JACE

Ten

SHE CAN'T move, kapag gusto niyang tumayo masakit ang p********e niya.

"Micah, anak"

Her mother went inside her room and sat at the corner of her bed. She caress her head while lovingly looking at her.

"I didn't know na kung ano ang nangyari sakin mangyayari din sayo"ani ng kaniyang ina.

Naguguluhang napatitig siya sa kanyang ina.

"Are... A.. Raped... Victim too.. Mama?"alanganin niyang tanong sa ina.

All her life she thought that she's living with a perfect family. With her side a loving parents and a supportive brothers.

Hindi niya alam na may napagdaanan na ganito ang mama niya.

Mahinang natawa ang mama niya, tumayo ito at sinamahan siyang humiga sa kama. Her mother hug her while caressing her hair, just like she used to do to her when she's a kid.

"It's a yes and a no baby"ani ng mama niya.

"I'm confused mama"

"Your papa, he courted at me for a long time anak. I was so sheltered well by your lolo and Lola. So innocent that I don't know alot of things in the world"pagsisimula ng mama niya.

She know that part, para kasing naging katuwaan nalang ng pamilya nila iyon noon. They're parents was teasing them three, she, and her two brothers that they'll just only have a home school teacher and will never go out the house. Just like thier mother.

"Things doesn't went well to us before, may mga bagay na hindi pabor samin ng papa niyo noon. Tapos masyado Pa akong bata, and your papa gets tired courting me I guess. Basta madaming nangyari, then one time he went to a bar and get drunk. I came to him and that happened. He forced me to make love to him. I'm a willing victim of your father, mahal ko kasi siya"tumawa Pa ulit ang kanyang ina. "I know it's not sound good to laugh at it anak. But you know we both have the same faith. I also end up being hospitalized because of laceration"tawa ng tawa bg malakas ang kanyang ina.

Napamulahan naman siya ng pinge. She's really not comfortable talking about her state now.

Really, may laceration siya because Jace take her roughly and did that many times. And not to mention that his...

"Oh my God"bulalas ko at ilang ulit na umiling sabay ilang beses ding napaantanda ng krus.

Narinig niyang muli na tumawa ang kanyang mama. Iniisip siguro na napapaantanda siya ng krus dahil sa sinabi nito.

Kainis naman kasi, bakit niya naiisip ang parte ng katawan ni Jace na iyon. Tapos. Bigla naalala niya ang kailangan Lang usapan nila ng kapatid ni Jace si Ate Eunice.

"Now, let's talk about what really happen anak"ani ng kanyang ina na nakapagpatigil ng iniisip niya.

"I... I followed him at the bar mama..."kinuwento niya ang lahat ng nangyari mula sa nagkita sila ni Jace sa Bar. "He take me many times mama, I don't have the strength to push him. Until he fall asleep besides me"pagtatapos niya.

She can't hide from her mother, lahat kinuwento niya dito. It's like she's giving her confession to a priest when she's telling it to her mother.

"What are you feeling right now?"

Kinapa niya ang nararamdaman niya ng mga sandaling iyon. Iniisip kung ano nga ba ang dapat niyang maramdaman. But still what she just told to Jace this morning, she still feels it.

"I'm not angry with him mama. Is it normal? Because Jace is forcing me to get angry with him. But really mama, hindi ako galit sa ginawa niya. Alam ko kasing wala siya sa sarili niya ng ginawa niya iyon"

Hinawakan ng mama niya anh kanyang baba at pinatungo para magkaharap kami.

"Oh my innocent baby, I'll ask you. What do you feel when Jace is owning you last night. Do you feel violated? Do you feel like your been betrayed by him? You said you don't feel anger towards him. So what do you feel anak?"

She look at her mother's eyes for a couple of seconds.

"I feel..."

How can she explain what she felt whe Jace is making her a woman.

Wait where did she get that idea? Jace is making her a woman?

Naalala niyang bigla lahat, lahat ng nangyari sa kanila ni Jace kagabi.

Oo nga at parang galit si Jace, yes he hurt her physically. But it never change the fact that she felt something. How can she explain it, that's her first time feeling it.

Napatitig siya sa kisame ng kwarto niya when suddenly she imagine Jace's face while they making it. While Jace is thrusting hard and fast at her...

