there, because as the devil will have it, the job pays more than my other part time jobs combined together.

Okay, fast forward to reality, my nose are flaring and eyes stagnant as I think about the possibility of getting in the Teron shoes company. My best friend Nova just sat me down on a table in a restaurant we both work in to tell that Ethan Teron stated that there is an opening for the work of assistant.

"This has always been your dream job, who knows, this may be your moment of greatness, apply for it" I looked at her, I have never seen a human on earth that watches out for me like she does, she makes me see that I'm more than just a person doing part time jobs. She never fails to remind me how smart I am.

"Look at me Nova, I'm so tiny and all, who would even like his assistant to be someone that wears glasses and actually acts like a nerd, i mean have you seen his former assistants? They were all damn hot, nothing compared to me, you would always see them by his side on magazines and newspapers, I don't want to embarrass myself"

She looked at me, not the least surprised by what I was saying, by now she was used to it.

"If only you can hear what you are saying, baby girl, you are beautiful, and amazingly hot, I don't freaking know where you got that stupid idea from, but guess what, they are not helping you trust me darling. Now listen carefully, you are applying for that job, infact I can feel it, it's your space"

"What if-"

"No, no, I don't want you saying 'if's' I believe in you, even more than you believe in yourself. Besides the pay is marvelous. If you should get in, there will be no need for you to work here, and any other place, do you even understand what that means?"

I nodded.

"No you don't, of course you don't"

I pushed my hand into my hair, the gesture I have gotten used to when I'm worried, or unsure about something, "I just don't want to get my hopes high, you know"

"All you have to do is dress formal, and look neat, your credentials will be the best there I promise you"

"Yea.. but what happened to his last assistant, did you hear why he sacked her?"

"I have no idea, but that shouldn't scare you, you are not her, okay?"

"Nova, he sleeps with a lot of girls, even his assistants, I have heard that he sleeps with them even in the office, haven't you heard. I don't want to be one of those girls" I know I was worried about everything, but yes I have to weigh my options, not that I have any.

She gave me a warm smile, "As I said, you are not them, those girls gave themselves to be used, because of course no boss would rape his workers, he would have been sued by now, so you just be you, and watch yourself get this job"

"God say more things, convince me more, I'm almost there, I'm almost convinced"

She slapped my arm jokingly while laughing before standing up, "let's go back to work, empty head"

I laughed before asking, "when is the interview?"

She showed me all her teeth and i smiled back, "it's Monday by 8 am, everything about it is on today's newspaper, check it out"

"Alright, thank you very much, I really appreciate you"

"You are always welcome darling"

With that, we went back to work. You might also be wondering why Nova doesn't care about having the job for herself, well it's because, my weird best friend here, loves everything that has to do with cooking and baking, it was her choice to work here, unlike me that didn't have a choice. She literally made it possible for me to work here. And now here she is again, giving me that moral support I need to get this job. Sometimes when I'm in need she provides, even before I ask her, she had offered me the other empty bedroom in her apartment, I had to turn it down because I couldn't leave my mom all alone. Some people are just heaven sent aren't they?

I looked at her as she flicked her black hair off her forehead and gave the most serious face when she noticed Andrew, the guy that has being stalking her coming into the restaurant. Relentless, he gave her his best smile which i have gotten used to seeing and walked up straight to her. The poor guy does not even try to hide why he always comes, reason being always very open.

I don't blame him, Nova is a very beautiful young lady, two years older than i am though. Unlike me, she has very pronounced curves, her brown eyes ever light, her black hair always pulled back in a long braid. She was so beautiful. I admire her a lot, and I see her sometimes as an elder sister.

She turned to me and gave me signal to come but I grinned and left the place, giving them all the time they need. One day, she will fall for this guy, I know for sure.

Leaving them, my mind went back to this job thing, I thought about how it will be extremely hard for me to sit in front of the most handsome man on earth and talk. I pray I won't embarrass myself.

**********

I woke up extra early, couldn't help it because of the anxiousness I was feeling, I couldn't stop thinking about my interview even in my sleep.

