In the Shadows

Noah

If anyone ever asked, Noah Hayes would say that the most interesting thing about him was his ability to sleep through anything. During college, he fell into a habit of sleeping during his classes. Whenever a professor called on him, his mind, as if actually listening to the lecture, was able to supply the correct answer. He believed it was his superpower, a quality he believed was needed in order for him to pass his classes.

While this was possibly not the most interesting thing about Noah, it was a rather fascinating phenomenon, something that not many people could claim for themselves.

Of course, like his siblings, the most interesting aspect of Noah Hayes’ life was being born part wolf. It was a secret that he had to keep but also one he could share with the right people. Namely, his best friend, Gwyn, who was herself a werewolf in a different pack. They had met as children and been best friends since then.

And so, when recalling the events that transpired night, the night of the full moon in August, Gwyn was the person he spoke to about it.

In retrospect, he and Zane should have confessed. They should have been responsible enough to have been in the cellar on time, but beyond that, they should have owned their mistakes. It wa this mistake, this hindrance of sharing the knowledge of that night that only made matters worse. He had known, above all, that Meira desperately wanted and probably needed to know what they had done for hours on end in the forest during the full moon. Noah just could not find it in himself to explain it to his family. He could, however, explain this to Gwyn.

The morning after the full moon, after Noah woke to find him and Zane passed out in the forest near their house, he roused his brother, pulling him home. From there, he raced to Gwynn’s house, memories of the night swirling in his mind.

It was a quite simple phenomenon. During the full moon, the werewolves lost all control. It was like a Bruce Banner and the Hulk. During the moment, they were powerless to control these actions as the wolf took over. And yet, the following morning, they were able to access the memories and know what they had done. It could fill in holes of memory or it could bring deep sorrow over the actions that had transpired.

And the latter was the feeling Noah had the following morning.

Gwyn was a fairly beautiful girl. She had dyed her hair since the last time he had seen her, adding pink highlights to her already dark black hair, forcing her bluish green eyes to stand out even more. She had pierced her lip for her eighteenth birthday in addition to forcing Noah to pay for the tattoo she also acquired that night, the words “der mond” spread out on her ankle. Her nails were perpetually painted, fluctuating between black, dark blue, and dark purple. And when he found her that morning, she was lounging in the chair at her desk, doodling an anchor on her forearm, practicing to see if she would actually want that permanently tattooed on her arm.

“What did you do?” she questioned when he entered the room, falling onto her bed with a thud.

“Why do you assume I did something?” he returned, considering throwing one of her pillows at her. She sighed and swiveled in her chair to address Noah directly. An eyebrow was raised as though she was genuinely wanting to know why he had asked that.

“You wouldn’t be here this early otherwise.”

“I did something pretty bad,” he conceded.

“Really? My sister ate a deer.”

“I ate a person,” returned Noah. He back on his feet now, pacing around the room as the guilt did not feel the night before suddenly appeared within him. Why did he never listen to Meira’s advice? Why did he never try to be at home before the sun went down? He was foolish to think he could have made it home, to safety, before the full moon rose.

“I didn’t see anything about a body on the news this morning,” Gwyn interjected.

“He’s not dead,” mumbled Noah.

He and Zane had barely made it into the forest before they could feel the effects of the full moon baring down on them. Unlike many werewolves, those who are born with the werewolf gene rarely felt pain at the transformation on the full moon. There were many theories as to why this was. Most pure-werewolves believed that the turned werewolves were weaker than pure werewolves. Personally, Noah believed that for turned-werewolves, their bodies were not equipped to handle the wolf. It was unnatural for them. Noah did not think these creatures were less than himself or weaker creatures. He simply believed that their bodies were trying to reject something that was clearly unnatural.

At a young age, Noah had seen how utterly painful it was for a human to transform into a werewolf. At the time, his father had bit someone on the full moon, leaving them barely alive to become a werewolf himself. For a while, the man joined their small pack, becoming one of them. But the heartache of keeping this ginormous secret became too much for him. And the pain of the full moon only spurred on his decision to take his own life.

It was at the man’s funeral that Noah made a promise to himself. He would never create unnatural werewolves. He would never bite someone on a full moon and leave that person alive to find that, in the morning, he or she was part wolf. This was a life altering decision and he would never, if he could help it, inflict that pain on someone else.

He assumed there was nobility in that promise. He was putting someone else first. Well, perhaps it was noble, but it was also extremely selfish. He never wanted to be responsible for someone else like that.