Oh God, ano na po ba itong naiisip ko. Alam Kong isang makamundong bagay lamang ang mga nararamdaman ko ng mga oras na ito. Lord tulungan niyo po akong mapaglabanan ang anomang nararamdaman Kong makamundong bagay na ito.

Mariing napapikit siya, bago bumuntong hininga.

"Anak, ano man ang maging desisyon mo nandito Lang ang mama. Lagi akong susuporta sayo ano man ang mangyari"

She hug her mother tight as she burried her face to her mothers chest.

"Mama, naguguluhan po ako"

"I learned from someone that you can still continue being nun. Kahit na ganito ang nangyari sayo, desisyon mo iyon anak"

She look again to her mother's as she speak.

"How did you handle this kind of situation mama? When you and papa had this problem"she asked all of a sudden.

"I run away, that time ang bata ko Pa. I was just twenty that time, newly graduate. Wala pang naipagmamalaki, and that time too nalaman ko ipapakasal ako sa iba ng mga magulang ko at ng uncle ko. I run away, with the help of your Lola Margaret. But still my feelings for your papa never faded as years goes by. When we saw each other again I never had a hesitation, I give him the love I should give him before I leave. But your case with Jace is different anak..."

"Will you let me marry Jace mama?"she interjected her mother's speech.

Matagal bago sumagot ang mama niya. Her mother smiled at her.

"It's your choice anak, of you want to give Jace a chance to redeem himself so be it. I'll support you all the way anak. Even I know your father and brothers will be against it. I will be at your back to support you on this"

Is her decision right?

Marriage is not easy as one two three,  A B C, like a preschool teacher teach to her students.

Lalo Pa siyang mahihirapan dahil alam niya sa sarili niya na wala siyang kahit na anong ideya sa buhay na papasukin niya. All her life nakatuon Lang sa paglilingkod sa Panginoon ang buhay niya. Her goals in life is to be a Nun. And she's one step closer to her dream.

As she closed her eyes, mukha ni Jace ang nakikita niya. Not his face last night, the Jace that she's used to see from her toodlers up until she entered being a nun.

..........................

"ARE YOU REALLY SURE about this Micah?"makailangbulit na niyang tinanong iyon sa dalaga.

They're heading now to her Abbey's to talk to their head nun.

We stayed at home for a couple of weeks to heal. Lalo na si Micah na pinagpahinga ng dalawang linggo ng doctor niya.

"Jace"she said with a warning tone.

"You can change your mind anytime Micah. I know you they'll still accept you as nun despite what I did to you. I still think that I better in jail than you marrying me"

Hindi siya sinagot ni Micah, when he look at her he saw her sleeping.

Napailing nalang siya habang nag-focus sa pagmamaneho. He knows that Micah is just avoiding the topic.

For the past two weeks hindi niya ito nakita dahil pinagpapahinga ito ng mga magulang nito. He never had a chance to talk to her since the last time they talk.

He's always with his father and Tito Marco, Micah's father. They're been busy for the prepation of the wedding.

Minamadali ng tatay niya ang lahat. He didn't know what's the reason, but he just assume that his father is just ashamed of what he did to the De Larra's only daughter.

Ngayon niya Lang nakasama si Micah.

Marahan niyang niyugyog ang balikat ng dalaga para magising ito ng makarating na sila ng kombento.

"Micah, we're here"masuyong turan niya.

She really fall asleep, napahawak Pa ito sa sintido nito ng magmulat ng mata at umayos ng upo.

"Are you okay?"puno ng pag-aalalang tanong niya dito.

Kiming nguniti ito at tumango bilang sagot sa kanya.

Naghintay Lang siya ng isang minuto bago ito bumama ng sasakyan. Sinabihan siya nitong maghintay nalang sa sasakyan dahil Hindi naman daw ito magtatagal.

He occasionally look at his wrist watch after Micah's got inside. Nang mag-isang oras na ito sa loob doon na siya bumaba ng sasakyan para sana sundan ito.

But he stop on his steps when he saw Micah going out.

Sasalubungin na sana niya ito kaso mas napahinto siya sa paghakbang ng makitang namumula ang mga mata, ilong at pisngi nito. Tanda na galing ito sa pag-iyak.

Again he felt guilty while looking at her. This is why he choose to let her go before, he doesn't want her suffering on his side. And now his doing it, because of his selfishness and evil doing.

..........................