I was buttoning my white shirt when I heard a knock on my door, "come in"

My sister got in and immediately narrowed her eyes, looking at me, "is that the new attire for your restaurant?" Oh, she even knows I work in restaurant, blessings.

I let out hot breath and took in a better one, I wondered what she wanted, "no"

"Okay, chill, what's up with the bitter attitude, I just want some cash that's all" she started to roam around the room looking for my purse. I stopped and turned to look at her, she looked horrible, and smells like fermented alcohol.

"You need to stop doing this Stacey, it's not fair, look at you, God, have you been drinking"

"None of your business" I ran to snatch my purse from her when she found it under the pillow.

"It's my business what you do with my money, Stacey, the money I work my ass out for, for Christ sakes, man up, do something to help yourself, we all are trying to" I can't count the number of times I have said this to her but everyday I say it with renewed hope that she would listen once.

"f**k you" there comes her everyday comeback, "don't freaking talk to me like that, I'm your elder sister"

"Exactly, that is why you should not collect money from me, I'm the younger one!"

"Are you gonna give me the money or not, if not, imma go meet momma she gonna give me even more"

I looked at her, with so much hate, didn't even realize when it built up, she knew that mom never tells her no, even though she is well aware of what Stacey does with her money. Now Stacey uses this to lure me into giving her money.

I quietly took out some cash and gave her, I didn't look at her I just went back to the mirror. Trying my best to calm down, this is all my father's fault.

"Yo, love you sis" she went out of the room as fast as how she came in.

This is the routine, everyday she would come and do the same thing, and say the same thing then just like that she would have money in her hands without working for it.

I finished dressing, I looked at my oversized skirt and blouse, I looked absolutely not amazing, I looked everything but amazing. The only thing that I know I have and I am blessed with is my hair, it is as black as coal, and very long, I cut my hair once in a while to avoid looking like Rapunzel, a black haired Rapunzel. Any other thing on my body sucks I swear.

My mom's out for work so I am the only one left to go, I wore my horrible glasses then wished myself luck and went out of the house, locking the door behind me.

Few minutes later, I reached the company, usually when you see places in real life, you would say that the picture of it was more beautiful, but this time around it's the opposite, infact the pictures I have seen didn't do justice to what I am seeing right now. It is huge, like extremely huge. For a moment I thought of going back home. How lucky will I be to get a job here, the thing is I am usually not lucky, so technically a miracle is the only thing going to save me now. Though I don't think even that will.

I walked into the company and marched straight to where the receptionist is, giving her my best smile, I greeted.

"Good morning ma'am" she replied.

"Urmmm I'm here for the job interview, which way can I go?" My smile still lingering on my lips.

She looked at me, head to toe, then head again, she opened her mouth then she closed it without saying a word. Her reaction made me understand though, that I made a wrong choice by coming here, and for the hundredth time today I thought of letting it go, but Nova would be disappointed, my mother too.

"Keep on walking straight, the first right turn you will see the rest of the people waiting for the interview"

"Okay, thank you" I gave her the smile I could muster.

"But just to be sure, you are here for the secretary job interview?" She asked, unable to believe her eyes, she looked like she heard the most unreal news today.

I felt hurt, but I answered anyway, "yes, that's what I'm here for" this is where I need Nova to cheer me up and give me moral support.

"That's the way then" one last look and she was back to her computer.

I looked around for two seconds before I started walking to the direction she pointed, turning left, I braced myself for the kind of people I was about to see, taking a deep breath I promised myself that I will not be intimidated, I couldn't believe my eyes. My eyes widened as I saw the people sitted down on the long benches that were provided. All were ladies, not just ladies but hot ladies, all dressed in very short and tight skirt and also very tight shirt. Like a uniform. Their cleavages were exposed, and their thighs half way naked, for Mr Teron to see of course, shouldn't they be sending such people away for improper dressing? No, they motivate them too, how pathetic. Their faces carried heavy makeup, for a moment I thought I got the wrong place because they looked like they came for a fashion runway.

They all turned to look at me, oversized shirt and skirt, tiny shapeless thing, I began scrutinizing myself, thinking what they are obviously thinking. I hated the way I feel pity for myself, but I can not help picking out my imperfections.

