His Forever 2-His girlfriend

Alisa The late July air buzzed with the life of early morning activities even as the light drizzles of rain came down heavier with each bead. Vendors and shop keepers set up their business regardless of what would soon become a downpour, though I was sure that had more to do with the waterproof coats and boots they had on, a good comparison to the sports bra and sweatpants paired with Nikes I had thrown on this morning. At least they made running through this jumpy weather a lot easier.  The last two months had been—a lot, if I were trying to use a simple term. If I were going for a more realistic term, miserable, difficult, heartbreaking, emotional, and every other word in the book to describe how it felt to walk away from the man you loved. Dr. Gage had suggested walking and any other form of exercise as a good way to let loose and after trying out a routine of jogging for 30 minutes for almost two months I could say she was not wrong.  Well not completely.  When I was out and blending with the world, I did not get the chance to think about Drey or our heart-searing breakup, or about Stella and all the one million ways I had imagined murdering her. I could focus on at least breathing, but that was just about it. Once I was past the threshold of the door of the apartment Ron and I shared, the memories came flooding back, sweeping through me and jarring painfully through my heart again and again and again.  He left. Because I made him and that was the one thing I would never forgive myself for doing. Drey had stayed away as he promised and I was torn between relief and pain. Relief because he loved me enough to respect my choice and pain because I loved him. f**k, I loved him and there was not a day that passed without the thought of going back to Drey weighing on my heart. But even with all that had happened, I could not find it in me to regret choosing dad. He was the only family I had left and I understood the sacrifice I had to make for him. That knowledge though did not make bearing the brunt any easier.  On most days I was either locked in my bedroom or immersing myself in work and exercise just enough to keep my mind off him, off what we shared, off what I lost, what I knew I was never getting back again.  It was easier to keep my mind thinking straight though when I was being followed by the leachy paparazzi trying to suck every little detail about my life through the tiniest crack. On most mornings, I woke up to the awfullest lies I had ever heard about myself. I had seen firsthand just how ruthless they could be and quite honestly, I was not sure if I would have survived that night if Drew was not there—saving my ass again. Like he had done in the last few months.  He was there, always, nearly every day. Even when all I wanted to do was shut myself in and cry, Drew and Ron had always been there to pull me right out of it. And it was even better because he was not here as Drey's brother—though their resemblance was something to deal with—he was here as my friend.  My new studio was coming along well. For an idea put together no more than a few months ago and in the faze of pain, it was coming on well. I could not take all the praise for that though. Drew had been such a big help, with his right connections as a fashion model, and the extra savings I had gotten from working at Carlson Corp, it was a go.  Today we were finalizing the procedure with a meeting to lease a spot Ron and I had found somewhere across town. It was perfect for creating my designs on paper and bringing them to life. I was still a little unsure if the world was ready to see my work—most of the designs I had made had only been seen by me—but after I showed him a few Drew had concluded it would be a sin to keep it to myself.  From the corner of my eyes, a man in an all-black outfit with his large coat stood out as I approached my apartment building. I did not need to look twice to know that he was one of those leaches, the looks he threw at me with each step I took closer told me he wanted to speak to me. As I prepared to breeze past him, Drew suddenly came into view. He was leaning on the wall with one foot, hands in pocket, and giving the reporter a side-eye that dared him to take any step towards me.  I offered a small smile as I walked into the building and after taking a few steps, I could hear Drew following behind me.  "Thanks," I murmured as he joined me on the elevator.  He waved it off with a shrug as he always did and punched the buttons for my apartment. No matter how many times I thanked him, Drew never really accepted the thanks for all he had done for me. In a way, it almost felt like he blamed himself for his brother's actions, which was funny because if anyone was to blame for all that happened, it was me.  "They have become fewer this month," I noted, pushing a damp loc of hair to the side and resisting the urge to shiver. Ron and Drew would insist I no longer went on the early morning runs if they thought I had caught a cold.  "I told you he was working on them." He said carefully, but that did nothing to hide the way my face paled at his direct reference to Drey. It was not the first time my friends had brought Drey up, but on most days they were more subtle in telling me they wanted to see us back together. Even Ron was surprisingly rooting for us to get back again. I woke up every day with the same desire, but I knew just what awaited me if I ever went back to Drey again. My father was the only family I had left—the only one I did not kill—and I was not going to lose him. I would rather bury my emotions and live without Drey than lose dad.  "Don't give me that look, Alisa," Drew said in a firm tone, and I realized I was glaring. "Why are you both being so damn stubborn, he's a damn mess without you and we both know you want to get back with my brother..." "I don't need Drey's help." I cut his words because I did not need to hear anymore. Everything Drew said was true but that would not change my choice.  Thankfully, the doors dinged open and I stepped out before Drew got the chance to further his desire for us to get back together.  "You are Drenched," Ron noted as soon as I walked in. "You did not run in the rain did you, Alisa."  His tone was stern and I knew that look he was giving me all the way from the counter. He was mad, and before I got the chance to answer, Drew spoke, crushing any chance at explanation I had. "Yes, she did." Rolling my eyes, I tossed my keys on the table and turned the heater on. "It's just a light drizzle." Drew sank onto the couch, his face still holding that disapproving look. "Of course, until you get yourself killed." "I will not die from a little cold, by the way, I'm sure there are more pressing issues to worry about right now, like guess who's finalizing the lease deal today and owning her very own studio," I said with a grin that helped to lighten the air. Ron came around, holding a cup of coffee to me. "Congrats Bess, I'm so proud of you." "Thanks, but you know it would have been impossible to achieve any of this without you two."  Drew muttered a "thanks" to Ron and took a sip from his cup, "we only helped push forth what you brought to life, this is all you, Alisa, and I agree with Ron, we're proud of you."  "Do you want me to come with you, I could cancel my date today." Ron offered. I was not the only one whose heart had been sliced through. Ron and Daniel had broken up too. After weeks of bickering and constant fighting, they both agreed to put an end to their relationship. But unlike me, Ronnie had fought to make their relationship work, I had seen first hand. And while I was handling it by locking myself in and sobbing myself to death, Ron was taking this change better, he had even created a profile on Grindr.  "You don't have to," I said as I took a few steps to the window. The rain had picked up drastically in just a few minutes and the streets were nearly empty now save for a few cars and people still winding their way in umbrellas despite the downpour. But even in the rain, even through the fog, even through my eyes hazy from crying almost everyday, I could recognize that shiny, spotless black sports car sitting idly right across the road. Apart from the fact that few people on this side of town drove around in a Veyron, I had taken Drey's hand a few times and climbed into the car.  My breath came to a grinding halt as I figured it was his, everything Drew and Ron was saying faded into a slow rhythm that was soundless compared to the way my heart thrummed rapidly. My entire being came alive just by the knowledge that Drey was sitting in that car right now. I squinted my eyes to get a better look, maybe this hunger and need aching and nipping in my heart would go away if I just got a glimpse of him. That was only wishful thinking though because apart from the rain obstructing a clear view, the windows were tinted.  Still, I imagined him, his handsome face, his smile that always made my knees buckle, and that smirk that just made me long to kiss his lips until we were both breathless. But maybe it was just my tired, overly emotional mind imagining things. A thought popped up in my brain and I turned to Drew. "Did you come in your brother's car?" Drew and Ron turned to me as the conversation came to halt. I could understand the shocked look on their faces, even I was surprised that I still had a straight face while thinking of Drey. But I had to know, I had to know if he was still, thinking about me as much as I did him. If he missed me if he still wanted me. If he still cared enough to check on me after I had pushed him away.  If he still loved me. "No." he shook his head, giving me s bewildered expression. "Drey would kill me if I touched his baby."  "What's wrong Lisa?" Ron asked. "Nothing." I shook my head and looked back at the window. That was a big fat lie though because this time he was no longer there. Pain squeezed my heart again and I sucked in a sharp breath to hold back for sobbing. He had left again. "Absolutely nothing." With a shaky sigh, I zipped the curtains close and walked back to the table. I frowned in disappointment as I looked through the day's mail only to find a stack of bills and insurance flyers.  "There was a mail for you today," Ron said, walking back to the kitchen counter.  My head snapped up as hope, and relief coursed through me. Maybe I was finally going to get an answer to those questions. Maybe I would know if Drey still wanted me even if that did not really matter, but for some reason, it would soothe my heart. "Who was it from?" "Anonymous," he shrugged and pointed to the package at the edge of the table. I had had my share of anonymous blackmails and I should have known better than to rush at the package and tear it open in hopes of finding some secret love note from Drey expressing his feelings and how much he still loved me.  But that was exactly what I did.  It might have been a little too much to expect a love letter but being greeted by a magazine with Drey in a tuxedo on the front cover would not have been so bad—if I could just get my head around the image of his arms wrapped around the beautiful blonde standing next to him. The kind of woman that would intimidate any other woman in the room, the kind that had me instantly and irrationally jealous.  This time nothing could hold back my tears. Whatever little thread of hope I had slowly crumbled beneath me and I got my answer. The picture must have said a thousand words to anyone else but I could only hear the words: He does not love you.  He does not care.  He does not want you.  He moved on. And he most definitely does not think about you.  The realization clawed at me from all sides and I barked a breathy laugh that sounded maniacal. Maybe I really was crazy.  I could hear the worry in Ron and Drew's voices as they asked if I was okay. I was not, but I was too hurt to express those words. Tossing the magazine on the table, I got to my feet and started in the direction of my bedroom, I had to be alone right now.  "Where are you going, Alisa?" Drew was on his feet following behind me. "I need to take a shower," I said, looking back at the magazine cover again. "Oh and Drew? I'm sure Drey must be going absolutely crazy without me."