As he sat on Gwyn’s bed, not wanting to express the night’s events, the memories flickered through his mind like a broken record. No matter how much he wanted the memories to disappear, no matter how much he wanted to push those thoughts away. He could not. The memories demanded to be addressed. And yet, Noah did not want to face them.

He could see Tommy Harrison, their next door neighbor for the vast majority of their lives, racing out to him and Zane just as their transformation began, shouting about Zane’s phone. The look of intense surprise mingled with absolute fear when he realized what was happening.

Wisely, Tommy turned around, running away from them, seeking the shelter and safety that only his home could provide. He never made it back to that big house with the numerous acres of field surrounding it.

Noah and Zane were around him in a moment, trapping him between them. Tommy whimpered, fear corroding the way he looked at them. “Please,” he begged. “I-I won’t say anything–”

His wolf form took the begging to be an invitation. He attacked Tommy, throwing the poor boy to the ground. Tommy screamed, his cries unheard by the party guests and the loud music filling the atmosphere. Just as Noah was preparing to sink his teeth further into Tommy flesh, he pushed off of the boy’s body, throwing him to the ground.

Zane stood between Noah and Tommy, protecting their sister’s friend from any further attack. Noah growled, rising to his feet. He no longer cared about his dinner, just proving to the other wolf that he was stronger and superior to him.

Zane growled at him, a part of him remembering who Tommy was to them, what it would do to their sister if they ate Tommy. Noah was annoyed, lunging at his brother. Zane jumped out of the way, spinning around to attack Noah, aiming specifically for his legs. Before he knew what had happened, Noah found himself on the ground once more. And when he looked up again, Zane was protecting Tommy from Noah.

Did he know? Noah wondered to himself now. Did a part of Zane know who this person was or did he just want to start a fight with his old brother?

At any rate, Tommy was left, bleeding out, in the forest, defended by Zane until Noah eventually lost interest. Noah had originally been able to sink his teeth into Tommy’s shoulder, a wound that could be treated if he could make his way to the hospital. But he never made it. Zane walked around Tommy in a large circle for hours, keeping Tommy in the middle of the forest. Sure, Tommy cried out, wanting help. But no one ever came and he eventually passed out.

Noah wondered what was going through Tommy’s mind this morning. What did he recall when he opened his eyes to find himself laying in the forest, his wound gone, replaced by a much deadlier and problematic issue, something he would not fully understand until the following full moon?

And how was Noah going to break this news to Meira and the rest of his family. He could already see the horrified gleam in Meira’s eyes and the disappointed gaze his father would give him. He should have just gone home. That’s what Meira would have done. She spent her day before the full moon ensuring that she could do no harm to people. Noah was simply not like her that way. She should have been the firstborn, he admitted to himself for the thousandth time, at least no one would be unnecessarily injured because of her.

“What are you going to tell your family?” Gwyn asked, breaking the silence that had risen between them. She rose from her seat and sat down beside her friend on the bed.

He shrugged in response. Gwyn was wise enough to read through this, coming to the inevitable conclusion that he was not going to say a thing to them about this. She sighed again, her disappoint there but not fully clear to Noah.

“You realize the Cuthberts are not going to like this, right? We have a deal with them.”

“That deal ended the moment they sent him to Elbert,” Noah returned, anger seeping into his words. The deal he and his father had made with that family had been for the benefit of the people living in Silver Hill, Colorado. But, as far as Noah was concern, the pact had been obliterated when they exiled Noah’s friend to Elbert, Colorado, of all places, the land where nothing interesting ever happened.

He leaned back on the bed and asked about Gwyn’s weekend plans, effectively changing the conversation. She told him, in great and annoying detail, about her date with the doctor she had met at the grocery store. It seemed apparent that she would not be going out with his guy again. It was hard, in Noah’s mind, to date anyone outside of the sects of werewolves scattered around the city. They could never understand their problems. And it was easier not to get too attached to anyone they might inevitably injured.

As he walked home, he stopped by the forest near their home, checking to see if Tommy was still there. As he had expected, Tommy had vanished, probably returning to his house to sleep off the massive headache he would have over the weekend. He should have been more responsible, he should have been smarter. He should have protected Tommy the way that Zane had.

Even Zane was a better wolf than Noah. He was what Tommy needed while Noah was the animal that had just cursed the poor boy.

He walked slowly back to his house, fear mounting inside of him. When he entered the house, his father glanced up at him, a questioning look plastered to his face. Noah had every opportunity to explain what he had done. He could confess, telling everyone how much of a monster he truly was. Instead, he climbed up the steps to his bedroom, closing the door firmly behind him, hoping to leave the memories of the night before behind him.