I snapped out of my thoughts when one extremely beautiful girl that had her n*****s almost out began laughing, "this must be a joke" she said as she laughed harder, while she covered her mouth trying to control herself, "what do you think this is, an interview to fill in for the pastor's wife? Enlighten me please"

I just stood there, staring at her as she stared back at me, still laughing and others too along with her.

Whatever this is, I just feel like the ground should swallow me up.

"I just knew someone will come here dressed like a nun" she continued.

I felt the hair on my body rise as I try to suppress the tears that threatened to well up in my eyes.

The door of Mr Teron's opened and everyone's attention went to the door, alerting me that the boss himself is coming out.

The sound of his shoe more audible as he finally came into view.

My eyes almost plucked from there sockets, because such beauty can only be found and talked about in books. He looked like a Greek god. His dark brown hair was brushed back as they settle in layers behind his head. His greenish blue eyes were almost sparkling, they carried so much comfort and beauty that I know I wouldn't mind being lost in them forever, his nose perfectly pointed, like it was shaped by a sculptor. He carried so much power that you can feel it, I know because I did immediately he walked into the room. His body was fully built, in my life, I had never liked people who worked out but I find myself checking out this guy from head to toe. I took a breath and arranged my glasses.

He cleared his throat and I came back to reality, then realized that realized that I was not the only one that was lost, I have seen his pictures on magazines, but again, they did not do justice to the creature I am seeing right now.

"Who was laughing?" No flick of joke was in his voice. He kept quiet, giving time to whosoever it was to speak, patience invisible on his face.

"I said who was laughing?" He looked around this time, as if searching for the owner of the voice he heard, until his eyes landed on me. I thought it would pass but it didn't, it just rested there, locked on my eyes. He looked like he had been caught off guard, but from what. The lines on his forehead squeezed in as he looked at me, the discomfort evident in his eyes. For a moment, he stared, then like he realised what he was doing, his looks changed, like he was suddenly disgusted before he took his eyes off me.

My heart clenched at that, there is no way I can get this job, I'm just wasting my precious time.

"It was me" I had almost forgotten that he asked a question.

"Get out of my company" I immediately gasped out of shock. Wait what? Just because she laughed? I mean I ought to feel good because she was laughing at me but isn't that too harsh.

"You want to join her? You are free to" he said referring to me.

I shook my head twenty times in a second, "no I don't"

"Good, because I don't want to hear that sound again" I nodded again, showing my absolute understanding.

"I'm very sorry Mr Teron it will not happen again" she begged. She is the most beautiful girl here, hasn't he noticed yet. I had concluded few seconds ago that he would go for her, I was very sure infact.

"Get the f**k out of my company or the security will help you out" rude freak.

I almost pitied her when she picked her bag from the floor beside her leg and held on tight to the file she had been holding, and stumped out.

Other people looked around and took deep breaths, I swear I thought I almost saw one smiling. I don't blame them though, even I thought she was a threat.

"Who is Anna Michaels?" He asked the crowd.

"I am" she said raising her hand. He looked at her from head to toe. What's with people in this office and looking like that.

"You are up, follow me," he turned to the rest of us, "she will call the next person"

One last look at my direction, he hopped into his office. I must look pathetic I know. People were called in alphabetically so I was almost the last person that was called in.

But before that a lot of people had stumped out of his office, looking like he had hurt their ego, so when I was called, I braced myself for the worst.

The door squeaked open and I walked in, "Raven Stiles?" He asked.

"Yes" he looked up at me then, because when I entered his eyes was fixed to the screen of his computer.

He looked, and I looked back, the same way it happened outside, do I look familiar or something.

My mind started to roam everywhere, he probably sees me like a funny little nun who wore glasses but still dared to come to his office just to try his patience.

As if to confirm my thoughts, he finally spoke, "do you realize that you are here for a job interview?"

"Yes I do" he should ask me to sit.

"Why are dressed like a clown"

I opened mouth but nothing came out, I just stared at him, like a fool.

"Are you dump?"

I shook my head.

