The Slain Saint

One-1

One

“ATTENTION!” HELEN COMMANDS, looking absolutely gorgeous in her dress blue uniform. “Officer, come forward!”

She allows her female officers to choose slacks or a skirt for their dress uniforms, but she always prefers skirts. People think that it's because she’s just old-fashioned or perhaps because she likes to embrace her femininity.

I, of course, know better. She insists it’s easier to get to a thigh holster just above her knee than to an ankle holster.

I have no idea, so I take her word for it.

All of the 20 or so men and women under her command are assembled this morning in the police station parking lot, along with Dan Conway’s wife and kids and several other families, for a special ceremony giving a commendation to one of their own. Walking proudly between the two rows of her fellow officers, this morning’s hero comes forward with her partner.

“This commendation reads,” Helen says, “‘that on July 24, 2021, this officer, while not on duty, nonetheless stepped forward, putting herself at risk, to secure evidence related to a major drug operation, which also resulted in the solution of three murders in the city of Myerton.’ For her bravery, initiative, and selfless devotion to duty, it is my pleasure to award this medal of commendation to Officer Cupcake. Officer Cupcake, please step forward.”

As the assembled officers applaud, the proud black and silver German shepherd walks forward with her partner, Officer Bob Sparks, and sits on command. Helen bends over and places the metal in question around her neck. She reaches out her hand and Cupcake extends a paw for her to shake.

Helen signals for quiet and says, “I am also pleased to announce that as of today, Officer Cupcake is promoted to the rank of Sergeant in the Myerton Police Department.” More applause as Helen hands Sergeant stripes to Officer Sparks who salutes his Chief before the two police officers return to their seats.

Helen commands, “At ease!” As everyone in line relaxes, she says, “You are now dismissed. Go out and do some good today.”

The crowd breaks up, with officers on duty going to their cars or their posts in the station while others crowd around Cupcake and her handler. I join the crowd as Helen comes over and says, “There are doughnuts in the break room if you want one.”

“When have you ever known me to turn down a doughnut?” I say, offering her my arm and beginning to escort Helen to the back door of the station.

“Excuse me, Father Tom.” Helen and I turn as Officer Sparks and Cupcake approach us.

“Father,” he says, “I would be grateful if you would give Cupcake a blessing. I normally take her to the Blessing of the Animals at Saint Clare’s in October but we missed this past year.“

“I’ll be glad to,” I say with a grin, “but I assumed since she was a German shepherd that she was a Lutheran.”

I can hear Helen rolling her eyes as Sparks laughs politely. Realizing my joke really isn’t that funny, I bend over and give Sergeant Cupcake a blessing, for which I am rewarded with a lick on my hand.

“This will certainly tide her over until then,” I say. “But do bring her by the church for a booster blessing on the first Saturday in October.“

“Oh, I will, Father. My kids look forward to it. Are they going to have a petting zoo this year?”

“Yes, as far as I know, as it will be an opportunity for me to demonstrate my reconciliation with the alpaca who attacked me last Christmas.”

Helen snorts as Sparks says, “Oh, yes, sir, Father. I know all about that.”

Since Sparks’ family is not a member of the parish, and I don’t recall seeing him at the Living Nativity—though to be fair, I remember little of that night—I ask, “Oh? Who told you?”

“Oh, no one told me about it sir. I saw it on YouTube. Well, if you’ll excuse us, Father, Chief Parr,” Sparks says, as six-year-old Catherine Conway comes running over, crying, “Cupcake!” and dropping to the ground to put her arms around the Sergeant’s neck.

“Catherine,” Dan says sternly, trotting up behind her. “We’ve talked about this before. You are not supposed to hug Sergeant Cupcake’s neck or even pet her, without asking first. She might think you’re a bad guy and hurt you.”

“Daddy,” Catherine says patiently, “Cupcake knows me and would never think I was a bad guy. She likes me better than she likes the twins, because they want to bounce on her, and also because I remind her of the little girl who had her when she was a puppy.”

We all just look at Dan, who shrugs his shoulders, takes Catherine by the hand, and walks off, as Sparks comments, “Strangely enough, she does look like the daughter of the officer who trained her.”

He then walks off and I comment to Helen, “I’m beginning to worry about Catherine and how her, I guess we can call it a ‘gift,’ is affecting her life. I don’t want her to feel stigmatized by being different.”

“I wouldn’t worry too much if I were you,” Helen replies reassuringly. “Things are different from when we were young. Kids are less likely to bully, especially kids who are homeschooled. Not to mention, she’s a pretty tough little cookie.”

“I hope you’re right,” I sigh, and then add, “Well, let me get that doughnut before I go to my office and leave you to your duties, Chief.”

***