"Then answer the f*****g question"

"Because I thought it was formal, job interviews are supposed to be formal aren't they?" If he wanted me to dress like a slut he should as well tell me to get the f**k out.

"Hmmm..." He said checking me out, "before I ask you anything, how old are you, why do you look a twelve year old?"

I flinched at his words, "I am twenty three"

"Twenty three? Did you lack food when growing up?"

"That's rude Mr Teron" I don't have any idea when that got out of my mouth. Oh God!

"What did you say?!"

I just stared at him as he clenched his jaw, "I see you don't have any idea who you are talking to, it's clear you are not here for the job"

"I am, my file is here" I rose it for his eyes to see clearly.

"First, you can't ever speak to me that way again, do you understand?"

Again, I just stared at him, all I want to do is tell him he is nothing but a fool but no word came out, to which I'm grateful.

"f**k do you understand English?!" The guy has lost his patience completely.

"Yes I do" I, on the other hand is still surprisingly calm, not the least afraid.

"And?" He was glaring now at me.

"I understand what you said"

"Good, now sit" he pointed to the left sit opposite him, and I sat down.

"Let me see your file Miss Raven" he stretched his hand and collected the file, his hand was very big, giving me a reminder that I am a tiny being. And also that it would be comforting to lay in his arms, just that he is the one that gives reason to be comforted.

He opened it and went through without saying a word to me. He flipped through the pages and I could swear that he wasn't going through it.

At some points, he rose his head to look at me, like he was actively comparing the person sitted across him with the one been talked about in the file.

"It hasn't stated here that you have job experiences"

Really, he didn't see my G.P? My level of education?, "I don't have any that should be stated, I have been working in a restaurant for a long time now due to lack of work, but I know I will do very well here"

"Do you even know what being a assistant means?" He dropped my file carelessly on the table and I almost said something about it. I decided not to loose focus. But how on earth I will I come all the way here, leaving my parents and asking for permission to go on a leave from my work place If I had no idea what being an assistant means.

"Yes I do"

"Now do you understand what being my assistant means?"

"Should it be any different sir?" Really should it? He is just Ethan Teron, not some god. Yea I know I said he looked like a Greek god but now I take back my words. He is so rude.

He laughed, "what does this place look to you, a circus? I'm sorry but we don't joke around here"

"I wasn't planning on joking round Mr Teron".I said as innocent as I could sound.

He looked at me, like I was some kind of alien, infact I thought he was lacking what to say but of course proving me wrong should be his next go.

"You do know that you are nothing compared to my former assistants right? What gave you the impulse to come here in the first place?"

I can't believe he is even waiting for me to answer him. I could feel my heart swelling with hurt, just when I was about to pat myself on the back and say well done, he said that. To me. People are so cruel.

"Why do you think all those people outside were dressed like that? You want to apply as a nun?"

"Look, when I go out I do so with my assistant I show them off in meetings and all, yes, I want the brains but I don't want a f*****g nun too, if I were you I would have turned back immediately I saw those hotties sitted out there, but no, you think you have enough confidence? I don't want to be seen around someone that poverty is written all over her face, moreover, your not that impressing.

Tears welled up in my eyes, this time I wasn't hiding it, I tried but it was too much. How dare he talk to me that way, just because I am here, looking for a job in his company doesn't mean he gets to talk to me the way he likes. Yea, i am poor, but my pride cannot be underestimated.

"You know what Ethan or whatever you call yourself, you and your company can go to hell" I harshly wiped my tears off my cheek with the back of my hand.

"You think you are all superior and mighty? Like some sought of god? No you are not! You are human just like I am, just that you are more privileged than I am, yea you had parents that worked hard for you when you were tiny, bravo, but guess what, it doesn't make others a stumping ground to you, because in the eyes of many other people, you are nothing. Go to hell" as I spoke, he looked at me with shocked eyes, like he didn't expect my outburst.

I picked up my file and stump out, banging the door on my way out. The girls that were left there laughed at me as I walked passed them, as if trying to say that they knew it would happen.

Through the ride back to my house, I cried, not only because I was humiliated but also because lie as I might, deep within me, I had hoped that I would get the job, I had imaged my mom and I having the best life we could get from my new pay, but then, it has never been good to dream.

I got home and I met my mom on the couch, knitting some clothes, "hey mom"

"How are you doing"

"I'm fine" I went straight to the fridge and got a drink, I was fully aware of my mom's eyes on me.

"How was it?" Worry was already written all over her face.

"I don't want to talk about it" my voice was shaky, if I talked about it, I would break down.

"Come here honey" she said as she stretched her hands for me to get in.

I walked to the couch and into her arms, letting her down was not what I planned on doing.

"I'm so sorry" I sobbed.

"Shhh baby it's not your fault, it's not your fault" she rubbed my head, making me feel safe and loved.

"I promise I will find another job, I promise"

"I know you will, you are a bright kid"

I stayed there as she rubbed my head, I didn't know when I fell asleep.

**********

"That stupid egoistic womaniser!" I could see Nova's face reddened with pure anger.

"I was so embarrassed and hurt, you should have seen me Nova" I said rubbing my head. Since yesterday, I've had headache that wouldn't go away because of the crying, thank God I took permission from my other boss, I would have had to go for work yesterday after that dreadful interview. I need to be less emotional, that son of a gun does not deserve my tears.

"Aww. Poor thing, you should have called me to tell him exactly what he is" she cracked her joints as she spoke.

I can't help but laugh, "and what exactly is he?"

"A fool of course, is that even a question?"

I laughed hard, this girl cheers me up even in the darkest of days, when nothing seems to make sense in my life.

"Yea, I agree, he is a fool"

"A big fool, don't worry about him Raven, you will definitely get another job, he is not the only one that has company that is making it in this country, and not all are as childish as he is"

I smiled at her trying not to let my hopes high again.

"I'm telling you, one day his business will crumple, he doesn't have what it takes to run such a big company"

"Yea, but I hope not"

"You must be kidding, on your behalf, I will fast for it to happen"

"That's evil" I said laughing.

"No that's merciful" she can just be a comedian.

I grinned when Andrew walked in, "your boyfriend is here"

"I don't know what this boy wants from me"

"The guy is in love, don't blame him" she blushed as I said that. I grinned and left her alone.

Immediately, my phone rang, I took it from my pocket to see who it was but I didn't recognize the number.

"Hello?"

"Hello, am I speaking to Raven Stiles?" The unfamiliar feminine voice asked.

"Yes you are, and who are you?"

"I am calling from the Teron shoes company, you were interviewed for the space of assistant yesterday right?"

"No I mean yes, I did" I wanted saying no.

"Miss Raven Stiles, I want to inform you that you have been chosen for the position of assistant for Mr Ethan Teron and you are to commence work tomorrow by 7 am" my eyes widened, my heart beat increased, I could hear it pounding hard through my ears. There definitely has to be a mistake somewhere. Maybe there is another Stiles or even another Raven, because this is not possible.

"Wait, urmm I think there is a confusion somewhere. Mr Eric I mean Ethan Teron clearly told me I wasn't fit for the job, you definitely mistook me for someone else"

"Hold on, I need to ask Mr Teron"

I heard tiny whispers on the other side of the line before, I heard a male voice clearing his throat.

"Miss Raven, do you want me spell it out for you, I want you at work tomorrow by 7 am, I like things done on time, and I love my coffee without sugar, are you listening?"

I cleared my throat, my voice lost, " go- got it, I will be there by 7"

"Good, and please, dress well"

He cut the call before I got to even say a word, I glared at the phone as if it was him.

Nova.

I practically ran to where she was, "Nova! We did it! We did it" I hugged her tight before she could understand anything I was saying.

"Speak English Raven, we did what, is it what I'm thinking?" She asked with excitement already evident in her voice.

"Yes! I got the job, they just called me to tell me I was selected, God I'm so excited I can't believe this"

"Ahhh!! Oh my God, come over here" she hugged as tight as I hugged her, even more tighter, "I'm so so proud of you darling, you did it"

"No, we did it"

"Guess what?"

"What?"

"It's f*****g shopping time"

"You know I don't have cash for that" I said in between laughs.

"I got you baby"